Wednesday, May 20, 2009

More Proof: Life... just not fair.

LGF 2.0 is doing a 'Cap This.' I know you guys can do better...


1. Rita found that rubbing her crotch against's Ricky's scruffy head was the perfect thing to relieve the itching from her crabs.

2. "Who cares if she's got an arm growing out of her abdomen. Like I'm gonna f--- her abdomen."

3. "I didn't get a harrumph out of that skank!"

4. "Point out one more... one more... girl that's hotter than me and this cup of liquid nitrogen goes right in your lap, buster."

5. Rick was born in Arkansas exactly nine months after his mother 'worked out' a DUI at the governor's mansion.

Best of metalgarth
Either A) He needs a haircut or B) She really needs a Brazillian Wax
voting starts now

Best of Viking04
Amber prepares to queef in Biff's ear to get his attention.

Best of GregMan
Tragically, Biff was too drunk to do anything other than giggle and point as the tidal wave closed in on the sprink breakers.

Best of Jack Reacher
ORA: "This is how you throw a sexy party. Stewie Griffin eat your heart out!"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Jody still remembers that day he took Dad's credit card without permission.

Best of Oiao
"Dude! Then I buy this boat on an overextended AMEX and, whoa, default, and Uncle Teddy get's the rest of the Senate to bail me out. Word! And I'm taking that babe for a ride in a car over the bridge later to celebrate, Dude!"

Best of Dr. Hardcrab
DUDE!! I was just scratchin' my head and, like, SMELL MY FINGER!!!!

Best of Submariner
...and bring back some Nachos Grande. And a bag of marshmallows. And some Cheetos. And maybe a cube of Coors? Oh, and don't forget some bratwursts, and charcoal, and lighter fluid, and a couple of bags of chips, and...

Best of dadoctah
The one Baldwin brother even Billy's embarrassed to be seem with.

Best of Army of Mom
Dammit Darren, she's right. If you put your ear to her pussy, you CAN hear the ocean.

44 comments:

metalgarth said...

Either A) He needs a haircut or B) She really needs a Brazillian Wax

voting starts now

dub said...

Damn you metalgarth...stole my joke.

Viking04 said...

Dub moved across the International Date Line so Thursday would come a day early

Viking04 said...

Amber prepares to queef in Biff's ear to get his attention.

dub said...

Ok guys, not cool...who took a picture of Futurama with my camera?

dub said...

Unbeknownst to Johnny, Kimberly was on the rag...and soon would not be the only ginger kid on the boat.

GregMan said...

Blonde, flat stomach, nice smile... yep, he's Dub material, all right.

WV: probilau - probilau these word verfs are getting too long

GregMan said...

"Did her, did her, did her...". Stacey finally snapped after Biff's constant boasting and poured a glass of transmission fluid on his head.

GregMan said...

Tragically, Biff was too drunk to do anything other than giggle and point as the tidal wave closed in on the sprink breakers.

Army of Dad said...

Biff thanking Chas for slipping Bunni a ruffi-colda.

Army of Dad said...

...here she comes, watch out boy she'll chew you up, she's a maneater.

Army of Dad said...

This was no boating accident!

Army of Dad said...

After all the Bud light Biff drank Bunni knew this was the only hard head he would have for her.

Army of Dad said...

Giving Head: UR DOING IT WRONG!

Army of Dad said...

"Sniff my finger."

divine miss m said...

Sorry, Ricky, I gotta go; looks like the fleet is in.

jeff said...

What Biff didn't realize was that Jennie wasn't interested in him - she was shooting for the gal in the red bikini.

"Mary, get the camera ready - this hosebeast is about to get a real wet head."

Joe Francis - was a jerk, is a jerk, will always be a jerk.

Submariner said...

His beer isn't the only "shorty" he's gripped that way today...

Jack Reacher said...

"We'll be back later after a three hour tour. Ready, Ginger?"

Jack Reacher said...

"If that guy on the bow doesn't stop yelling 'King of the world' , I swear I'll throw him overboard."

Jack Reacher said...

ORA: "This is how you throw a sexy party. Stewie Griffin eat your heart out!"

Jack Reacher said...

"You know, it's the strangest thing; every time I take the boat out, my hair ends up smelling like tuna."

steve o said...

Heh. The guy with the Subaru also has a boat. Who knew?

Mr. Hankey said...

Jody still remembers that day he took Dad's credit card without permission.

Mr. Hankey said...

The next morning, Biff woke up in a bathtub filled with ice and a note saying his kidneys had been removed.

Oiao said...

"Dude! Then I buy this boat on an overextended AMEX and, whoa, default, and Uncle Teddy get's the rest of the Senate to bail me out. Word!"

"An I'm taking that babe for a ride in a car over the bridge later to celebrate, Dude!"

Dr. Hardcrab said...

DUDE!!! PULL MY FINGER....NOW!!!!!

Dr. Hardcrab said...

DUDE!! I was just scratchin' my head and, like, SMELL MY FINGER!!!!

Mr. Hankey said...

Not caring what proof the CIA had, Nancy Pelosi claimed that she forgot all about that day with the gang at the Cove when she learned how to waterboard people to reveal where they hid their stash.

jeff said...

"Huh. I wear my supersexy strap bikini and all Biff wants to do is drink cheap beer and go "Wassup!" all day. Hey Julie - wanna neck?"

Captca: tentsate - somehow it seems appropriate.

Submariner said...

Oh look, Billy shat himself...

Submariner said...

It's too hot out there for penguins.

Submariner said...

No cap, just wanted to ask when you started running v words as advertisements? My last one was "horstrin" and I'm pretty sure that's what Sarah Jessica Parker uses when her sinuses get clogged.

Submariner said...

Du-ude! She may not look like much but she's made the Kessel run in under 11 parsecs...

Submariner said...

...and bring back some Nachos Grande. And a bag of marshmallows. And some Cheetos. And maybe a cube of Coors? Oh, and don't forget some bratwursts, and charcoal, and lighter fluid, and a couple of bags of chips, and...

dadoctah said...

The one Baldwin brother even Billy's embarrassed to be seem with.

Army of Mom said...

Val Kilmer's half-brother. Even drunk and retarded, he's getting more pussy than Val these days.

Army of Mom said...

Hey Val, where is your career now?

Val: *pointing to the toilet*

Army of Mom said...

Damn, Pamela. Shave next time. I've still got pubes between my teeth.

Army of Mom said...

Dammit Darren, she's right. If you put your ear to her pussy, you CAN hear the ocean.

Army of Mom said...

Oddly enough, I have this outfit. Only when my guy's face is that close to my crotch, his finger isn't pointing the other way.

Army of Mom said...

Ha, jokes on you dude. She's not pouring a cold drink on me. Its actually quite warm running down my neck.

What?

Army of Mom said...

OW! OW! OW! My hair's caught in your bellybutton ring!!!!!

mpur said...

What's in his head: "This is the only boat in the world that combines a closed bow with the TSC3TM hull and GPS-based Zero Off speed control."

What comes out of his mouth: "Duuude."