Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Gaytar Queero


1. The Democrat Caucus retreat immediately passed a resolution to never put Barney Frank in charge of entertainment again.

2. Steve Martin would later abandon the nudity and swap the guitar for a banjo. The bunny ears would remain part of his stand-up act throughout the seventies, though.

3. Billy didn't get to go to Los Angeles, but Ryan Seacrest did invite him for a 'private audition' at his estate in Malibu.

4. He was doing great until Perez Hilton called him a "dumb b!tch."

5. Why Army of Mom thought this was appropriate entertainment for a 9 year old's birthday party I'm not sure I wanna know.

Best of jeff
Basic misunderstanding - he thought Little Bunny Foo-Foo was Rockin' the field mice in their heads...

Best of Viking04
I got into UNC-Chapel Hill! YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Best of molson
In the next episode of "Real People with Short Lifespans", we're going to Texas. Just wait until we spring this one on an unsuspecting biker bar outside of Houston.

Best of Rodney Dill
...and now in the key of Gay-flat

Best of metalgarth
Considering how many people have been in an out of Guns N' Roses since the mid 1990s, I'd say this guy still has a better than average chance of getting the gig

Best of Army of Dad
"Good night Neverland Ranch, you rock!"

Best of Army of Mom
So, then, Mrs. Robinson said if I wanted extra credit to show up in her back yard wearing only my sneakers, bunny ears and my guitar.

Best of Jay Guevara
Pretty good Rahm Emanuel impression.

Best of Rodney Dill
Welease Bawabbit

Best of Jack Reacher
Keith Urban shows sure were different pre-rehab.

Best of Jay Guevara
Everybody who is clapping to keep Tinkerbell alive...knock it off!

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Though rejected by Leno, Jeffery likes his chances once Conan lowers standards another notch.

Best of Capt. Queeg
Twink182

Best of Mr. Hankey
The "Free Credit Report.com" guy is realy pissed this time.

57 comments:

dub said...

He has an excercise trampoline? Fag.

dub said...

Its ironic....white guy, white guitar...and in neither case can you see his whammy bar.

jeff said...

Sully was intrigued, but thought the orange shoelaces were gauche.

jeff said...

Guitar photoshopped in to protect the innocent. And everyone else as well.

jeff said...

Basic misunderstanding - he thought Little Bunny Foo-Foo was Rockin' the field mice in their heads...

Viking04 said...

I got into UNC-Chapel Hill!

YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Rodney Dill said...

El Ka-Sproing

dadoctah said...

We told David we didn't observe Easter was because we were Jewish. The real reason would have broken his fragile little heart.

molson said...

Ziggy Twink.

molson said...

In the next episode of "Real People with Short Lifespans", we're going to Texas. Just wait until we spring this one on an unsuspecting biker bar outside of Houston.

Rodney Dill said...

Done did the French Mistake

Rodney Dill said...

...and now in the key of Gay-flat

WV: nalemess

metalgarth said...

Considering how many people have been in an out of Guns N' Roses since the mid 1990s, I'd say this guy still has a better than average chance of getting the gig

metalgarth said...

White Rabbit, by Jefferson Airplane: UR DOING IT GHEY

metalgarth said...

He still didn't get any Trix cereal

Army of Dad said...

I gave my love a fairy, who was quite stoned.

Army of Dad said...

"This is not the White Russian I ordered." said Sully "Though I will keep him."

Army of Dad said...

"Good night Never Never Land, you rock!"

Army of Dad said...

"Mom, dad I have something to tell you...I really want to be a musician!"

Army of Dad said...

Dean Wormer knew hazing was going on. Now that he had his proof, it was double secret probation time!

Army of Dad said...

"Has any of you had the dream where you are playing guitar naked in front of your church youth group? Well I thought I was having that dream..."

The Man said...

The meeting of the Emnuclaw Chamber of Commerce was deemed a success

Army of Dad said...

ORA: The bunny, the bunny, whoa I love the bunny.

(Not that some of you monors would have watched Veggie Tales...)

Army of Mom said...

