Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Horror, OMG, the Horrible Horror

Al

1. 4,000 articulate, intelligent patriots show up at Tea Party, and CNN interviews these two.

2. What happens at Don Imus's ranch, stays at Don Imus's ranch.

3. "Welcome to Vermont!"

4. The most insulting part about DHS's report on the dangers of "right-wing" groups was the cover illustration.

5. "We got company, Earl. Break out the Châteauneuf-du-Pape Vigne du Régent 2005."

Best of Tim
The Gods of Light and Knowledge prefer a rustic existance

Best of Mr. Hankey
The Hall & Oates reunion tour got off to a rocky start.

Best of curly
Bartles and James have really let themselves go.

Best of Jack Reacher
Wow, Warren Beatty and John Larroquette have really let themselves go.

Best of jj
Anderson Cooper and David Gergen relax after a hard day at the studio.

Best of Oiao
Who'da thunk these two would have gotten em'sleves caught up in the sub-prime mess too.

Best of Double the U
Jeez, Terry Jones and Michael Palin have really let themselves go.

Best of metalgarth
Beavis I told you to get a shirt that covers your gut. No I hafta kick your ass

Best of Rodney Dill
Jeff Foxworthy's muses

Best of Matt the K
In a cruel and strange irony, Scott Bakula leaped into a different socio-economic strata. Check out his new 'Al'...

Best of dadoctah
Worst. Lawn gnomes. Evar.

Best of GregMan
"Squeel like a whut?"

Best of steve o
Things you won't overhear in conversation:

- Duct tape won't fix that.
- Checkmate.
- Oh hell, she's just 16 -- I couldn't.
- Tats just don't look good on some people.
- Nietzsche may have been inspired by Schopenhauer, but he wasn't limited by him.
- No thanks, I have to drive.
- I'll have an Appletini, please.
- Pouvez-vous recommander un vin rouge compliqué avec les notes terreuses?
- I just got home from the gym.
- Nawwww, she's too fat for me.
- Of course you may use my Scrabble dictionary.
- Only the police should own guns.

55 comments:

Tim said...

The Gods of Light and Knowledge prefer a rustic existance

Mr. Hankey said...

The Hall & Oates reunion tour got off to a rocky start.

curly said...

Bartles and James have really let themselves go.

Rodney Dill said...

Billy Carter had children?

prince of leaves said...

Silicon Valley, 2021: after ten years, software startups have yet to benefit from the dramatic economic recovery brought to us by President-for-Life Obama (PBUH).

Jack Reacher said...

Since selling the ice cream business, Ben and Jerry have been at loose ends.

Jack Reacher said...

"See you at the usual rest stop, Sully."

Jack Reacher said...

AIG's accounting department takes a break.

Jack Reacher said...

"We is tired. Them folks from ACORN had us sign a hunnert registration forms this afternoon."

Jack Reacher said...

Wow, Warren Beatty and John Larroquette have really let themselves go.

dadoctah said...

Welcome to "Gary Busey's American Idol".

Mr. Hankey said...

Hillary Clinton was often asked why she stayed with Bill. What she never revealed was that she only got two hits on Match.com for men loving women with cankles.

Mr. Hankey said...

Little Rascals 2010 - With their stimulus money, Spanky and Alfalfa were all set to put on a really great show for the other kids in the neighborhood.

Mr. Hankey said...

Farrah Fawcett's anal cancer recovery group had a great success record.

jj said...

Anderson Cooper and David Gergen relax after a hard day at the studio.

Shayne said...

"At e-Harmony, fall in love for all the right reasons"

Rodney Dill said...

You will never find a more vile hive of scum and villainy...

Oiao said...

Who'da thunk these two would have gotten em'sleves caught up in the sub-prime mess too.

Rodney Dill said...

"Jees... you gotta pretty mouth."

Rodney Dill said...

Why do I suddenly hear banjo music.

Army of Dad said...

Blue Collar Comedy Tour 2030.

dub said...

Saturday, the Redneck Thursday.

robert said...

Bert 'n' Buster's Tattoo Parlor

I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt...

The New York Times book review staff has an offsite.

We wuz buff in our prime.

We 'lected a whuuut?

wv: packer

Submariner said...

Mike al'Moore had a pair for fraternal love twins with Helen Thomas? Who knew, more importantley, who'd care?

dadoctah said...

eHarmony.com epic fail

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Good Housekeeping's October issue, page 12:"Pumpkins On the Porch"
Appalachia, where every day seems like Halloween.

