Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Waiting for the Lightworker

Brender

1. Three more kids dropped dead of swine flu just from looking at the 8:27 a.m. post.

2. Two hours into Obama's speech... "... and then, on the 4th day of my administration."

3. Little noticed in the hype of the "Swine Flu Epidemic," numerous outbreaks of "Grasping Ennui."

4. Due to a Teleprompter glitch, Chairman Zero's audience was forced to listen to him repeat the phrase "System Reset" with great conviction over and over again for forty-five minutes.

5. "This is lamest 'Lesbian Wedding Field Trip' yet."

Best of Jay Guevara
Kid with flag over his face: "God, never ask Obama a question that he has to answer off the cuff!"

Best of flyovercountry
The kids didn't really understand why their parents gave them American and Mexican flags to wave at the Obama speech, but the parents understood that within four years, it will be just like living in Mexico.

Best of Jack Reacher
The boys suddenly realized that they each bore $83,000 of the national debt.

Best of dadoctah
"Hey, I know what let's do! Let's go beat up on some Canadian kids!"

Best of GregMan
What the hell, just buzz 'em with Air Force One. That'll wake the little bastards up.

Best of Silhouette
Maybe international competitive knitting wasn't the best choice for a spectator sport.

Best of mpur
Oh, man! Are you seriously telling us that all it takes to close the border with Mexico is a velvet rope?

Best of Army of Mom
Dude, this X you scored for us is awesome. This rope is sooooooo soft!

Best of Matt the K
After the latest failed ad campaign, the Mexico Department of Tourism begrudgingly decided to portray the siesta crowd in the traditional pancho and sombrero getups.

Best of mega
"....and I need you to go out and get in their faces, and when you see those bitter right wing flag-wavers, glue their heads to the nearest rope-line, and..."

29 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

Huffington Post readers are desolate and directionless when the HuffPo servers go down.

Wait, they are holding AMERICAN flags. Never mind.

Veeshir said...

Due to a Teleprompter glitch, Chairman Zero's audience was forced to listen to him repeat the phrase "System Reset" with great conviction over and over again for forty-five minutes.I can totally see that happening.

Jay Guevara said...

Kid with flag over his face: "God, never ask Obama a question that he has to answer off the cuff!"

Rodney Dill said...

First One Hundred Days.... Fail

Double the U said...

Hey you said this was going to be a cool concert, it is just another Obama speech!

flyovercountry said...

The kids didn't really understand why their parents gave them American and Mexican flags to wave at the Obama speech, but the parents understood that within four years, it will be just like living in Mexico.

flyovercountry said...

Kid with flag over head thought bubble:

Even I knew not to vote for Obama, and I'm only 13.

Viking04 said...

Juan!

Licorice!

Oiao said...

"Oh shit, we white! Lookout, no future from him."

Jack Reacher said...

The boys suddenly realized that they each bore $83,000 of the national debt.

Jack Reacher said...

"This is so lame. I could be home watching Garofalo on 24."

dadoctah said...

"Hey, I know what let's do! Let's go beat up on some Canadian kids!"

GregMan said...

I see Barney Frank has some new interns.

GregMan said...

Since this is an Obambi event, the Mexican flags are for waving, and the U.S. flags are for burning.

GregMan said...

What the hell, just buzz 'em with Air Force One. That'll wake the little bastards up.

Silhouette said...

Maybe international competitive knitting wasn't the best choice for a spectator sport.

CO of Fort Housewife said...

"Geez, Dad, do you have to embarass me again? That sick intercourse V the K already put your picture on the Internet on Tuesday's Caption This!"

Mr. Hankey said...

Congress finally agreed on a suitable fence for the Mexican border. The Mexicans are banging their heads on it trying to figure out a way through.

mklasing said...

Obama reveals his swine flu containment fence: FAIL

mpur said...

Oh, man! Are you seriously telling us that all it takes to close the border with Mexico is a velvet rope?

Army of Mom said...

Dude, this X you scored for us is awesome. This rope is sooooooo soft!

Army of Mom said...

I think I can see my house from here!

Army of Mom said...

Event organizers realized their mistake of serving bean burritos for lunch when several children fainted after the fumes from Father Mulhoney's farts wafted their way.

Army of Mom said...

The auditions for Mary Kay LeTourneau's newest students left the boys worn out and spent.

Tonie Auer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Dad said...

The One was really knocking them dead on his Mexico trip.

Matt the K said...

The album cover for Menudo's new Who tribute, "Los Ninos Are Alright".

Matt the K said...

After the latest failed ad campaign, the Mexico Department of Tourism begrudgingly decided to portray the siesta crowd in the traditional pancho and sombrero getups.

mega said...

"....and I need you to go out and get in their faces, and when you see those bitter right wing flag-wavers, glue their heads to the nearest rope-line, and..."