Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Why No One Robs an Israeli 7-11

The Muqata
1. "We were tying each up in our underwear watching Futurama, then we started craving Skittles."

2. "If you want to survive the next three minutes, you damn well better have some Kotex!"

3. In 2014, President Palin's death squads celebrate killing the last remaining holdouts of Obama's ACORN Army.

4. "Nice convenience store... shame if anything happened to it."

5. "I can't believe you're texting and missing this super-awesome cockfight!"

Best of Army of Dad
Late night Hagen-Daas run by the IDF.

Best of Jack Reacher
"And what about this one? What kind of pleasure does this ribbed one provide, exactly?"

Best of Viking04
Six armed chicks, all buying cookie dough ice cream, some ex-boyfriend has a Kaddish coming.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Talk trash at the JDL women's lacrosse match, and you're in for a world of hurt.

Best of jeff
"Hey dude - pack of Malboro 100s, six pack of Maccabee, and two boxes of 5.56 NATO. Man I love the ATF convenience store..."

Best of Tim
the obligatory 3am snowcone and ammo run

Best of dub
Wearing an M-16 before Labor Day? OMG!

Best of Viking04
Somehow, somewhere, there is a really good Robert Earl Keen song here.

Best of steve o
My school was tough. All the cool girls would wear their auto-loaders slung real low.

26 comments:

Army of Dad said...

Oh and some Q-Tips, we have to clean our weapons too you know.

Army of Dad said...

You just know that somewhere a terrorist is really pissed that the Israelis let there women go out by themselves without covering their faces and carrying automatic weapons.

Army of Dad said...

Like, why can't they issue us pink rifles!?

Army of Dad said...

Late night Hagen-Daas run by the IDF.

Jack Reacher said...

"We're gonna split the bill six ways."

Jack Reacher said...

"And what about this one? What kind of pleasure does this ribbed one provide, exactly?"

Jack Reacher said...

"You don't take checks? That's funny. We carry rifles, and we don't take 'no.'"

Viking04 said...

Six armed chicks, all buying cookie dough ice cream, some ex-boyfriend has a Kaddish coming.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Talk trash at the JDL women's lacrosse match, and you're in for a world of hurt.

WordVerify: change - Obamalama's coming!!! Hide your wallets!!!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Louise, Ruth's right. We don't need no steenking CCW permits.

-OR-

"Harmonic Convergence - Thy Perfect Storm"
Scientists note that women who associate with each other tend to develop similar monthly cycles. I'd really hate to be in camp when PMS Day rolls around.

dub said...

A couple of those chicks look kind of fa....uh...hey honey, you're looking really hot. Please dont shoot me.

jeff said...

"So you've got a security camera? So what?"

"Why is it that in Israel the convenience store owners are still Indians?"

"Hey dude - pack of Malboro 100s, six pack of Maccabee, and two boxes of 5.56 NATO. Man I love the ATF convenience store..."

Rodney Dill said...

Looking for a few good men

dub said...

Sheila Goldberg thought it would be a good idea to bring a backpack to a gun fight. Dumb bitch.

ThisOne said...

No I will not put that on, and no-one else wants to either. Can you please get up off the floor and let us buy our stuff?

dadoctah said...

"Cheerleading practice is *way* more fun this year!"

Army of Dad said...

Hey ladies, lets play 'This is my rifle, this is my gun' tonight!

Army of Dad said...

Thursday models prepare to visit dub and let him know what they think about him!

Rodney Dill said...

Chicks for (fort) Dix

Tim said...

the obligatory 3am snowcone and ammo run

dub said...

Wearing an M-16 before Labor Day? OMG!

Mr. Hankey said...

2015 - High school girls in Vermont pick up prescriptions from the local Government Store. Being after 10 pm on a Tuesday, the police patrols sanctioned by the police union are on their 3 hour break. All hail Obama!!

Viking04 said...

Somehow, somewhere, there is a really good Robert Earl Keen song here.

steve o said...

My school was tough. All the cool girls would wear their auto-loaders slung real low.

Rockhauler said...

Since all the girls brought their M-16s but left their loaded magazines at the barracks, Akmed al Rahim had no problem disarming them and not only making off with the guns but the backpack full of frilly undies.

Oiao said...

I meant to post this video the other day (the picture is near the end, but there is a similar pic of them in their skivvies early on). Great sound track.

Question: How long would they survive with gun control?

Enjoy. I know me and my small Marine team did every time we trained, and trained with the IDF.

Especially the single guys :-)

Semper Fi!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVz6d24Q52c