Monday, May 18, 2009

Go Fish

Brender
1. So far, his strategy of driving the innovative players out of business and producing inferior, bug-ridden copies of their hands was working well in the World Series of Poker.

2. "I've got four queens... but enough about the Microsoft marketing department."

3. "Too bad. You wagered your soul. See you in hell."

4. ORA: "You know the rules to 'Cripple Mr. Onion?' Dammit, Gates, you are the nerd to end all nerds."

5. "Magic, the Gathering. All you need is a brain, a deck, and a ... oh, crap!"

Best of GregMan
"I bet Steve Jobs that no one would notice that Windows was crap. What makes you think you can bluff me with a bare King showing?"

Best of mklasing
Upon realizing he was definitely going to win, Mr. Gates gave a nervous glance at the shotgun sitting next to Dick Cheney.

Best of metalgarth
WTF? Does the world really need another 'Revenge of the Nerds' movie?

Best of Submariner
Bill; "Square, Water, Star, Square... Golly, this isn't hard at all!"
Dick; "That's because the OTHER person normally looks at the card faces, Schmuck."

Best of Viking04
Bill Gates, secretly a Centauri spy, used his tentacle-like sexual organs to cheat at cards.

Best of Jay Guevara
"I've got 12 aces. What've you got?"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Holding his cards close to his chest, a coked-up Bill soon knew that he would be losing his underwear to Barney.

Best of dub
I'll call your "wide stance" and raise you....wait....what???

Best of jeff
"You realize what the odds of drawing to an inside straight are, right? I've calculated all of them."

28 comments:

GregMan said...

"Quality Control? What's that?"

GregMan said...

"...and then there was this one time in elementary school when the nurse poked around in my shorts in front of all the teachers..."

GregMan said...

"No, my incredibly hot wife who used to work for me married me for love, not money. Why won't you stop laughing?"

GregMan said...

"I bet Steve Jobs that no one would notice that Windows was crap. What makes you think you can bluff me with a bare King showing?"

GregMan said...

Where will you be when your copy of Vista crashes?

mklasing said...

Upon realizing he was definitely going to win, Mr. Gates gave a nervous glance at the shotgun sitting next to Dick Cheney.

Mr. Hankey said...

Playing "Old Nerd"

dub said...

"I have a King high flush. What do you have?"

"Enough money to buy your entire family 1,000 times."


"Asshole."

Submariner said...

I'll see your $250K and raise you, uh, how about Seattle?

metalgarth said...

The visuals for "Hearts" on Windows 7 will be mind blowing, but let's see if anyone can play more than 2 hands before tossing their cookies.

metalgarth said...

WTF? Does the world really need another 'Revenge of the Nerds' movie?

Submariner said...

Bill; "Square, Water, Star, Square... Golly, this isn't hard at all!"
Dick; "That's because the OTHER person normally looks at the card faces, Schmuck."

Submariner said...

STRIP POKER; UR DOIN IT RONG

Submariner said...

I'd observe they looked like they're playing Old Maid but I don't like to be redundant...

Submariner said...

Put the cork back on your fork tines, Rupert...

Rodney Dill said...

"Are you wearing Conquistadors"?

Rodney Dill said...

"Go Phish!"

Viking04 said...

Bill Gates, secretly a Centauri spy, used his tentacle-like sexual organs to cheat at cards.

Jay Guevara said...

"I'll see your California and raise you Nicaragua."

flyovercountry said...

Look Buffett, we have more money than God, lets say we buy Congress and really show the country socialism.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bill's nickname is "Samoyed" -
not because he's furry and has fleas, but because one beady eye is black and his other is a tiny blue screen of death.

-OR-

Rationalizations of the Idle Rich & FamousBillie bought the Mona Lisa just so's he could practice mimicking her enigmatic smile during games of Go Fish at Monte Carlo.

-OR-

When you're #2, you do sh*tty things... Pepsi execs paid a photoshop-proficient hacker to tinker with that Coke label. It now reads - "Tobacco Spit"

Jay Guevara said...

"I've got 12 aces. What've you got?"

Mr. Hankey said...

Holding his cards close to his chest, a coked-up Bill soon knew that he would be losing his underwear to Barney.

dub said...

I'll call your "wide stance" and raise you....wait....what???

Matt the K said...

"Whose face is on the cards-- huh? Huh?!!
My cards, my game, bitch."

jeff said...

"You realize what the odds of drawing to an inside straight are, right? I've calculated all of them."

mpur said...

Rupert wondered how long it would take for someone to reboot Bill after it became obvious he had locked up.

dub said...

Guy in foreground: "I have trip-7's. What do you have?"

Gates: "110100101001010110111000011101"

Once again, Bill finds a way to suck the fun out of the ordinary.