Saturday, May 30, 2009

Kids and their weapons

Brender

1. Tyler and Emma prepare for the last day of school... ever!

2. "Damn, I can't believe I missed Mrs. Watkins. For a fat chick, she can run pretty fast!"

3. "What do you mean I'm overcompensating? F--k you, b-tch!"

4. "I shot off a load, now I feel like taking a nap. Why are you giggling?"

5. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like... victory."

Best of steve o
A young Jack Bauer demonstrates his summer project on the 7th graders who took his lunch money last year.

Best of Jay Guevara
"OK, I'm ready. Let me know when we get to Berkeley."

Best of Van Helsing
That ought to keep Barney Fwank at bay.

Best of Snowdog
"But how can you shoot teachers and classmates?" "Simple. Just don't lead them as much."

Best of Submariner
What are the odds? AoD has one of these mounted in his pickup...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Harry Potter & the Chariot of Whoopass

Best of mega
Toyota took advantage of GM and Chryslers' government-coerced move toward fuel efficient mini death traps, by introducing the Dominator A500, the most bad-ass SUV in world history.

Best of Double the U
The first and last time the wife allowed me to take care of the kids all day.

Best of Matt the K
The family that strafes together stays together.

Best of conservativeteen
Stevie plots revenge on congress for sticking him with $55,000 dollars of debt.

Best of dub
Young Johnny practices straffing a field of North Korean peasants while little Susy prepares for her first tail-hook rape.

50 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

"Well, it looks like I've found Mr. Josey Wales his-self."

Jack Reacher said...

"Attention, everyone; Penis. That is all."

Jack Reacher said...

Just clinging to his gun before heading off to church...

steve o said...

What do ya think -- children of Republicans, or Democrats?

steve o said...

A young Jack Bauer demonstrates his summer project on the 7th graders who took his lunch money last year.

steve o said...

A young Jack Bauer executes a terrorist for show and tell.

Jay Guevara said...

"OK, I'm ready. Let me know when we get to Berkeley."

Double the U said...

You wont be taking my lunch money today!

Van Helsing said...

That ought to keep Barney Fwank at bay.

Silhouette said...

"We don't use signs to fight repression. But if we did, we can spell."

Viking04 said...

And Dad thought he was hot-shit doorgunning with a Pig. No double feeds for me!

Viking04 said...

This is much cooler than the hairy-legged chicks in the Piece Corps (sic).

Viking04 said...

24 Volts ROCKS!

Snowdog said...

"But how can you shoot teachers and classmates?" "Simple. Just don't lead them as much."

Snowdog said...

Double ORA: Klebold and Harris? I f**ked 'em!

mega said...

ORA
And yet somehow, Tom Cruise managed to survive another Gatling massacre.

mega said...

Tommy enjoyed shooting Republicans, as part of the 2nd grade curriculum. Sis was too young, and had to complete another two full years of GLBT training before being allowed to handle the weapons.

mega said...

Uh oh, Reuters has copied this photograph, and added the caption "Christianists Prepare Their Children For War"

Submariner said...

Mr. Glitter? Paging Mr. Gary Glitter...

Submariner said...

What are the odds? AoD has one of these mounted in his pickup...

Submariner said...

Pretty good shot Billy, but I think she dodged under the harpoon when she did the splits.

Submariner said...

Billy giggled to himself; "ADT or Brinks? I kinda don't freakin' think so, Pops."

Mr Hankey said...

Its a family weekend on the border patrol!! Bring the kids!!!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Harry Potter & the Chariot of WhoopassTo create a hipper image, Disney pays a princely sum for full rights, and then tinkers with the story line.

In this episode, Harry & Hermione prepare for battle when two nemeses combine forces... Lord Ahmadinejadmort and Kim Jung Slithern.

metalgarth said...

Call me a 'bedwetter' one more time, you doodyhead

metalgarth said...

Just your average small town Indiana family preparing to take a canoe trip down the Sugar Creek and see the covered bridges.

mega said...

How many more of our children do we need to send to war before we realize we're killing our future?

mega said...

Toyota took advantage of GM and Chryslers' government-coerced move toward fuel efficient mini death traps, by introducing the Dominator A500, the most bad-ass SUV in world history.

Double the U said...

The first and last time the wife allowed me to take care of the kids all day.

Rodney Dill said...

As Children, Shaggy and Daphne had had better training than their later life pacifism indicated.

Silhouette said...

What kind of parents does this boy have?!? Ladies first, son!

Submariner said...

Prayer: "And; please God; let that Berkeley doody-head on the I-5 pull his .38 on my daddy in rush hour today?"

Submariner said...

PRAIRIE MISTING: UR DOIN IT PURFEKT

prince of leaves said...

Oh sure...the Obama's can take a taxpayer-paid date-night trip to New York City, but "borrowing" an Apache to take the kids prairie-dog plinking is somehow wrong?

Submariner said...

Thought bubble; "Let's see that damn birthday cake candle stay lit THIS year..."

Submariner said...

"...and unlike the A Team, when I sling hot lead it HIT'S what I'm shooting at."

Submariner said...

D@ammit, I said "Who queefed?"

Army of Dad said...

How much for that gatling gun in the window...

Army of Dad said...

Side note: My sister recently told my mom to never bring a gun to her house. I bet I could get her to sh!t her pants if we pulled up with one of these sticking out the side of our minivan!

Army of Dad said...

No buddy, we can't buy that gun. Then your sister will want one in pink too!

Army of Dad said...

Little boy thought bubble: Where is that damn golf cart?!

dub said...

Little Susie always started to assume the position each time she saw a boy with a big "gun".

Matt the K said...

The family that strafes together stays together.

conservativeteen said...

Stevie plots revenge on congress for sticking him with $55,000 dollars of debt.

mpur said...

It's never too early to prepare the your kids for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Chrees said...

ORA: "Lee Harvey Oswald was a p&ssy"

virgil xenophon said...

I see none of the crazy lefties from Democratic Underground, Daily Kos or TPM Cafe have found this site yet or you'd have Homeland Security types surrounding your home and be slapped with a child-abuse suit by the local authorities
faster than you can say "ACLU." (not to mention the load of crap that would hit the comments section.) :)

virgil xenophon said...

PS: Psst, What are ya gonna pay me not to tell? (I could use the money.... :) )

dub said...

Young Johnny practices straffing a field of North Korean peasants while little Susy prepares for her first tail-hook rape.

Submariner said...

Fire at Will? Which one is Will, Daddy?