WordVerify: dazebox - pretty much fits ol' red to a T, don't it?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Executive Order #6 - Energy Independence Day!To replace the US Strategic Petroleum Reserve and save ANWAR, Obamalama just nationalized obese residents (includes every fat-assed illegal caught waddling in and out of Walmarts) and auctioned off drilling rights to the newly formed US Liposuction Cartel.

ColoradoPatriot said...

Earl's "I'm with stupid" t-shirt was in the dryer.

Kaptain Krude said...

Mom? .... Dad?

Double the U said...

Jeez, Terry Jones and Michael Palin have really let themselves go.

racerboy said...

2012 - Outsourcing comes full circle when sysadmin rates in Appalachia fall below the going rate in New Dehli.

Wordver - reckendo. Yep, I do, Billybob...

Buttferd and Billyboob

metalgarth said...

Beavis I told you to get a shirt that covers your gut. No I hafta kick your ass

curly said...

I never authorized my picture to be posted! Remove it at once, VtheK!

curly said...

Lookee here Earl, to quote Einstein, "The attempt to conceive the quantum-theoretical description as the complete description of the individual systems leads to unnatural theoretical interpretations, which become immediately unnecessary if one accepts the interpretation that the description refers to ensembles of systems and not to individual systems."

sonicfrog said...

Not common knowledge, Bill and Rodger Clinton often let their hair down over the week-ends.

Rodney Dill said...

Jeff Foxworthy's muses

dadoctah said...

The new face of the Republican party. And his campaign adviser.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Brokeback Mountain II - The Hatfield & McCoy SagaCloaked in that pink flush of post-coital ecstasy, Festus whispers to Cletus, "Wut happens in Appalachia stays in Appalachia, don't it?"

WordVerify: chork - at the genetics lab, chickens squeal and pigs do fly. "Pass me a piece of that chork, the other white meat."

paul said...

Here's my brother Darryl, and my other brother, Darryl.

Rodney Dill said...

2 men,
5 ex-wives,
7 trucks(6 up on concrete blocks)
15 teeth,
278 empty beer cans.

Rodney Dill said...

The years have not been good to Beavis and Butthead

WV: dighele

dub said...

I CAN HAZ ROOT?

Matt the K said...

Whatever the hell 'zoot' is, I don't want it.

Matt the K said...

In a cruel and strange irony, Scott Bakula leaped into a different socio-economic strata. Check out his new 'Al'...

dadoctah said...

Worst. Lawn gnomes. Evar.

mklasing said...

2012: "Hope" and "Change" finally decide to give an interview-next on Fox.

Julie the Jarhead said...

Believe it or not, there are some stories even Jerry Springer wouldn't touch.

GregMan said...

After having given the "correct" answer to the gay marriage question (unlike Miss California), the new Miss USA and the runner-up pose for their photo-op.

GregMan said...

"Squeel like a whut?"

molson said...

Body by crack.

steve o said...

Things you won't overhear in conversation:

- Duct tape won't fix that.
- Checkmate.
- Oh hell, she just 16 -- I couldn't.
- Tats just don't look good on some people.
- Nietzsche may have been inspired by Schopenhauer, but he limited by him.
- No thanks, I have to drive.
- I'll have an Appletini, please.
- Pouvez-vous recommander un vin rouge compliqué avec les notes terreuses?
- I just got home from the gym.
- Nawwww, she's to fat for me.

steve o said...

Things you may overhear in conversation:

- I fixed that thar screen door myself.
- I got hit with $234 in federal taxes.
- ...and my property taxes are at least that much.
- Anybody can always use another dog.
- I haven't had a bath today. Or yesterday.
- You got a couple o' bucks you can spare?
- FOOD BABY!!

steve o said...

Things you won't overhear in conversation:

- Duct tape won't fix that.
- Checkmate.
- Oh hell, she's just 16 -- I couldn't.
- Tats just don't look good on some people.
- Nietzsche may have been inspired by Schopenhauer, but he wasn't limited by him.
- No thanks, I have to drive.
- I'll have an Appletini, please.
- Pouvez-vous recommander un vin rouge compliqué avec les notes terreuses?
- I just got home from the gym.
- Nawwww, she's too fat for me.
- Of course you may use my Scrabble dictionary.
- Only the police should own guns.

Rodney Dill said...

"Damn, I loved that dog"
"Shoulda used a smaller firecracker."
"...or a bigger dog."

Army of Dad said...

This is your future on drugs. Any questions?