Army of Mom rubbed her hands fiendishly when she realized her little ruse worked. Thinking he was there to entertain the little tykes, Zac Efron was shocked to know he was the entertainment for the moms inside!

Army of Mom said...

What good Cougars everywhere find in their Easter baskets.

Army of Mom said...

Zac's buddies made sure he never got the shrooms again after he started singing Whitesnake songs in the backyard of the frat house.

Army of Mom said...

ALL UR GRUPEYS R MINE

Army of Mom said...

Dear mom. I met a boy at college today. He's really cute and into nature. He likes bunnies, music and taking hikes. I can't wait for you to meet him. His name is Harvey.

Army of Mom said...

I can't wait to see him grind ... on the guitar.

Army of Mom said...

I wonder if what they say about the size of a man's ears is true ... or was that his shoe size? I can never remember.

Army of Mom said...

Waaaaaiiiit a minute. This is NOT the bunny I ordered Army of Dad for his birthday present. But, since he's already paid for, I think Mother's Day is just around the corner. Would be a shame to waste that money and all.

Army of Mom said...

The female version complete opposite of a dub comment:

Give that boy a couple of orders of biscuits, sausage and gravy. Then bring him back to me in a few years when he's grown some pubes.

Army of Mom said...

Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably 18. I'd do him. A couple of times, maybe, before I hurt him too badly.

Army of Mom said...

I'm sorry, sweets. You must have mistaken me for someone else. My name is not Mrs. Robinson. *wheels spinning* Oh wait, silly me, yes, yes ... I AM Mrs. Robinson.

Army of Mom said...

So, then, Mrs. Robinson said if I wanted extra credit to show up in her back yard wearing only my sneakers, bunny ears and my guitar.

Double the U said...

Wholly-crap, that is the first song I learned to play.

Jay Guevara said...

Come back, John Wayne. All is forgiven.

Jay Guevara said...

Pretty good Rahm Emanuel impression.

wv: jacksme (no he doesn't)

dub said...

Rock out with your cock out...RIGHT ON, IF YER GONNA BEE ALL LITERAL.

Submariner said...

Actually, I was thinking she was dub's dream girl, considering her chest and all...

Rodney Dill said...

"Tink happy tawts"

Rodney Dill said...

"...and now for my ZZTOP impression."

WV: boomolo

Rodney Dill said...

Welease BawabbitWV: spoopar

(I love these WV's)

robert said...

Bet you think that guitar is suspended by the strap, don't you?

It hurts to spin that guitar, but the show must go on.

Elwood P. Dowd had some strange dreams after a long night at Charlie's.

Jack Reacher said...

Keith Urban shows sure were different pre-rehab.

Jack Reacher said...

"Hey, ladies, who wants a few licks on my guitar?"

Mr. Hankey said...

Little bunny foo foo, hopping through the forest. Picking up the mercy mice & boning them in the ass...

Mr. Hankey said...

Sorry George...at least one child was left behind.

jj said...

Jake may have grown up, but all he could play on the guitar was still a few riffs of "Smoke on the Water"

Jay Guevara said...

Everybody who is clapping to keep Tinkerbell alive...knock it off!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Though rejected by Leno, Jeffery likes his chances once Conan lowers standards another notch.

-OR-

This is precisely why the Bee Gee's never ever mention their fifth brother, Percy.

-OR-

Q: This mascot represents:
1) Bob Jones' University
2) West Point
3) L.Ron Hubbard's Mothership Piloting Academy
4) Boi's Town

A: really, given the state of society, does it matter?

Double the U said...

Worst ban audition ever... especially because it was a heavy metal band.

Rodney Dill said...

Dennis Kucinich has kids?

Capt. Queeg said...

Twink182

mklasing said...

DisneyWorld's Earth Day theme park "Human Kingdom" was a marketing disaster.

Mr. Hankey said...

The "Free Credit Report.com" guy is realy pissed this time.

Submariner said...

"...so then I leveled my gats on him like this, and I says 'yer money or yer life' all mean likes, and HE says..."

When Gross Pointe kids act all "street" and sh!t.