1. "Oh, crap... the souls of those I've wronged have returned to drag me into the lake of damnation... again."
2. The real reason Charles Widmore was exiled from the island... forgetting to seal the hatch on the submarine.
3. "Who wants candy?"
4. "So, the hands represent the public drowning in a sea of deficits and the befuddled old man represents... the government? the media? the international Jewish conspiracy? What?" --- Even Pat Oliphant's editors didn't understand what he was trying to say any more.
5. Earl would come to regret spending his vacation at Lake Zombie.
Best of Army of Dad
"Nope, none of them are Jesus either."
Best of metalgarth
Tim Burton and David Lynch present 'Aquaman'
Best of flyovercountry
Al Gore's vision of the world in 10 years. No more land, and everyone has gills, except John McCain, who likes to feed the very few who voted for him.
Best of dub
REPENT FOR THE WICKEDNESS THAT HAS BECOME YOUR LIFE! REPENT FOR BEING SICK INTERCOURSES! REPENT FOR TAKING THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN! REPENT FOR....FOR....uh oh, I think I just crapped my pants.
Best of Jack Reacher
"If this water level doesn't rise, everyone's gonna know what I did last summer."
Best of dadoctah
Dr Evil sends his three surviving genetic engineers in for one more try. This time, *someone* had better produce a shark with a frickin' laser beam on its head!
Best of prince of leaves
A disturbing scene from the new film of H.G. Wells' lost prequel, "The Quaint Lakeside Summer Cottage of Doctor Moreau".
Best of dub
World Record Bukkake...SUMTHIN LIKE THAT.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Goodbye, little buddy!"Finally, the Skipper decided the hell with everyone, stole the professor's raft, christened it Minnow2, caught a good wave and drifted away from that damned uncharted desert island as the others desperately tried to follow. The End.
Best of Mr. Hankey
"Simon Says...Stop Drowning. Ooooh Sally didn't stop drowning so she's out of the game."
Best of Kaptain Krude
"You damn punk kids get off my damn lawn!"
Best of Rodney Dill
Larry still had never decided between boxers and briefs, let alone who to save first.