1. Just when the judges thought it couldn't get worse, he announced his song choice was "I'm a Little Teapot."
2. Burt cruised to an easy victory when he answer Perez Hilton's question about his position on gay marriage with, "Meet my in my dressing room and I'll show it to you."
3. The runner-up in the How Big Is Hillary's Ass competition was beaten out by a Lowland gorilla with Marfan's Syndrome.
4. *That* Jean-Luc Picard simply said to the Cardassians, "Four lights, five lights, who cares? Introduce me to that magnificent stud in the red and white speedos and I'll tell you whatever you want to know."
5. If it happens at GITMO, it's torture. When it happens in front of a national broadcast audience, it's entertainment. I just don't get the left.
Best of CO of Fort Housewife
"Are you not entertained?"
*throws down sword*
Best of Capt. Queeg
"♫ I dreamed a dreeeaaamm..♫" - Folsom Street's Got Talent
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Yeah, I'm a flasher, so what? My son's a Bergen County Sheriff!
Best of metalgarth
Watch me pull a rabbit out of my...
Best of molson
Mein eyes! They burn!
Best of Andy
"I AM, I SAID! I AM, SAID I!"
Best of dadoctah
Everyone was a little surprised when they found out the direction Susan Boyle's makeover had taken.
Best of racerboy
"It's really easy, you can all sing along if you want. 'So I saaaay I gotta be freeee....So I say I gotta be meeeeee!'"
Best of robert
♫ I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity. Any girl who isn't me tonight...♫
Best of Jack Reacher
Organizers tried everything to increase attendance at Bingo Night, including semi-clad number-callers.
Best of mega
Sure, there was a time when Steyn could grab the mic and talk about global jihad and instantly get everyone's attention, without the stripping part.
Best of Matt the K
Chuck Norris has *really* let himself go.
Best of Kaptain Krude
Principal Littlefield really hated losing those bets made by his students. This one, however, made him feel strangely... liberated.
Best of Adjustah
Please. Please. Please. Would somebody turn on Futurama?
39 comments:
"Are you not entertained?"
*throws down sword*
"♫ I dreamed a dreeeaaamm..♫" - Folsom Street's Got Talent
NBC's In Livid Color:
Welcome to my nightmare!
A bad economy forced televangelist Ishmael Blunt to hold a good vs evil telethon with believers voting with their pocketbooks. Does he drop trow or stay covered? Dial 1-800-555-GOOD or 1-800-666-EVIL. Standard text messaging rates apply.
Oh lordy, please don't let evil win.-OR-
Wardrobe Malfunction - u r doing it wrong!
WordVerify: suboodem - ghettospeak for "some of them"
Welcome to the party Senator Specter!!!
We're just like you!!!!
Yeah, I'm a flasher, so what? My son's a Bergen County Sheriff!
dub's performance of "I just gotta be me!" left a lot to be desired, like being fully clothed.
Watch me pull a rabbit out of my...
Mein eyes! They burn!
Dang, that sheriff looked better when I was drunk.
Bill was the national poster boy for inflamed crotch syndrome - and proud of it!!
I dont care what you guys say, I think he's dreamy.
Never, ever ask "where da white men at".
What happens in Carl's speedo stays in Carl's speedo.
Most people are disgusted by the self-mutilation of the Ellen Jamesians, but Carl is proud of the bloody mess.
Opening night of "John Wayne Bobbitt - The Musical" was the hit of Broadway.
"I AM, I SAID! I AM, SAID I!"
Everyone was a little surprised when they found out the direction Susan Boyle's makeover had taken.
Song and dunce man.
"It's really easy, you can all sing along if you want. 'So I saaaay I gotta be freeee....So I say I gotta be meeeeee!'"
♫ I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity. Any girl who isn't me tonight...♫
For another dollar, you get the full monty.
Nothing comes between me and my Calvins.
Abercrombie & Fitch - Now in Plus Sizes!
In Russia, jockstrep wears you!!
Organizers tried everything to increase attendance at Bingo Night, including semi-clad number-callers.
Patron in front row overheard whispering - "Looks like Ted's testicles finally descended... musta brought a lung and half his liver along with 'em."
WordVerify: bastry- generic term for mincemeat pies and blood puddings
Sure, there was a time when Steyn could grab the mic and talk about global jihad and instantly get everyone's attention, without the stripping part.
Presenting "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Banana Hammock"!
Chuck Norris has *really* let himself go.
Expectations of the Broadway set are low for the new Andrew Lloyd Weber show "Fatman Of The Opera".
Good to see the phantom Army of Dad/dub is back...how sad for you.
Principal Littlefield really hated losing those bets made by his students. This one, however, made him feel strangely... liberated.
Please. Please. Please. Would somebody turn on Futurama?
"I been corrected in Bergen County!"
(WV: bledisco)
"See... I shaved my legs and wreck'd 'em."
And you too can have a body like this. It only takes 2 minutes a day!
Ta-daaaaa...the source of the latest flu outbreak.
Tim instantly regretted telling Al to "Lose the flannel..."
♪Mammy; How I love ya, how I love ya, my dear ol' mammy!♪
Nothin' up my briefs;
Ta - DAAAAA!
I TOLD you there was nothin' up my briefs...
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