1. Just when the judges thought it couldn't get worse, he announced his song choice was "I'm a Little Teapot."
2. Burt cruised to an easy victory when he answer Perez Hilton's question about his position on gay marriage with, "Meet my in my dressing room and I'll show it to you."
3. The runner-up in the How Big Is Hillary's Ass competition was beaten out by a Lowland gorilla with Marfan's Syndrome.
4. *That* Jean-Luc Picard simply said to the Cardassians, "Four lights, five lights, who cares? Introduce me to that magnificent stud in the red and white speedos and I'll tell you whatever you want to know."
5. If it happens at GITMO, it's torture. When it happens in front of a national broadcast audience, it's entertainment. I just don't get the left.
Best of CO of Fort Housewife
"Are you not entertained?"
*throws down sword*
Best of Capt. Queeg
"♫ I dreamed a dreeeaaamm..♫" - Folsom Street's Got Talent
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Yeah, I'm a flasher, so what? My son's a Bergen County Sheriff!
Best of metalgarth
Watch me pull a rabbit out of my...
Best of molson
Mein eyes! They burn!
Best of Andy
"I AM, I SAID! I AM, SAID I!"
Best of dadoctah
Everyone was a little surprised when they found out the direction Susan Boyle's makeover had taken.
Best of racerboy
"It's really easy, you can all sing along if you want. 'So I saaaay I gotta be freeee....So I say I gotta be meeeeee!'"
Best of robert
♫ I feel pretty, Oh, so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity. Any girl who isn't me tonight...♫
Best of Jack Reacher
Organizers tried everything to increase attendance at Bingo Night, including semi-clad number-callers.
Best of mega
Sure, there was a time when Steyn could grab the mic and talk about global jihad and instantly get everyone's attention, without the stripping part.
Best of Matt the K
Chuck Norris has *really* let himself go.
Best of Kaptain Krude
Principal Littlefield really hated losing those bets made by his students. This one, however, made him feel strangely... liberated.
Best of Adjustah
Please. Please. Please. Would somebody turn on Futurama?