1. The American taxpayer gratefully accepts his $8 a week temporary tax relief from the Obamassiah and rests secure in the knowledge that nothing can possibly go wrong.
2. Snidely Whiplash isn't even trying these days.
3. ORA: "Boy, those Ace of Spades Morons sure were nice to share their Valu-Rite vodka with me. I wonder what the catch is."
4. Fox scores a surprise reality hit with Trains versus Hobos, even though the outcome of the match was seldom surprising.
5. Vanilla Ice reflects on his career.
Wicked Supreme Best of Mr. Hankey
Obama's Schoolhouse Rock - "Conjuction Junction, What's Your Function?? "Sleeping all day and getting a handout...""
Best of Matt the K
After being shooed away from sleeping in the trash compactor, bear trap, and firing range, Otis Campbell finally gets some peace and quiet.
Best of The Man
The governor of new york didn't see this metaphor coming
Best of mklasing
This week on "Caught On Tape": GM Union employees working hard during the morning shift.
Best of Army of Dad
It's cool, he is wearing his yellow hat for safety!
Best of Matt the K
Juan's sleep number is Narrow Gauge.
Best of metalgarth
Charlie tried to comprehend "one point perspective" and "vanishing points" by using osmosis
Best of Submariner
The trick for most members of the Legislature is not whether or not they're asleep at the job - they are. Instead it is simply one of facing the right way so that when they finally startle awake - they'll be able to see what's coming at them.
Best of Mr. Right
"You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death..."
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Stevie had a one track mind... about a mile and half long according to the coroner.
Best of Adjustah
"When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel...hey, no seriously you guys, what is that whistling sound?"
Best of dub
Raul is exhausted after laying out 4,000 coke lines for Courtney Loves birthday party.
38 comments:
Rex Kramer Danger Seeker made a fatal mistake by coming out of retirement; they carry automatic weapons in Compton these days.
"Iron Horse Coming."
"We know 'Lays', its about 50 yards away."
Absolutely nobody in the tribe was impressed with Lays His Head on Rail's skills.
Mongo's cousin Chongo don't care where choo-choo go. Chongo only dumbass in game of life.
After being shooed away from sleeping in the trash compactor, bear trap, and firing range, Otis Campbell finally gets some peace and quiet.
Sure, we can unionize T.S.A. without any ill effects; the railroads have unions, and look at them!
You're a taxpayer? Yeah, that's as good a place as any to wait for your bail-out.
Obama's Schoolhouse Rock - "Conjuction Junction, What's Your Function?? "Sleeping all day and getting a handout...""
Wait'll you see this guy's "track marks" later...
The governor of new york didn't see this metaphor coming
With Sir Topham Hat passed out, Thomas knew his chance had finally come to show how useful an engine he could be.
No, No, No! You're supposed to sleep on a bed of NAILS.
This week on "Caught On Tape": GM Union employees working hard during the morning shift.
FAST TRACKIN UR K-REAR: UR DOIN IT RONG
I've been sleeping on the railroad, all the live long day...
Asleep on the switch.
He's going off the rails of this lazy train!
It's cool, he is wearing his yellow hat for safety!
Homeless Bob figured he'd lay some pennies on the rail and see what happens. He just neglected taking them out of his ear first.
Juan's sleep number is Narrow Gauge.
"Train, Train... take my head off of messily"
Charlie tried to comprehend "one point perspective" and "vanishing points" by using osmosis
The trick for most members of the Legislature is not whether or not they're asleep at the job - they are. Instead it is simply one of facing the right way so that when they finally startle awake - they'll be able to see what's coming at them.
Congressional aide? Would it be too presumptious to hope these are a "bullet" train's tracks?
In Soviet Russia; brakeman IS routing switch...
"You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death..."
Few who had tried to use it for travel were surprised to learn that this had not a smidgeon of effect on Amtrak's on-time record.
(wv: morshe. What's going to happen to his head when the 3:15 comes through.)
"dear."
"moose."
"I'm sure they're dear."
"Wrong - I'm certain they're moose."Alfred grew tired of the blond's argument over what kind of tracks they found and settled in for a nap...
Mattress Discounters' partnership with a sleep disorder clinic owned by Dr. Kevorkian resulted in some really odd television commercials.
-or-
Investors are taught not to stand in the way of an oncoming train. At Futility Hedge Funds, we don't throw in the towel... we roll it up and make a comfy pillow.
Stevie had a one track mind... about a mile and half long according to the coroner.
ORA for metalgarth:
"Hall of Douchebag"
Bum's thought bubble: At least I won't have to see Tuesday posts from now on!
Carpe Phlogiston said...
Stevie had a one track mind... about a mile and half long according to the coroner.That is just outstanding, Carpe - early nominee for Best of '09
"When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I feel...hey, no seriously you guys, what is that whistling sound?"
Raul is exhausted after laying out 4,000 coke lines for Courtney Loves birthday party.
Fortunately for this guy, the trains do not run on time under the Obama administration.
All aboard! The "Hope and Change" express leaves in five minutes.
I am honored, submariner! I swear, the check's really in the mail.At the funeral, a village elder offered somber parting words-
The Good News: Being 1/16th Cherokee gave Thundering Headache the amazing ability to identify locomotives by type and how many cars they were pulling.
The Bad News: He had a lousy sense of direction... and narcolepsy.
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