Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Redheaded Dude Is Kinda Cute

Julie Teh Jarhead

1. Fortunately for Ron Weasley, sex reassignment at Hogwarts was as simple as waving a wand and repeating genitalis transformus.

2. For once, even Howard Stern was turned off by the possibility of a lesbian make-out session.

3. Little known fact: Since 1.20.2009, all lesbian menstrual cycles have synched with Hillary's.

4. "We're registered at Macy's, Target, and Radio Shack... we're going to need lots and lots of batteries!"

5. "Ambassadors to Lickmycrotchistan? We'd be honored, Madame Secretary. The confirmation is in your hotel room? At Midnight? We'll be there!"


Best of Matt the k
Cynthia, you may want to consult your Handbook. Its not considered lesbianism anymore if your girfriend actually had a d*ck.
Oops I meant to say 'has' instead of 'had'. Oh well, Dawn's head will probably explode somewhere in there.

Best of ZACHARIEL - GAY ANGEL
It takes a real man to tie a proper Windsor Knot.

Best of Army of Dad
KD Lang goes ginger.

Best of dadoctah
The new crop of Muppets are *so* lifelike!

Best of Mr. Hankey
It's always uplifting when celebrity women marry one of us ugly dudes. We know we have a chance.

Best of Viking04
Buckingham Palace had no comment on the rumour that Prince Harry had been photographed in drag, accompanying a C-List actress from a tasteless American television programme.

Best of Red
If you're gong to date a woman that looks like a man, guess what? You can date a man and the "parts" don't need batteries! "Go green" lesbians! Date men! Save the environment from all those dead batteries.

Best of metalgarth
The porn industry would pay a significant amount of money to make sure the wedding night video NEVER saw the light of day

Best of Snowdog
No, you can't come to Somalia to be a pirate. You have no soul!

Best of GregMan
"Why yes, we did vote for Hillary in the primaries, how did you know?"

Best of Submariner
Evidently, when Cynthia "chews the fat," she really chews the fat.

Best of ShoeChick
Oh look. Howdy Doody is all grown up and getting married! Isn't that nice.

32 comments:

Matt the k said...

Cynthia, you may want to consult your Handbook. Its not considered lesbianism anymore if your girfriend actually had a d*ck.

Matt the K said...

What's the matter, is Rosie too pretty for you?

Matt the K said...

Oops I meant to say 'has' instead of 'had'. Oh well, Dawn's head will probably explode somewhere in there.

ZACHARIEL - GAY ANGEL said...

It takes a real man to tie a proper Windsor Knot.

Army of Dad said...

KD Lang goes ginger.

dub said...

Coming Soon, to a Thurzday near you...

dadoctah said...

The new crop of Muppets are *so* lifelike!

Mr. Hankey said...

It's always so difficult to figure out which one is the bottom.

Mr. Hankey said...

Somebody needs to ask Cynthia Nixon "Why buy the cow ...?"

Mr. Hankey said...

I thought Cynthia Nixon beat cancer.

Mr. Hankey said...

It's always uplifting when celebrity women marry one of us ugly dudes. We know we have a chance.

mpur said...

"Christine" couldn't wait until the wedding night when the 'lesbian trapped in a man's body' would finally be revealed.

Viking04 said...

Buckingham Palace had no comment on the rumour that Prince Harry had been photographed in drag, accompanying a C-List actress from a tasteless American television programme.

Red said...

If you're gong to date a woman that looks like a man, guess what? You can date a man and the "parts" don't need batteries! "Go green" lesbians! Date men! Save the environment from all those dead batteries.

metalgarth said...

The porn industry would pay a significant amount of money to make sure the wedding night video NEVER saw the light of day

metalgarth said...

#1 reason Cartman hates gingers so much

metalgarth said...

Their dream home will not feature "Fresh Cut Penis", but plenty of plastic ones

Sea Captian said...

Yarrrrr.... not a looker in the bunch

divine miss m said...

Hey, Cynthia, Subby's got what you need!

Snowdog said...

No, you can't come to Somalia to be a pirate. You have no soul!

GregMan said...

Tonight, on the E! True Hollywood Story, the secret life of Carrot-top.

GregMan said...

"Why yes, we did vote for Hillary in the primaries, how did you know?"

GregMan said...

"All I know is, once he/she/it bagan to tell me about Ron Paul, I was hooked."

curly said...

"I have a yeast infection."

""Cheeze fondue! Yummy!"

Julie the Jarhead said...

What's Cynthia Nixon doing with Onslow from KEEPING UP APPEARANCES?

Submariner said...

Divine Miss M said...
Hey, Cynthia, Subby's got what you need!
Yepper, I could straight-en her out...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

Somebody ought to tell Cynthia that more than 30% fat in your diet exceeds the RDA.

Submariner said...

Evidently, when Cynthia "chews the fat," she really chews the fat.

ShoeChick said...

Oh look. Howdy Doody is all grown up and getting married! Isn't that nice.

Jay Guevara said...

"What are we serving at the reception? Tuna, what else?"

dub said...

Dude, what the hell happened to Carrot-top??