Friday, April 17, 2009

Luis Fernandez, World's Most Incompetent Auto Detailer

Steve O
1. GM's plant in Tijuana was plagued by Quality Control Problems.

2. "Sorry for the sudden stop Miguel. You okay?"

3. Even in the 23rd Century, you don't want to use a Mexican transporter.

4. "What do you mean, we're here? I just got comfortable."

5. Well, when he finishes his cocoon, he'll hibernate for several months, and then a beautiful flamenco dancer will emerge.

Best of Army of Dad
Caution: Always exit your transformer BEFORE your transformer changes forms.

Best of dub
Introducing the new Chevy Vato. It seats 7, gets 24 mpg, and will make your lawn look fantastic!

Best of Mr. Hankey
Sally learns that her aborted fetus from 20 years ago wasn't lost and had simply fallen between the seat cushions.

Best of steve o
No, I'm not Corinthian.
I'm Mexican. Why do you ask?

Best of ColoradoPatriot
"Hello, OnStar? You're not going to believe this."


Best of curly
Mexican superhero "CarSeatMan" is able to transform himself into a badly upholstered VW minibus captain's chair at will.

Best of ColoradoPatriot
Whoever had the idea of an ejector seat on the bottom level of a double-decker bus should have his head eximined.

Best of Rodney Dill
OJA:
220, 221, Whatever it takes.


Best of Matt the K
"So, you see, that's why they call them 'lazy boys'."

55 comments:

Anonymous said...

The newest GM cars manufactured in Mexico decidedly still have some bugs in the systems.

Matt the K said...

Dangit Bill! I said HAVE a seat-- not BE a seat!!

dub said...

I always thought I felt a little prick when I sat down in the back seat of Carl's car.

Army of Dad said...

Oye, chicka. Come sit down!!

Army of Dad said...

Upholstered with real Corinthian leather, Corinthian included.

Army of Dad said...

ORA: I am crazy car seat boy, give me some candy!

Army of Dad said...

Looks like someone really likes that new car smell.

Army of Dad said...

Gimp your ride.

Army of Dad said...

Caution: Always exit your transformer BEFORE your transformer changes forms.

Army of Dad said...

Pleather and face is a very obscure fetish. Now you know why.

Army of Dad said...

Replacing your arm rest, more illegal Mexican workers doing jobs Americans won't do.

Army of Dad said...

Juan, Immagracion will not be fooled by that!

son of a preacher man said...

Line worker accidentally traps himself installing seats. Unfortunately for him the union worker whose job it is to remove those who have accidentally trapped themselves, has been on voluntary lay off for the past 8 weeks.

Mr. Hankey said...

New on TeleMundo: The Mexican Six Million Peso Man - Astronaut Stefano Austin is injured in a tragic fence climbing accident and s rebuilt as a car seat.

Mr. Hankey said...

Barry's car rejected the seat transplant and soon passed away. Apparently it was installed at an alternative Mexican clinic.

dub said...

Introducing the new Chevy Vato. It seats 7, gets 24 mpg, and will make your lawn look fantastic!

dub said...

Seat Stuffing...yet another job created by the Obama administration.

Mr. Hankey said...

Sally learns that her aborted fetus from 20 years ago wasn't lost and had simply fallen between the seat cushions.

Mr. Hankey said...

Pedro learns what can happen if you give a mouse a cookie.

prince of leaves said...

The new 2010 Chevy Mother-in-Law: backseat driving just got a whole lot more intimate!

prince of leaves said...

"No, satellite radio isn't included in that trim package. But for an extra hundred bucks, you can get the factory-installed mariachi kit."

prince of leaves said...

On a drunken dare, Antonio attempted to replicate the car factory scene from "Minority Report"...and might have succeeded had he not picked the minivan line by mistake.

Army of Dad said...

Queer Eye for the Car Guy introduces the reach around car seat!

steve o said...

Jorge works in Receiving, but he hopes to get a job in Assembly using a similar method he used to get a job in this state.

steve o said...

No, I'm not Corithian.
I'm Mexican. Why do you ask?

steve o said...

Juan was giving a BJ to Optimus Prime when Bumblebee suddenly walked in...

steve o said...

No, I'm not Corinthian.
I'm Mexican. Why do you ask?

dub said...

I see you added the Corinthian Reach Around option. Good choice!

Silhouette said...

"And step on it. I'm late for a board meeting and I'm the Chairman."

dadoctah said...

I call shotgun!

dadoctah said...

Toyota's new ad campaign was clearly derivative of Apple's "I'm a PC, I'm a Mac series".

wv: asoedle. What Swiss people do when they eat beans.

dadoctah said...

Body by Fisher. Mind by Mencia.

Shayne said...

I know this is not a caption, but I want more Beckinsale!!!

ColoradoPatriot said...

"Hello, OnStar? You're not going to believe this."

ColoradoPatriot said...

Thanks to the bailout, GM is forced to make concessions to the UAW that "keeps everybody employed".

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile Nafta keeps the mescians employed and our folks are laid off. Isnt NAFTA such a winner!!!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This goes a long way toward 'splaining how an ad for a compact car can claim it seats 9.

-OR-

So, you were upset when Delta eliminated aisle and row seating selection? Wait til you learn what "Fly United" now means for coach passengers!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Despite a supervisor's pleas that front seat photos would be better publicity for the DMV, Alvin "evel knievel" Dunwoody knew what stood between him and an injury-free 25-year student driver trainer career (and his retirement party that very evening)... 4 pimple-faced youths and a one-eyed retiree with palsy. Nothing could pry him from the security of his special instructor's seat.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Not surprisingly, the final GM cars had to be towed off the assembly line (due to a spike in pilfered engines, wheels and other parts coming to a black market near you); however, each car comes equipped with a member of white collar management, tucked and rolled to union specs.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

AP Washington, DC: To the relief of anxious female commuters, the notorious Beltway Gridlock Fondler was finally caught red handed (so to speak) when his arm became entangled in a faulty seatbelt.
Addendum: Represented by the ACLU, the perv sued the seatbelt manufacturer and won.

curly said...

Gesundheit!

curly said...

"Fahrvergnugen" does not translate well into spanish.

curly said...

Mexican superhero "CarSeatMan" is able to transform himself into a badly upholstered VW minibus captain's chair at will.

Matt the K said...

If you look a little closer at the label on the seat, you'll see it says 'Made OF Mexico'.

Submariner said...

I dunno, seems to me the child car seat restraint code is a bit out of control...

dadoctah said...

Herb Alpert makes his acting debut in the live-action adaptation of Disney's "Cars".

dub said...

Is that a little excess armor all in your seat or are you just happy to see me?

Green Card said...

Mexican Transformers

sonicfrog said...

ORA: All in all, Captain Stillman was right. I'd rather be a loofah...

ColoradoPatriot said...

Whoever had the idea of an ejector seat on the bottom level of a double-decker bus should have his head eximined.

wv: "yograds" Props to the Class of '09!

Rodney Dill said...

a beautiful car, with doors to match...comes with factory air-conditioned air, from our fully air-conditioned factory...

Rodney Dill said...

OJA:
220, 221, Whatever it takes.

Rodney Dill said...

"I said the seats were stain-proof,
not Stan-proof."

Matt the K said...

"So, you see, that's why they call them 'lazy boys'."
ATDHE

Matt the K said...

I've heard of 'tuck and roll' interiors, but this is ridiculous.