Monday, May 18, 2009

Children! Delicious Children!

Brender
1. Children of the Federation entertain the Klingon ambassador with folk dances. Later, their hearts are served roasted on a spit.

2. When little Bellatrix started levitating in mid Spiral Dance, the coven knew the Dark Lord was pleased.

3. Marion Barry Elementary School was so progressive, it had posters on the wall showing white kids demonstrating the correct method for smoking crack.

4. The thought that every little cracker in the room would have $150,000 in public debt hanging over their heads by the time her husband finished his term openly delighted the First Lady.

5. Ignore the white girl. Ignore the white girl. Ignore... Look, white girl, I'm ignoring you... Ignore the white girl.

Best of Mr. Hankey
In an updated version of Hans Christian Andersen's 'Red Shoes", the young girl is unable to stop dancing until her entire family pays pennance to the woman of the Obamassiah.

Best of dub
"Teacher!! Oprah is taking up two chairs!!"

Best of curly
After dancing, the children took turns playing ‘hide and seek’ in Michelle’s shoes.

Best of Julie the Jarhead
Christine watched fearfully, knowing Mommie Dearest could blow a gasket at any second.

Best of Viking04
M. Obama took the opportunity to practice her future role as Empress of Meximerada.

Best of metalgarth
Spock Jr, being sitting in the back row as usual, knew he had about 3 seconds to execute a neck pinch on the Klingon in the 1st row or else Lil Uhura would never respect him.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah, now we're gettin' some dancin', now that I made that little honky b!tch sit down!"

Best of GregMan
Sasaquatch visits local kindergarten, film at 11.

Best of Submariner
The day the Grim Reaper visited Bella Abzug Elementary...

Best of dadoctah
So *this* is what happens with "Dancing with the Stars" meets NAFTA.

32 comments:

mklasing said...

Thought bubble: "I could buy these cute little Mexicans and their families with what I paid for these shoes."

Mr. Hankey said...

In an updated version of Hans Christian Andersen's 'Red Shoes", the young girl is unable to stop dancing until her entire family pays pennance to the woman of the Obamassiah.

dub said...

"Teacher!! Oprah is taking up two chairs!!"

dub said...

Even black people like to make fun of the Mexicans.

Submariner said...

Why's Casper sitting next to M'chel?

curly said...

“OK, everybody sing this time.
♫ Oh I hate America and all it’s white people ♪”

Submariner said...

Swing your Beaner, do-si-doh!

curly said...

After dancing, the children took turns playing ‘hide and seek’ in Michelle’s shoes.

curly said...

Michelle felt very comfortable in celebrating the Queefo de Mayo.

dub said...

The school festival was going great, until Teddy Danson Jr. came out in blackface.

Matt the K said...

Bravo! V the K scores a 5/5!

Julie the Jarhead said...

Christine watched fearfully, knowing Mommie Dearest could blow a gasket at any second.

Viking04 said...

M. Obama took the opportunity to practice her future role as Empress of Meximerada.

dadoctah said...

"...and once the dancing is over, the Drew Barrymore lookalike behind me is going to find out what the life of a piƱata is like."

mpur said...

At least little Maria had the good sense not to wear $500 shoes to a "commoner" event.

mpur said...

Little Susie "Token" Smith doesn't seem to be enjoying the event.

metalgarth said...

Spock Jr, being sitting in the back row as usual, knew he had about 3 seconds to execute a neck pinch on the Klingon in the 1st row or else Lil Uhura would never respect him.

Matt the K said...

Put down the bong, Garth.

flyovercountry said...

Aren't these children cute? It's good they don't realize that by the time they are adults, the life that their dads and moms came to America seeking, will no longer exist and they just as well had stayed in Mexico, thanks to my husband.

Yes, I am finally proud of America.

flyovercountry said...

Obama thought bubble:

If I get the Swine Flu, I'm going to have my husband deport all these Mexicans, radical liberal or not.

Jay Guevara said...

"Yeah, now we're gettin' some dancin', now that I made that little honky b!tch sit down!"

Double the U said...

Swing your partner round and round,
drag America to the ground.
Mexican, African and minorities,
get your health care for absolutely free.

GregMan said...

"They're not Amerikkkan! Aren't they wonderful?"

GregMan said...

Sasaquatch visits local kindergarten, film at 11.

GregMan said...

Nice to see they have a token white girl. Affirmative action must work after all.

GregMan said...

...and then, as the doomed children started dancing faster and faster in wierd, non-euclidean patterns, obscene piping sounds were heard from the stone monoliths, and Mrs. Obama began chanting, "Ia, Ia, Cthulhu fhtagn!"

Mr. Hankey said...

As Michelle throws the child in front of her & wipes the blood from her hands, she shrieks "ooba gabba wonga" and grabs the next beastky offering.

ochagirl said...

"Senora Obamah! We will play this song in your honor!"

"Very nice! Catchy! What's it called?"

"La Cucaracha, Senora."

mklasing said...

Everything was festive until the white girl commented that if they spin fast enough they will turn to butter just like little Sambo's tigers did.

Submariner said...

Casper's thought bubble; "I thought the dinosaur was supposed to be a big purple plushy and love EVERYbody?"

Submariner said...

The day the Grim Reaper visited Bella Abzug Elementary...

dadoctah said...

So *this* is what happens with "Dancing with the Stars" meets NAFTA.