Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Fellow on the Far Right Seems Way too Excited

Shorpy via Ward Cleaver


1. NAMBLA Instructional courses are now open to all ages and genders.

2.Kindergarten sex ed: UR Doin' it Wrong!

3. "Good marbling, no bruises... I'll give you $3.54 a pound."

4. When the stripper canceled at the last minute, it was up to six-year-old Billy to save his Mom's bachelorette party.

5. Being a kid stripper sucks. They only stuff pennies in your G-string.

Very Brady Best of prince of leaves
The other Phrenology 101 students tittered quietly to themselves at Margie's mistake.

Best of Double the U
You stand still young Mr. Barney Frank, this will be over in a minute and will have no affect on your life.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Nothing scars a young fellow for life like a woman measuring his tool with the short edge of a ruler!

Best of Submariner
Staff training days at Barney Frank Elementary were a might different than other schools...

Best of robert
Little Timmy never lived down his measurement by micrometer.

Best of Oiao
Confirmed in Hope Arkansas; A young William Clinton's member had a unique turn towards the left.

Best of Matt the K
The school nurse drags young Johnny Holmes into the St. Ignatius teacher's lounge to claim the prize on that 'friendly wager' they'd all made.

Best of Jack Reacher
"You're going to have to hold your hips still, Mr. Perez Hilton. And please stop humming while I measure."

Best of metalgarth
WORST. LEAVE IT TO BEAVER. EVER.

Best of Mr Hankey
The point in the movie where the bass guitar starts to thump.

Best of Chrees
"Jew!! Next!"

Best of GregMan
"It's freshly cut, all right. Price him at $7.99."

Best of Matt the K
"Stevie Austin, ankle-biter. A kiddo barely five. Cats and Chicks, we can rebuild him. We have the technology, Daddio. We have the capability to build the world's first Atomic Boy. Stevie Austin will be that boy. Bosser than he was before. Keener, Ca-razier, more neato."

Best of Matt the K
Little Timmy wondered..."What the hell kind of Shop Class IS this, anyway??"

45 comments:

Double the U said...

You stand still young Mr. Barney Frank, this will be over in a minute and will have no affect on your life.

Double the U said...

A young John Holmes gets tested for his possible career choices.

dadoctah said...

An early turning point in the life of Ashton Kutcher.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Nothing scars a young fellow for life like a woman measuring his tool with the short edge of a ruler!

-OR-

First photo of future porn star John Holmes. When the kid dropped trow, the woman dropped her ruler, the photographer dropped the camera, the female observers fainted, and the stunned male observers never quite recovered from feelings of inadequacy.

Submariner said...

Staff training days at Barney Frank Elementary were a might different than other schools...

Submariner said...

Waist - 14"
Inseam - 18"
Jock - ummmm - just put down "unnecessary..."

robert said...

Little Timmy never lived down his measurement by micrometer.

The instruments were little more than a cover for a bunch of pervs who like to look at little boys.

prince of leaves said...

The other Phrenology 101 students tittered quietly to themselves at Margie's mistake.

prince of leaves said...

"Damn, this is a tough one...I think we're going to need to break out the hedge clippers." Bedside manner wasn't the only reason Margie failed the circumcision class.

Oiao said...

Confirmed in Hope Arkansas; A young William Clinton's member had a unique turn towards the left.

Matt the K said...

Dammit, beat to the John Holmes jokes, but hell with it:

The school nurse drags young Johnny Holmes into the St. Ignatius teacher's lounge to claim the prize on that 'friendly wager' they'd all made.

Matt the K said...

ORA: It was mere moments after the photo was taken that Fred Garvin attempted his first 'Snake' manouver...The seduction of Mrs. Johnson was then complete.

Matt the K said...

For Mrs. Jones, it was always easier to give speeches when she pictured her students in their underwear.

Matt the K said...

Cursed with a poor imagination, Mrs. Jones singles out Billy for the task.

Matt the K said...

Dammit Bobby! It's yellow in front, brown in back!!!

Matt the K said...

Gee Wally, Principal Johnson is NOT a creep! He said it was for nuclear fallout disinfection practice!


wv: humpubi

Matt the K said...

"And this one'll definitely be singing soprano".

Tryouts for the 9th Street Elementary Choir were especially humiliating.

Jack Reacher said...

Shamed beyond measure by the experience, young John Edwards vows revenge on the medical profession when he grows up.

Jack Reacher said...

"You're going to have to hold your hips still, Mr. Perez Hilton. And please stop humming while I measure."

ZACHARIEL - GAY ANGEL said...

"Now let me teach you how to dress on the left"

Submariner said...

Billy's teachers always liked to watch when his "Auntie" kissed him goodbye at school.

Submariner said...

Ms. Letourneau shows the other faculty the newest class discipline techniques she learned at Clinton Community College over the Spring Break.

metalgarth said...

WORST. LEAVE IT TO BEAVER. EVER.

Mr Hankey said...

Masters and Johnson determine average penis size in white males.

Mr Hankey said...

The point in the movie where the bass guitar starts to thump.

Submariner said...

Boom chicka wow-wow...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

'scuze me whilst I whips this out...

Chrees said...

"Jew!! Next!"

Chrees said...

"Think of England...think of England...oh no...."

Kaptain Krude said...

Yeah, so what? Just another day of penis measuring in Allisonville.

GregMan said...

"This one will be pretty hard on the beaver when he grows up."

GregMan said...

Back in the days before Internet p0rn, a kid had to get his jollies where he could.

GregMan said...

"It's freshly cut, all right. Price him at $7.99."

Mr. Hankey said...

Industrial Espionage Failuer - Keebler scientists attempt to find the origin of Twinkees creamy white filling when suddenly everything starts to go terribly wrong.

dub said...

"2 inches is pretty good, right lady?"

After her upsetting response, a yound AOD would never be the same.

Matt the K said...

Little Timmy wondered..."What the hell kind of Shop Class IS this, anyway??"

Matt the K said...

Opening montage for the Six Thousand Dollar Boy:

"Stevie Austin, ankle-biter. A kiddo barely five. Cats and Chicks, we can rebuild him. We have the technology, Daddio. We have the capability to build the world's first Atomic Boy. Stevie Austin will be that boy. Bosser than he was before. Keener, Ca-razier, more neato."

Jay Guevara said...

"Let's see...no nads. Right. Get over in the Democrat line."

Rodney Dill said...

"SHRINKAGE!"

dub said...

Matt the K said...
Little Timmy wondered..."What the hell kind of Shop Class IS this, anyway??"



Ha ha....bravo!

jeff said...

The explanation for many of the problems the Kennedy clan has experienced through the years.

Mr. Hankey said...

During their last marriage encounter class, the troubled couples watched as Marion placed the 10 inch extension on her husband. The women smiled, seeing the solution to their underlying issues.

mpur said...

The "I'm a Little Teapot" auditions got a little weird after 7 straight hours.

Submariner said...

Say whatever you want but Ms., uh, Mr., uh, Barney sure does the most thorough short arm inspection of all the staff.