Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Gee, They Both Seem to Be Having *Such* a Good Time


1. "No, Really, I'm not gay. I'm just really put off by the fact that you could land a Piper Cub in the space between your joybags."

2. "First of all, Maxine, there's a little thing called 'shrinkage.' Secondly, yes, compared to the guys behind me, I am going to suffer a little bit in comparison."

3. "I've always wondered what it would be like to have sex with a black guy." "Gee, Mike, so have I."

4. "So, dub, those five pounds I put on over the winter don't make you grimace in revulsion when you touch my back, do they?"

5. Dang it, if her boobs didn't point in opposite directions, she'd make a great vest for my 'woman suit.'

Best of Army of Dad
Janet's horrible back acne repulses another victim.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Here it is; I found the air valve."

Best of dub
Seriously, WHERE IS THE DAMNED HOLE?!?!?

Best of metalgarth
Darrin could never remember the proper sequence of 1's and 0's to get his femme-bot to feign interest in him

Best of Tim
"yup that's a leach"

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yeah. Like you've got a shot."

Best of jeff
"Good Grief Jan, recolor your hair - those black roots are disgusting!"

Best of prince of leaves
ORA: "Maaaatt Daaaaamon!!!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"There there, Jenny darling, that V the K is a sick intercourse with no sense of decency. He presents himself as some sort of holier-than-thou do-gooder Christian, with pictures of tits and animals having sex on his blog. You are much too good to be his Thursday Babe. There there, let me massage that tension away." Bruce took his opportunity when he saw it.

Best of Mr. Hankey
Landry always heard that once you got a girl wet, you owned her.

Best of Matt the K
Ewww. First negroes at the pool and now I have to put lotion on a *girl*. Jacob the Gay Racist Mormon is having a terrible day.

35 comments:

Army of Dad said...

Janet's horrible back acne claims another victim.

Army of Dad said...

Poor boy, rub sun tan lotion on my back.

As you wish.

Jack Reacher said...

"Here it is; I found the air valve."

wv:droup. A little, yeah.

Army of Dad said...

thought bubble: OMG I hate my new step-family!

Army of Dad said...

Not having a book to walk around with, Eric decided to leave his shirt on so he could conceal the front of his shorts.

dub said...

Seriously, WHERE IS THE DAMNED HOLE?!?!?

dub said...

Barebacking....UR DOIN IT RONG!

dub said...

Out of the pool kids, seems there's a jerry curl slick in the water. The pool will be closed for 2 hours.

ATDHE

dub said...

This picture is obviously photoshopped. We all know that black people are afraid of the water (not counting the water in Kool Aid).



ATDHE

Carpe Phlogiston said...

VtheK - "...Secondly, yes, compared to the guys behind me, I am going to suffer a little bit in comparison."
Addendum - "However, in my favor, ya got zero chance of catching HIV from me, and if my swimmers knock you up, I'm a college grad who's gainfully employed."

Carpe Phlogiston said...

VtheK - "So, dub, those five pounds I put on over the winter don't make you grimace in revulsion when you touch my back, do they?"
Addendum - "Nah, it's that other 20+ layered on your paunch, butt and thighs that make me wretch. And, if you say you're just big boned one more time, I'm gonna to slap you silly."

metalgarth said...

Darrin could never remember the proper sequence of 1's and 0's to get his femme-bot to feign interest in him

Tim said...

"yup that's a leach"

dub said...

See if you can guess which guy has decent credit and the ability to get car insurance.

Hint: His name isn't Toby.



ATDHE

dub said...

Frank was in clear defiance of the "No Rubbing" rule.

dub said...

With his zipper wide open, Frank couldnt help but to laugh at the thought that Lisa really thought that was suntan lotion he was rubbing on her back.

dub said...

Just rub the lotion in or you'll get the hose again!

Jay Guevara said...

"Yeah. Like you've got a shot."

jeff said...

"Good Grief Jan, recolor your hair - those black roots are disgusting!"

molson said...

Don't worry Honey. This is nothing a little soap and water can't fix.

prince of leaves said...

After Britney refused to reciprocate by troweling on the SPF10,000 sunblock he required, Tyler he was forced to swim in a t-shirt to keep his ginger skin from burning to a bacony crisp.

prince of leaves said...

ORA: "Maaaatt Daaaaamon!!!"

prince of leaves said...

"Tammy said you have a 'high gaydar cross-section'. What does that mean, Tyler?"

dadoctah said...

"Back in Provo, we call this foreplay."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Oh yes, that's the way, oh, oh that's so good!" Becky had to practice her lines before her first porno film shoot.

wv: humma. More evidence that the word verification machine has become sentient.

Kaptain Krude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kaptain Krude said...

"There there, Jenny darling, that V the K is a sick intercourse with no sense of decency. He presents himself as some sort of holier-than-thou do-gooder Christian, with pictures of tits and animals having sex on his blog. You are much too good to be his Thursday Babe. There there, let me massage that tension away." Bruce took his opportunity when he saw it.

jeff said...

"Billy - maybe you should make sure it's okay to go topless here before you untie me.."

Mr. Hankey said...

Landry unpacks his Real-Doll, making sure to keep the locals away.

Mr. Hankey said...

andry always heard that once you got a girl wet, you owned her.

Army of Dad said...

Hermione was pissed when she saw what Ron was doing on their honeymoon.

Ron insisted he was just trying to understand how muggles used sun block.

Army of Dad said...

Jenny thought bubble: This is nothing like what I thought it woudl be like when I saw that painting of a unicorn and The One.

Matt the K said...

Ewww. First negroes at the pool and now I have to put lotion on a *girl*.

Jacob the Gay Mormon is having a terrible day.

Submariner said...

From the scrunched up forehead, I think she's about to find out where she'll be when her laxative kicks in...

Oiao said...

There. Hold still. Just one more zit to go.