Thursday, April 09, 2009

Painted Soccer Broads

Army of Mom

Best of The Man
Nice. But soccer is still gay

Best of John.....just John
Brazil. Giving a new meaning to Soccer Moms since 1896

Best of mpur
Damn the penalties, I'm using my hands!

Best of Submariner
Don't mind me miss, I'm just a patriotic sailor that likes to wrap himself in the stars and stripes when abroad...

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Oh, when will this ennui loosen it's grip on me? Oh, look, there it goes now!"

Best of Oiao
I never realized that Old Glory had a camel toe in it before.

Best of Army of Mom
I have your World Cup ... in my pants!

Best of lawhawk
I'd take a red card for taking 'em down.

Best of molson
Now that's what I call a patriotic cooch.

Best of Submariner
If Miss AmerItalia held my balls like that, I'm pretty sure they'd "Swoosh" on her hand, too.

58 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Balled is beautiful

Tremor said...

"Psst. Your balls are showing. Bumblebeetuna!"

The Man said...

Nice. But soccer is still gay

kg said...

Can I play soccer in Brazil?

John.....just John said...

Brazil. Giving a new meaning to Soccer Moms since 1896

jeff said...

Finally - a soccer ball I can really get a grip on.

Julie the Jarhead said...

Just wanted to say, "Thank you, V the K, for making my Holy Thursday a truly spiritual experience."

wv: pufter -- a male soccer player.

Submariner said...

If soccer uniforms looked like this back in the day, I'd have volunteered to be a cheerleader for the girls' team at my school. Heck, if they looked like that I'd volunteer today.

Army of Dad said...

Excuse me Miss Brazil but I am a goalkeeper and I need to handle those balls.

Army of Dad said...

Well I am all American so I guess I know where you want me...

Army of Dad said...

"Well, funny you should ask about all the paint I have on me AoM. You will never believe what happened!"

Matt the K said...

"Atsa spicy Socceraball!!"

Army of Dad said...

Dear Penthouse, I never thought I could made into a soccer fan until I spent a day with a couple of chicks from Italy and Brazil...

Army of Dad said...

Yes the 4-4-2 is a great basic formation. I prefer the f-m-f, don't you ladies?

dub said...

Just one more reason to put a bag over Mexico's head.

dub said...

If you look closely at Brazils soccer balls, I think you can see her holllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!

ShoeChick said...

Isn't that nice...there's an American flag draped over that Brazilian.

dadoctah said...

"It's not paint, dammit. It's a birthmark!"

ochagirl said...

The Brazilian has big balls. No, really, and they're not the ones painted on "her" derriere!

vw: pronp . . . they're categorizing you now, VtK.

ochagirl said...

WHERE IS ITALIAMERICA'S HAND?!

ochagirl said...

There's some allegory in the photo about getting into the U.S. without bothering with citizenship - I know it.

Army of Dad said...

Excuse me while I secure her southern border.

mpur said...

Damn the penalties, I'm using my hands!

Submariner said...

Don't mind me miss, I'm just a patriotic sailor that likes to wrap himself in the stars and stripes when abroad...

Submariner said...

SSSSSSCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRE!

metalgarth said...

socc'er? I hardly know 'er!

steve o said...

If there's grass on the field -- play ball!

Pendark said...

"I'm a little concerned about the placement of the red stripes", the makeup artist said.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Oh, when will this ennui loosen it's grip on me? Oh, look, there it goes now!"

Oiao said...

I never realized that Old Glory had a camel toe in it before.

flyovercountry said...

Hey, that reminds me, I need to paint the house.

(I'm old)

dub said...

I dont recall soccer balls having pimples on them.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Never has watching a little sweaty paint dry seemed so entertaining to so many. My cuntry tis of thee!
She's not burning the flag, but things are getting hot.
I feel very patriotic as a part of me stands up and salutes old glory's hole. Well, helloooo gloria!


who said caption clichés were a dying art form?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Still, she can't hold a candle to these pre-weight gain photos of an angel called Alessandra.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

rats, wrong photo

WordVerify: remating - something I'd like to do with a few Thursday babes... after mating.

Army of Mom said...

Seriously, Senorita Brazil and Ms. America/Italia. The best way to remove the paint is with a tongue bath.

Army of Mom said...

And, no, Army of Dad. A wad of jizz is not a good pre-treatment for the tongue-bath paint removal.

Army of Mom said...

Ceiling Cat is jealous of the pretty pussies.

Army of Mom said...

Now I understand why Army of Dad's thighs and crotch were covered in white, black, red and blue paint. It also explains the humming of the national anthem during his shower.

Army of Mom said...

Army of Dad, I don't believe that is a red card you just pulled out of your pocket, but I can see why you want to give it to them.

Army of Mom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Mom said...

Army of Mom and Army of Dad have split allegiances for this match. I want Italia and he wants the USA. Perhaps we can work this out together, dear. We'll both pull for Brazil in the next match.

Army of Mom said...

I have your World Cup ... in my pants!

Army of Mom said...

This futbol match was brought to you by Massengill for those days when you have that 'not so fresh feeling' or after having your cooch and ass painted by some perv who keeps calling himself Army of Dad and making veiled references to having a patriotic pole he'd like to wrap your flag around.

Army of Mom said...

Ohhhh, the skank wrapped her flag around AoD's pole and then the Brazillian beauty aimed her balls for the same goal.

Everyone, sing along!

Army of Mom said...

'Ow to speak Australian: soccer groupies

Army of Mom said...

Ironically, I have this paint scheme.

*you wanted it, admit it*

Ok, everyone except dub. He was hoping for Keira Knightley or a 12-year-old boy.

lawhawk said...

I'd take a red card for taking 'em down.

molson said...

Now that's what I call a patriotic cooch.

molson said...

Ok that made me touch myself a little... OK maybe it was a lot... Don't judge me.

Submariner said...

Kinda gives new meaning to "pulling for the flag..."


however briefly...

Submariner said...

If Miss AmerItalia held my balls like that, I'm pretty sure they'd "Swoosh" on her hand, too.

steve o said...

Even if you can't make the team, you can still DO the team.

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Son Of The Godfather said...

Old Glory Hole

Son Of The Godfather said...

Every heart beats true for the red, white and blue-balls.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Let's run your flag up my flagpole and see if anyone salutes...

Son Of The Godfather said...

There's a flag on that last play... I like that last play.