1. An ACORN employee fills out voter registrations for Mr. T. Bone, Mr. Mr. Cray Nium, Mr. Jolly Roger, and Miss Ida Needham-Bodie... all of Chicago, all registering as Democrats.
2. During his days as a research assistant at the Museum of Natural History, a younger Barney Frank kept a mannequin of a young boy around for purposes he never explained to the rest of the staff.
3. "This will be the best juggling act ever."
4. ORA: An intern for Congressman Benjamin Sinclair conducts research for the Ocular Penetration Restriction Act of 2007.
5. "This is either an Australopithecus or a member of Larry O'Donnell's extended family."
Best of mpur
Dr. Frankenstein learned that he had to be very specific when requesting sexual favors from Igor.
Best of Paul
What REALLY happens to those who get voted off of the island...
Best of Silhouette
Hell's bowling alley
Best of Silhouette
Thought bubble: "I always thought scullery maid meant something else."
Best of mega
Following up on his huge Ida hoax, Bill prepared his next batch of "links".
Best of mega
"It wants food? No, not today." Buffalo Bill continued to torment his victims in the cellar, long after it ceased to matter.
Best of Viking04
Preparing to build a 'Throne of Skulls' to satisfy Michelle's inner Klingon.
Best of Oiao
Obama Adiminstration 'Chief Scientist' using archived skulls from Stalin era to determine where best to place the coming round of bullets into the living heads of Financial and Automotive CEOs' as well as all small businessmen. Report due on Thursday.
Best of GregMan
In 2247, after the radioactivity died down somewhat, archaeologists study what was left of South Korea, and decide it was all Bush's fault.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Late one night whilst working in his father's mortuary, Hannibal got his first powerful craving for sweetbread. By morning, 17 families would be informed that they really shouldn't oughtta plan on open casket ceremonies for their dearly beloved.
Best of Mr. Hankey
Things were more Black & White for the CSI team in the olden days.
Best of WhoopsieDaisey
Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo...
37 comments:
"The head bone's connected to the...dammit I never can remember that song!"
Dr. Frankenstein learned that he had to be very specific when requesting sexual favors from Igor.
The coroner was amazed - he'd heard of people having their heads up their asses, but the body that came in impaled through the throat had had 23 of them.
Obvious Cap #9394672-4: "Alas, poor Yorick..."
"A few more tokens rest
Within my treasure chest
And though they do their best
To give me consolation
I count them all apart
And as the teardrops start
I find a broken heart
Among my souvenirs"
What REALLY happens to those who get voted off of the island...
Hell's bowling alley
Thought bubble: "I always thought scullery maid meant something else."
Bitterly, Republicans realized that not one - not ONE - of their own had yet returned from an Obama road or bridge crew.
"Hmmm....how can we tax these?"
The entrepreneurial Bill knew that Nancy Pelosi masks would be a hot seller this coming Halloween.
Following up on his huge Ida hoax, Bill prepared his next batch of "links".
"It wants food? No, not today." Bill continued to torment his victims in the cellar, long after it ceased to matter.
Nothin' ta be seein' here, folks.; jist a member of the Harvard Sculling Team preppin' fer their match with Yale. Please ta be movin' along, now...
more proof that the v-word generator has become sentient; examit
"Not this one either, still a little on it..."
Dub continues his quest for the "perfect woman" as defined by 0.00000% body fat.
What a bunch of boneheads...
Well, yes, Mr. Dahmer; this IS quite a collection, but... you see... we, uh, don't usually... that is... Have you considered donating it to the Borneo Musuem?
Preparing to build a 'Throne of Skulls' to satisfy Michelle's inner Klingon.
Oliver Stone's research for "JFK" was both thorough and irrelevant.
Herbert examines the remains of those who'd said "I need that like I need a hole in the head," and reaches a surprising conclusion.
Professor Cooper always giggled when he told his colleagues that he was going back to the lab for a little head.
Apparently, Mr. Geer (background) has graduated from gerbils...
Obama Adiminstration 'Chief Scientist' using archived skulls from Stalin era to determine where best to place the coming round of bullets into the living heads of Financial and Automotive CEOs' as well as all small businessmen.
Report due on Thursday.
A broad-based academic study of RINOs uncovered that over 90 % had been lobotomized.
Eventually Ned's mother came to regret encouraging Ned, all those years, to get ahead in life.
"Heavy jaw with large teeth for ripping raw flesh off of bones, prominent brow ridges, small cranial capacity... this is either the skull of a Klingon or one of Mu-chelle's ancestors."
In 2247, after the radioactivity died down somewhat, archaeologists study what was left of South Korea, and decide it was all Bush's fault.
The White House kitchen readies drinking goblets made from the skulls of The Obamessiah's enemies for the weekly White House cocktail party.
Late one night whilst working in his father's mortuary, Hannibal got his first powerful craving for sweetbread. By morning, 17 families would be informed that they really shouldn't oughtta plan on open casket ceremonies for their dearly beloved.
At last, the young Inspector Clouseau thought he'd cracked the case! Every victim must have come from the same family... a family that had no noses.
Manny knew he was a dinosaur, that his job as the last human pin spotter was in jeopardy, but good grief... Bowl America's financial problems must be a lot worse than he'd heard! No amount of polish could put a good spin on these balls.
-OR-
Conan O'Brien pauses at the NBC Late Night TV Host Crypt before his debut. He couldn't shake the nagging feeling that this night would not end well.
Things were more Black & White for the CSI team in the olden days.
Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo Garcia? Nope; Alfredo...
Mortimer was confounded by these new-fangled Talking Pictures; no matter how he arranged his skulls, he could never duplicate those lovely xylophone numbers he'd seen at The Bijou.
After a number of failed experiments, Dr. Von Brainiac decided that a pike was not an effective human restraining device if you wanted the human to survive the restraining.
"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him... wait, that's not Yorick! Dammit, honey, what did you do with my Yorick?!"
Mrs. Hamlet gets in trouble once again.
Scott Peterson meets eHarmony.
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