Saturday, May 23, 2009

Boneheads

Shorpy

1. An ACORN employee fills out voter registrations for Mr. T. Bone, Mr. Mr. Cray Nium, Mr. Jolly Roger, and Miss Ida Needham-Bodie... all of Chicago, all registering as Democrats.

2. During his days as a research assistant at the Museum of Natural History, a younger Barney Frank kept a mannequin of a young boy around for purposes he never explained to the rest of the staff.

3. "This will be the best juggling act ever."

4. ORA: An intern for Congressman Benjamin Sinclair conducts research for the Ocular Penetration Restriction Act of 2007.

5. "This is either an Australopithecus or a member of Larry O'Donnell's extended family."

Best of mpur
Dr. Frankenstein learned that he had to be very specific when requesting sexual favors from Igor.

Best of Paul
What REALLY happens to those who get voted off of the island...

Best of Silhouette
Hell's bowling alley

Best of Silhouette
Thought bubble: "I always thought scullery maid meant something else."

Best of mega
Following up on his huge Ida hoax, Bill prepared his next batch of "links".

Best of mega
"It wants food? No, not today." Buffalo Bill continued to torment his victims in the cellar, long after it ceased to matter.

Best of Viking04
Preparing to build a 'Throne of Skulls' to satisfy Michelle's inner Klingon.

Best of Oiao
Obama Adiminstration 'Chief Scientist' using archived skulls from Stalin era to determine where best to place the coming round of bullets into the living heads of Financial and Automotive CEOs' as well as all small businessmen. Report due on Thursday.

Best of GregMan
In 2247, after the radioactivity died down somewhat, archaeologists study what was left of South Korea, and decide it was all Bush's fault.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Late one night whilst working in his father's mortuary, Hannibal got his first powerful craving for sweetbread. By morning, 17 families would be informed that they really shouldn't oughtta plan on open casket ceremonies for their dearly beloved.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Things were more Black & White for the CSI team in the olden days.

Best of WhoopsieDaisey
Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo...

37 comments:

mpur said...

"The head bone's connected to the...dammit I never can remember that song!"

mpur said...

Dr. Frankenstein learned that he had to be very specific when requesting sexual favors from Igor.

prince of leaves said...

The coroner was amazed - he'd heard of people having their heads up their asses, but the body that came in impaled through the throat had had 23 of them.

prince of leaves said...

Obvious Cap #9394672-4: "Alas, poor Yorick..."

dadoctah said...

"A few more tokens rest
Within my treasure chest
And though they do their best
To give me consolation

I count them all apart
And as the teardrops start
I find a broken heart
Among my souvenirs"

Paul said...

What REALLY happens to those who get voted off of the island...

Silhouette said...

Hell's bowling alley

Silhouette said...

Thought bubble: "I always thought scullery maid meant something else."

mega said...

Bitterly, Republicans realized that not one - not ONE - of their own had yet returned from an Obama road or bridge crew.

mega said...

"Hmmm....how can we tax these?"

curly said...

The entrepreneurial Bill knew that Nancy Pelosi masks would be a hot seller this coming Halloween.

mega said...

Following up on his huge Ida hoax, Bill prepared his next batch of "links".

mega said...

"It wants food? No, not today." Bill continued to torment his victims in the cellar, long after it ceased to matter.

Submariner said...

Nothin' ta be seein' here, folks.; jist a member of the Harvard Sculling Team preppin' fer their match with Yale. Please ta be movin' along, now...


more proof that the v-word generator has become sentient; examit

Submariner said...

"Not this one either, still a little on it..."

Dub continues his quest for the "perfect woman" as defined by 0.00000% body fat.

Submariner said...

What a bunch of boneheads...

Submariner said...

Well, yes, Mr. Dahmer; this IS quite a collection, but... you see... we, uh, don't usually... that is... Have you considered donating it to the Borneo Musuem?

Viking04 said...

Preparing to build a 'Throne of Skulls' to satisfy Michelle's inner Klingon.

Jack Reacher said...

Oliver Stone's research for "JFK" was both thorough and irrelevant.

Jack Reacher said...

Herbert examines the remains of those who'd said "I need that like I need a hole in the head," and reaches a surprising conclusion.

Mr. Hankey said...

Professor Cooper always giggled when he told his colleagues that he was going back to the lab for a little head.

Submariner said...

Apparently, Mr. Geer (background) has graduated from gerbils...

Oiao said...

Obama Adiminstration 'Chief Scientist' using archived skulls from Stalin era to determine where best to place the coming round of bullets into the living heads of Financial and Automotive CEOs' as well as all small businessmen.

Report due on Thursday.

mega said...

A broad-based academic study of RINOs uncovered that over 90 % had been lobotomized.

Rodney Dill said...

Eventually Ned's mother came to regret encouraging Ned, all those years, to get ahead in life.

GregMan said...

"Heavy jaw with large teeth for ripping raw flesh off of bones, prominent brow ridges, small cranial capacity... this is either the skull of a Klingon or one of Mu-chelle's ancestors."

GregMan said...

In 2247, after the radioactivity died down somewhat, archaeologists study what was left of South Korea, and decide it was all Bush's fault.

GregMan said...

The White House kitchen readies drinking goblets made from the skulls of The Obamessiah's enemies for the weekly White House cocktail party.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Late one night whilst working in his father's mortuary, Hannibal got his first powerful craving for sweetbread. By morning, 17 families would be informed that they really shouldn't oughtta plan on open casket ceremonies for their dearly beloved.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

At last, the young Inspector Clouseau thought he'd cracked the case! Every victim must have come from the same family... a family that had no noses.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Manny knew he was a dinosaur, that his job as the last human pin spotter was in jeopardy, but good grief... Bowl America's financial problems must be a lot worse than he'd heard! No amount of polish could put a good spin on these balls.

-OR-

Conan O'Brien pauses at the NBC Late Night TV Host Crypt before his debut. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling that this night would not end well.

Mr. Hankey said...

Things were more Black & White for the CSI team in the olden days.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo...

Matt the K said...

Mortimer was confounded by these new-fangled Talking Pictures; no matter how he arranged his skulls, he could never duplicate those lovely xylophone numbers he'd seen at The Bijou.

molson said...

After a number of failed experiments, Dr. Von Brainiac decided that a pike was not an effective human restraining device if you wanted the human to survive the restraining.

Matt the K said...

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him... wait, that's not Yorick! Dammit, honey, what did you do with my Yorick?!"

Mrs. Hamlet gets in trouble once again.

dadoctah said...

Scott Peterson meets eHarmony.