Friday, May 22, 2009

The Horror! OMG, The Horror!

SnowSnake 1. Standard Cap #218: "Mom?"

2. "Are we done here? I need to get to Minnesota and sing an aria over Norm Coleman's re-election bid."

3. Unexpectedly, all of Madonna's nip-tucks come loose at the same time in the middle of a performance.

4. Metaphors for Democrat spending, anyone?

5. There's enough material for five Thursday babes here. Unfortunately, it's all combined into one big Friday nightmare.


Wicked Doubleplusgood Best of
Would someone puhleeze tell Megan McCain to stop being such an attention whore?

Best of Viking04
SHE BREEEACCCHHEESSS! Mr. Starbuck, lower the boats.

Best of sixdegreesofblondness
Do my gigantic bovine tits make my butt look fat?

Best of dub
I turned it on, but the Futurama, it does nothing.

Best of Submariner
It was at that fateful moment that Margie realized how right the doctor has been when he warned her that "...one day, your weight and gravity will overcome your hip sockets."

Best of Jack Reacher
"I hope Perez Hilton likes my routine. We use the same eyeliner."

Best of prince of leaves
1986: "Boudoir weaaaarrrrr!" The Soviet Union's 'Glasnost in the Bedroom' traveling lingerie exhibition closes quietly after the first night in London.

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Full splits or outright geological fault? Only her geologist knows for sure...

Best of dadoctah
In a figurative sense *only*, the early 90s were lean years for Miss Bertinelli's career.

Best of Rich Bateman
Hey...I have that outfit!

Best of Mr. Hankey
Britney Spears' next comeback isn't expected to be as successful.

Best of Double the U
...and it's called "The Aristocrats!

60 comments:

Anonymous said...

Gabrielle has really let herself go since Xena shut down production.

Artfldgr said...

Finally feminists achieve equality for da fat chicks on broadway after their brilliant coupe on Spains runways this past fall.

Artfldgr said...

each year they get closer to the floor while they take longer to settle

Viking04 said...

SHE BREEEACCCHHEESSS!

Mr. Starbuck, lower the boats.

metalgarth said...

Russ Meyer was never hired as a "pyrotechnic artist" ever again

sixdegreesofblondness said...

Do my gigantic bovine tits make my butt look fat?

dub said...

I turned it on, but the Futurama, it does nothing.

Adriane said...

Fat bottomed girls, you make the ... OK, fat bottomed & really busty girls, you make the ... OK, OK, fat bottomed & really busty virgins, every one of them & especially Helga - you make the rockin' world go round!

Whacko said...

It took a heavy-duty rough-terrain fork lift to break the suction.

Whacko said...

Just another gay transvestite night at Disney World.

Submariner said...

Dammit Whacko - you took my first thought, but I was going to go with a "tree spade..."

Submariner said...

Say whatever you want, but she's still about a dozen times as patriotic as Pelosi.

Submariner said...

Call me Ishmael...

Submariner said...

Help; I've fallen and I can't get up!

Submariner said...

It was at that fateful moment that Margie realized how right the doctor has been when he warned her that "...one day, your weight and gravity will overcome your hip sockets."

Submariner said...

Thought bubble: "Note to self - get a bigger midget to catch me when I leap."

Jack Reacher said...

"I hope Perez Hilton likes my routine. We use the same eyeliner."

Jack Reacher said...

Production of new NEA projects accelerates dramatically during the Obama years.

prince of leaves said...

1986: "Boudoir weaaaarrrrr!" The Soviet Union's 'Glasnost in the Bedroom' traveling lingerie exhibition closes quietly after the first night in London.

prince of leaves said...

"Welcome to Wanda's Ugly Truth: the large-woman's alternative to Victoria's Secret!"

prince of leaves said...

Forgotten in the coverage of the more famous flipper babies was the spectrum of other limb deformities caused by Thalidomide.

Van Helsing said...

"No no! I can get up without the winch! Just give me a minute!"

Submariner said...

Doesn't look like it's shaping up to be a good leap; "Oh boy..."

Submariner said...

SOTG; you promised you'd help me up. SOTG! SOTG? Anyone? Anyone?

dadoctah said...

It's just a shame Ed Sullivan died before he got to see this.

Kaptain Krude said...

How Perez Hilton saw Miss California.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Full splits or outright geological fault? Only her geologist knows for sure...

mpur said...

It gets worse. There is actually two women in this photo.

mega said...

Would someone puhleeze tell Megan McCain to stop being such an attention whore?

mega said...

Government selection of Car Show Babes, based on union tenure, were just part of the newly-restructured auto industry.

mega said...

Miss America 2010 was, in truth, not a classic beauty. But her enlightened, tolerant answer on human-animal sex relationships won broad support among the judges.

Oiao said...

I can not think of anything funny about this, so I will say nothing.

mega said...

Sharon Stone's dazzling new one-woman Vegas show featured a combination of fireworks, elaborate sets, and ugly, old cooch.

divine miss m said...

Sadly, Christie Allie was never as popular as her younger sister, Kirstie.

paul said...

And next on Britain's got Talent....

Oiao said...

Nice 'yams', but I'm not sure which end I am talking about.

Julie the Jarhead said...

You think that's horrible -- I accidentally clicked on the picture and got a full size version. Aaaaargh!

dadoctah said...

In a figurative sense *only*, the early 90s were lean years for Miss Bertinelli's career.

Rich Bateman said...

Hey...I have that outfit!

Oiao said...

Mom! Get off the stage!

Anonymous said...

Pasties with a tie...is she mad???

jbinnout said...

Euro-Disney holds tryouts for "So You Think You Can Dance."

Oiao said...

As the demographics of an aging US society progressed, so too did the marketing strategy for Hooters.

champaignken said...

Introducing...the next Associate Justice on the US Supreme Court.

Mr. Hankey said...

Let's just throw it on the wall and see what stickes.

Julie the Jarhead said...

Sloppy seconds -- and thirds and fourths and fifths.

Submariner said...

Talk about your "Urban Assault Vehicle..."

Mr. Hankey said...

2020 - Kim Kardashian's decision to star in the remake of "Striptease" was the final straw that killed her once promising career.

Mr. Hankey said...

Immediately, the vetting of Sonia Sotomayor comes into question.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Where Muppet Babies come from.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I don't think I have enough flour in-house.

Anonymous said...

Legs ain't gonna help. She will still leave slug trails.

molson said...

Bootyquake! The world tour.

Mr. Hankey said...

Britney Spears' next comeback isn't expected to be as successful.

Matt the K said...

THIS is the reason London Bridge fell down.

jeff said...

... and they never saw Dub again.

Double the U said...

...and it's called "The Aristocrats!

jeff said...

"So I lost a pasty - whatcha gonna do - call the FCC?"

Matt the K said...

They always celebrate like this in London whenever the Princess of Whales is in town.

Army of Dad said...

Where will you be when your hip dislocates?