1. "Oh, crap... the souls of those I've wronged have returned to drag me into the lake of damnation... again."
2. The real reason Charles Widmore was exiled from the island... forgetting to seal the hatch on the submarine.
3. "Who wants candy?"
4. "So, the hands represent the public drowning in a sea of deficits and the befuddled old man represents... the government? the media? the international Jewish conspiracy? What?" --- Even Pat Oliphant's editors didn't understand what he was trying to say any more.
5. Earl would come to regret spending his vacation at Lake Zombie.
Best of Army of Dad
"Nope, none of them are Jesus either."
Best of metalgarth
Tim Burton and David Lynch present 'Aquaman'
Best of flyovercountry
Al Gore's vision of the world in 10 years. No more land, and everyone has gills, except John McCain, who likes to feed the very few who voted for him.
Best of dub
REPENT FOR THE WICKEDNESS THAT HAS BECOME YOUR LIFE! REPENT FOR BEING SICK INTERCOURSES! REPENT FOR TAKING THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN! REPENT FOR....FOR....uh oh, I think I just crapped my pants.
Best of Jack Reacher
"If this water level doesn't rise, everyone's gonna know what I did last summer."
Best of dadoctah
Dr Evil sends his three surviving genetic engineers in for one more try. This time, *someone* had better produce a shark with a frickin' laser beam on its head!
Best of prince of leaves
A disturbing scene from the new film of H.G. Wells' lost prequel, "The Quaint Lakeside Summer Cottage of Doctor Moreau".
Best of dub
World Record Bukkake...SUMTHIN LIKE THAT.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Goodbye, little buddy!"Finally, the Skipper decided the hell with everyone, stole the professor's raft, christened it Minnow2, caught a good wave and drifted away from that damned uncharted desert island as the others desperately tried to follow. The End.
Best of Mr. Hankey
"Simon Says...Stop Drowning. Ooooh Sally didn't stop drowning so she's out of the game."
Best of Kaptain Krude
"You damn punk kids get off my damn lawn!"
Best of Rodney Dill
Larry still had never decided between boxers and briefs, let alone who to save first.
59 comments:
Let's al give him a hand!
Even in his old age, Snape never wanted to call on Hermione's children.
Howie Mandel tried desperately to figure out which arm has the million dollar case attached to it.
ManShark: Terror in the lakes, next on Sci-Fi!
"Eenie meanie miny mo..."
"One of these hands is not like the other, one of these hands just doesn't belong..."
"Trick or treat, drown at my feet who wants something good to eat?"
(for AoM)
Come sail away, come sail away.
Oh for heavens sake just sail away with him already!
I wonder if I should give them the inflatable life jackets in the plastic bag?
"Nope, none of them are Jesus either."
Synchronized drowning at the Special Olympics. Winners never repeat.
Are daft? Help them onto the raft!
Budget cuts to the Olympic Synchronized Swimming Team became appearant in 2024
Tim Burton and David Lynch present 'Aquaman'
The recuring nightmare of Ted Kennedy is unfortunately still not making sense to him as he prepairs to fire another psychoanalist.
The taxpayers underwater now know the feeling of how social security payroll taxes are going to feel in a few years.
Al Gore's vision of the world in 10 years. No more land, and everyone has gills, except John McCain, who likes to feed the very few who voted for him.
Hey guys, I think you overloaded your boat.
REPENT FOR THE WICKEDNESS THAT HAS BECOME YOUR LIFE! REPENT FOR BEING SICK INTERCOURSES! REPENT FOR TAKING THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN! REPENT FOR....FOR....uh oh, I think I just crapped my pants.
"Whaddya know. Those seat-cushion flotation aids? Not all that effective."
"If this water level doesn't rise, everyone's gonna know what I did last summer."
The witch doesn't float...but does she weigh the same as a duck?
Noah's raft just didn't have the same effect.
And Bob thought that watching his grandchildren drown in debt was just a metaphor.
"Make up your damn minds. Did you come here to screw around or did you come here to fish?"
Dr Evil sends his three surviving genetic engineers in for one more try. This time, *someone* had better produce a shark with a frickin' laser beam on its head!
More would-be saviors...
The DNC chairman conducts a group interview for the 2016 democratic presidential nominee.
A disturbing scene from the new film of H.G. Wells' lost prequel, "The Quaint Lakeside Summer Cottage of Doctor Moreau".
Even calling Mark Spitz out of retirement was no use - there was just no teaching the reincarnation of Kali how to swim.
2010 - The Professor finally makes a damn boat, but Gilligan, Skipper and all the rest keep falling off.
Looking to take on the Chinese, Fred started his own synchronized swimming school out in the late.
Depends...URS R LEEKIN!!
World Record Bukkake...SUMTHIN LIKE THAT.
This is taking your pee fetish just a little bit too far grandpa.
Why the Olympic Games will never be held in Latvia.
Summer fun at Camp Jonestown, Guyana.
Huckleberry Dimm.
ORA:
"We're so sorry Uncle Albert, that we ruined your microphone recording underwater."
Proud Larry keep on rollin'
"Goodbye, little buddy!"Finally, the Skipper decided the hell with everyone, stole the professor's raft, christened it Minnow2, caught a good wave and drifted away from that damned uncharted desert island as the others desperately tried to follow. The End.
Man, Kevin Costner has really let himself go.
We have sad news to report - Approx. 90% of the cast drowned in a botched attempt to demonstrate that the Verizon Network could help a senior citizen chat with his grandkid Timmy from the middle of Lake Erie.
"Simon Says...Stop Drowning. Ooooh Sally didn't stop drowning so she's out of the game."
Games at the AIG 2009 Summer Party.
"Now, I'm supposed to be doing something. Uh - can't think of what it is. So many distractions. And what the hell is up with all of these hands?" Frank's Alzheimer's picked an unfortunate time to kick in.
"When I damned well say I'm not interested in Ron damn Paul, you damn punk kids better damn BELIEVE I'm not damn interested in Ron damn Paul!"
"You damn punk kids get off my damn lawn!"
Mr. Wilson had finally had enough of that Mitchell kid and his little followers Joey, Margaret, and Gina. Truth to tell, he'd even had enough of Mrs. Wilson, too.
"Let's see those jazz hands. Jazz hands, damnit, or you'll never see these Easter Peeps again!"
Worst synchronized swimming coach ever.
Larry still had never decided between boxers and briefs, let alone who to save first.
No, no, no! You call those Jazz Water Hands?!!...Once more from the top!
Larry's Swimming for Deaf-Mute Kids Classes ran into a little snag.
At the annual Christ reunion following the walk on water event, uncle Jimmy once again contemplates the widely held belief of him actually being the last scion.
"Get thee to Nineveh."
"Hmmm...lets see. Yeah, the see-ment blocks should have been heavy enough...aw damn, them ropes was too short!"
--Why there is no Mafia in South Carolina.
"Errr... I meant too long! Always get them two messed up."
ORA?
Chumming at Lake Placid was a full-contact sport...
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