Monday, April 13, 2009

Economic Metaphors 101


1. The American taxpayer gratefully accepts his $8 a week temporary tax relief from the Obamassiah and rests secure in the knowledge that nothing can possibly go wrong.

2. Snidely Whiplash isn't even trying these days.

3. ORA: "Boy, those Ace of Spades Morons sure were nice to share their Valu-Rite vodka with me. I wonder what the catch is."

4. Fox scores a surprise reality hit with Trains versus Hobos, even though the outcome of the match was seldom surprising.

5. Vanilla Ice reflects on his career.

Wicked Supreme Best of Mr. Hankey
Obama's Schoolhouse Rock - "Conjuction Junction, What's Your Function?? "Sleeping all day and getting a handout...""

Best of Matt the K
After being shooed away from sleeping in the trash compactor, bear trap, and firing range, Otis Campbell finally gets some peace and quiet.

Best of The Man
The governor of new york didn't see this metaphor coming

Best of mklasing
This week on "Caught On Tape": GM Union employees working hard during the morning shift.

Best of Army of Dad
It's cool, he is wearing his yellow hat for safety!

Best of Matt the K
Juan's sleep number is Narrow Gauge.

Best of metalgarth
Charlie tried to comprehend "one point perspective" and "vanishing points" by using osmosis

Best of Submariner
The trick for most members of the Legislature is not whether or not they're asleep at the job - they are. Instead it is simply one of facing the right way so that when they finally startle awake - they'll be able to see what's coming at them.

Best of Mr. Right
"You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death..."

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Stevie had a one track mind... about a mile and half long according to the coroner.

Best of Adjustah
"When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel...hey, no seriously you guys, what is that whistling sound?"

Best of dub
Raul is exhausted after laying out 4,000 coke lines for Courtney Loves birthday party.

38 comments:

Matt the K said...

Rex Kramer Danger Seeker made a fatal mistake by coming out of retirement; they carry automatic weapons in Compton these days.

Matt the K said...

"Iron Horse Coming."
"We know 'Lays', its about 50 yards away."

Absolutely nobody in the tribe was impressed with Lays His Head on Rail's skills.

Matt the K said...

Mongo's cousin Chongo don't care where choo-choo go. Chongo only dumbass in game of life.

Matt the K said...

After being shooed away from sleeping in the trash compactor, bear trap, and firing range, Otis Campbell finally gets some peace and quiet.

Jack Reacher said...

Sure, we can unionize T.S.A. without any ill effects; the railroads have unions, and look at them!

Jack Reacher said...

You're a taxpayer? Yeah, that's as good a place as any to wait for your bail-out.

Mr. Hankey said...

Obama's Schoolhouse Rock - "Conjuction Junction, What's Your Function?? "Sleeping all day and getting a handout...""

Submariner said...

Wait'll you see this guy's "track marks" later...

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Man said...

The governor of new york didn't see this metaphor coming

Silhouette said...

With Sir Topham Hat passed out, Thomas knew his chance had finally come to show how useful an engine he could be.

Silhouette said...

No, No, No! You're supposed to sleep on a bed of NAILS.

mklasing said...

This week on "Caught On Tape": GM Union employees working hard during the morning shift.

Submariner said...

FAST TRACKIN UR K-REAR: UR DOIN IT RONG

Army of Dad said...

I've been sleeping on the railroad, all the live long day...

Army of Dad said...

Asleep on the switch.

Army of Dad said...

He's going off the rails of this lazy train!

Army of Dad said...

It's cool, he is wearing his yellow hat for safety!

Matt the K said...

Homeless Bob figured he'd lay some pennies on the rail and see what happens. He just neglected taking them out of his ear first.

Matt the K said...

Juan's sleep number is Narrow Gauge.

metalgarth said...

"Train, Train... take my head off of messily"

metalgarth said...

Charlie tried to comprehend "one point perspective" and "vanishing points" by using osmosis

Submariner said...

The trick for most members of the Legislature is not whether or not they're asleep at the job - they are. Instead it is simply one of facing the right way so that when they finally startle awake - they'll be able to see what's coming at them.

Submariner said...

Congressional aide? Would it be too presumptious to hope these are a "bullet" train's tracks?

Submariner said...

In Soviet Russia; brakeman IS routing switch...

Mr. Right said...

"You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death..."

dadoctah said...

Few who had tried to use it for travel were surprised to learn that this had not a smidgeon of effect on Amtrak's on-time record.

(wv: morshe. What's going to happen to his head when the 3:15 comes through.)

Submariner said...

"dear."
"moose."
"I'm sure they're dear."
"Wrong - I'm certain they're moose."
Alfred grew tired of the blond's argument over what kind of tracks they found and settled in for a nap...

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Mattress Discounters' partnership with a sleep disorder clinic owned by Dr. Kevorkian resulted in some really odd television commercials.

-or-

Investors are taught not to stand in the way of an oncoming train. At Futility Hedge Funds, we don't throw in the towel... we roll it up and make a comfy pillow.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Stevie had a one track mind... about a mile and half long according to the coroner.

Matt the K said...

ORA for metalgarth:
"Hall of Douchebag"

Army of Dad said...

Bum's thought bubble: At least I won't have to see Tuesday posts from now on!

Submariner said...

Carpe Phlogiston said...
Stevie had a one track mind... about a mile and half long according to the coroner.
That is just outstanding, Carpe - early nominee for Best of '09

Adjustah said...

"When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel...hey, no seriously you guys, what is that whistling sound?"

dub said...

Raul is exhausted after laying out 4,000 coke lines for Courtney Loves birthday party.

mpur said...

Fortunately for this guy, the trains do not run on time under the Obama administration.

molson said...

All aboard! The "Hope and Change" express leaves in five minutes.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I am honored, submariner! I swear, the check's really in the mail.At the funeral, a village elder offered somber parting words-
The Good News: Being 1/16th Cherokee gave Thundering Headache the amazing ability to identify locomotives by type and how many cars they were pulling.
The Bad News: He had a lousy sense of direction... and narcolepsy.