Monday, April 20, 2009

Secret Commie Handshake

Brender & Gregory of Yardale
1. "Wonder Commie Powers... Activate. Shape of: Hero of the Proletariat! Form of, Che Guevara!"

2. "Your hands are so soft, so feminine... you make me wet." The creepy part was how they said it in perfect unison.

3. "If you know a better way of exchanging long protein strands, I'd like to hear it."

4. "May I, um, jerk off your thumb. It's always been a, um, fantasy of mine."

5. "Thank you for shutting down domestic oil exploration, Comrade President. I didn't know *how* we were going to pay for all those revolutions we're financing throughout the hemisphere. You really saved my fat gigantic ass! Oh, and also thanks for the 'Ugly Betty Season 1 DVDs.'"


Best of dbar1918
Say, I've seen this documentary. When does President Hindenburg die?

Best of Viking04
Comrade, it could only be better if Anderson Cooper were here to be the pivot man.

Best of GregMan
Someone in the crowd yelled "Hey comrade!", and they both turned around and said "Yes?"

Best of Army of Dad
Hugo: "I have never been proud of your country before now!"

Best of curly
"President Obama! Let me shake the hand that shook the hand of Bill Ayers."

Best of flyovercountry
Congratulations Comrade Obama, less than 100 days in office and you are well on your way to ruining your great country. Of course, I ruined mine in 75 days.

Best of dub
Here's the church....here's the steeple...open and the doors and there's all the socialist idiots that would vote an unquallified and inexperienced person into office only because he can speak real pretty when on a teleprompter.

Best of Jay Guevara
"It's a deal, Hugo. You can start mowing the White House lawn first thing next week."

Best of Jack Reacher
"And you say Palmolive dishwashing detergent does that? Amazing."

Best of steve o
"Yes, Mr. President, thank you for diplomatic gift of unmarked, non-sequential portraits of American Presidents...

Best of mega
"And this is the Mod Squad handshake, a way for cool, multicultural people to greet." Obama, as always, was unable to resist a Teachable Moment.

45 comments:

dadoctah said...

"Can't wait to see what the honkies over at the New Yorker put on their cover for *this*."

wv: boddho. Avatar with a head cold.

dbar1918 said...

Say, I've seen this documentary. When does President Hindenburg die?

dbar1918

Viking04 said...

Comrade, it could only be better if Anderson Cooper were here to be the pivot man.

metalgarth said...

See, Barrack, this is why I say you are an ignoramus. Everyone knows you have to use a table to arm wrestle

GregMan said...

Someone in the crowd yelled "Hey comrade!", and they both turned around and said "Yes?"

GregMan said...

"I just can't quit Marx!"

"Me neither!"

GregMan said...

"Some enchanted evening,
you will meet a Commie,
you will meet a Commie,
across a crowded room..."

GregMan said...

That's no earthquake, that's Whittaker Chambers, Joe McCarthy and William F. Buckley all spinning in their graves.

GregMan said...

Maybe Pres. Soetero didn't bow, but he did get on his knees later on.

The Man said...

To: MSNBC Intern
RE: Chris Matthews' pants
--Could someone bring Chris a new set of pants, he soiled another pair. Thanks

Army of Dad said...

Yo homeslice, was up?

Army of Dad said...

Hugo: "I have never been proud of your country before now!"

Army of Dad said...

Hugo: "You know you aren't a bad guy, but you have to drop being a muslim..."

Army of Dad said...

Hugo: "Do you have any more of those birth certificates? I am thinking about running for your job in eight years..."

Army of Dad said...

We've replaced The One's usual leftist sidekick with a genuine communist. Let’s see if he notices.`

curly said...

"You call THAT a hand job?"

curly said...

"President Obama! Let me shake the hand that shook the hand of Bill Ayers."

flyovercountry said...

Congratulations Comrade Obama, less than 100 days in office and you are well on your way to ruining your great country. Of course, I ruined mine in 75 days.

flyovercountry said...

Yes Comrade Obama, I accept your apology for all of the wrongs that I think America has committed against Latin America, even though normal Americans know that what comes out of my mouth is pure BS. And I also want to thank you for the make up gift. Iowa, Nebraska, and Missouri will make a great addition to my sorry assed country.

dub said...

Here's the church....here's the steeple...open and the doors and there's all the socialist idiots that would vote an unquallified and inexperienced person into office only because he can speak real pretty when on a teleprompter.

dub said...

"President Obama, we have much in common. For example, when I am picking a shirt, I too will pick cotton."



ATDHE

dub said...

"So its a deal...we will unite as one force and launch a full scale attack if one more fatass is posted on Thursdays."

dub said...

I CAN HAZ CHEEP OIL?

Matt the K said...

Ahhh, see?? The ghosts of Idi Amin and Qusay Hussein approve!!!

Jay Guevara said...

"Thanks for hookin' me up with that righteous blow, ese."

"No problem, homez."

Jay Guevara said...

"Damn I hate America."

"Same here."

(Works either way around.)

mklasing said...

"Oh, I see you are still wearing your lapel pin. That is so hilarious."

molson said...

I call bottoms! Now don't complain Hugo, you got it last time.

Jay Guevara said...

Obama thought bubble: "I wonder if it's true what they say about guys with big thumbs..."

Chavez thought bubble: "I wonder if it's true what they say about the brothers..."

Jay Guevara said...

"It's a deal, Hugo. You can start mowing the White House lawn first thing next week."

Jay Guevara said...

"OK, you get Michelle and some cash, and I get...out of town, fast."

Jack Reacher said...

"And you say Palmolive dishwashing detergent does that? Amazing."

Jack Reacher said...

"It's like the Special Olympics of hand-shaking. Hey, you guys, don't print that. That's an order."
"Yes, Sir."

steve o said...

Two of the three modern day stooges do the "Stooges Handshake."

(Not pictured, the one known for his distinctive chuckle, "Nork Nork Nork)

steve o said...

"Hey comrade."

"Hey bro."

steve o said...

"Yes, Mr. President, thank you for diplomatic gift of unmarked, non-sequential portraits of American Presidents...

...of course, you know that I intend to regift it to others in your Administration."

Mr. Hankey said...

One of the reporters identifies the "Jeaneane Garafalo Secret Fan Club Handshake" but is taken care of before he can reveal the underground pact.

Oiao said...

"Yes, I plan on hooking the girls soon. Come up to D.C. an they love you long time."

jj said...

I don't care if you were only three months old. The real messiah would've been able to stop the Bay of Pigs invasion!

Submariner said...

Favorite "Personal Grip" comparison - Communist style.

Jay Guevara said...

"No, no, Hugo, it's just an expression."

dub said...

Thought bubble on guy in background, middle.... "Thank God...maybe NOW they'll stop calling me Token".

Submariner said...

"heh-heh, heh-heh..."

Submariner said...

Huggo and Ballsack - keepin' their gimp-hands strong...

mega said...

"And this is the Mod Squad handshake, a way for cool, multicultural people to greet." Obama, as always, was unable to resist a Teachable Moment.