Divine Miss M
1. Eat your heart out, Denise Richards.
2. Ironically, they met at a party on a pontoon boat.
3. "There is something about seeing a breast the size of your head that makes you forget important things." - Dave Sim, Cerebus
4. She's either going to smother him with affection, or just smother him.
5. Hey, she's got brown eyes. Why didn't I notice that before?
Best of prince of leaves
Later, in the bridal suite, the chaste Jasen would marvel at the feat of civil engineering/dressmaking it took to keep Denise's breasts off the floor.
Best of Van Helsing
"Honey, could you move your nose? It's blocking my view."
Best of Submariner
DRUDGEBREAKING:Spandex failure at reception leaves 16 suffering from whalebone shrapnel wounds.
Best of mega
Karen thought the wedding would be a good time to ask the all-important question, "So...what kinds of things turn you on?"
Best of mpur
Denise was right: Fun bags make excellent wedding gifts.
Best of Army of Dad
Some people to offense to the monogrammed towels we got Denise Davis-Dobson.
Best of flyovercountry
Groom thought bubble: Come on, let's get to the motel, I've got to enjoy these before they start dragging on the floor.
Best of Snowdog
Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge...tracts of land.
Best of steve o
Although the newlywed husband would later be tragically killed in a head-on collision, the bride would miraculously survive.