Monday, March 16, 2009

So Simple A Caveman Can Do It

Semper Gumby

1. I don't wanna say this guy is ugly, but if you cut off his hand, you can make three tragically ironic wishes.

2. "But I don't wanna be captioned!" The monkey-man insisted, scratching frantically to try and break out of the jpg.

3. And now to explain how Global Climate Change threatens us all with annihilation, I present Al Gore's good friend and mentor, Dr. Zaius.

4. From the front row of the press conference, Helen Thomas screeches for Obama's attention.

5. Senor Wences FAIL!

Best of Army of Dad
"If you do not ruin your economy with the cap and trade scheme I will stalk you from the shadows and growl at you like this, ARGH!"

Best of dadoctah
Okay, I take it back. Andrew Jackson's *not* the ugliest possible guy to have on our currency.

Best of Jay Guevara
Brad Pitt: "All I did was reach out and touch Henry Waxman, and poof! next thing I knew..."

Best of Army of Mom
He's either doing a Baylor University Sic 'em, Bears or he had a stroke. I'm going with stroke.

Best of prince of leaves
Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) talks to reporters after being freed from six months' captivity at the hands of his crazy wife Monica.

Best of prince of leaves
Where will *you* be when your recessive hominid DNA kicks in?

Best of Jay Guevara
"No, see? I can't quite oppose my thumb. Why do you ask?"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Geico, Geico, Geico! I swear, if hear the word Geico one! more! time!, I will crush them with my mighty claw-hand!"

Best of Seoulman (R)
he's creepy and he's kooky
mysterious and spooky

Best of Natasha
"MEOW! RAWRR!" Halle Berry did not age well since Catwoman.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Henri Blogett pours his heart out to a crowd of fellow nerds about his dream of squeezing just one boobie.

Best of Matt the K
Ever since Filmation cancelled "Masters of the Universe", BeastMan has had to scrape a living on the lecture circuit.

Best of Adjustah
Fans for Michael Jackson's "Final Tour" were sorely disappointed..."

47 comments:

Army of Dad said...

All ur capchins belong to us.

Army of Dad said...

I didn't think the girl with the HAZMAT sign was serious until now.

Army of Dad said...

Scary IRS agent begins reaching for your wallet.

Army of Dad said...

ORA: Touch of Death!

Army of Dad said...

Watch out for monkey man's other hand!

Army of Dad said...

Yes Senator, I had a full head of jet black hair until I reached out like this and touched Hillary's breast.

Army of Dad said...

"If you do not ruin your economy with the cap and trade scheme I will stalk you from the shadows and growl at you like this, ARGH!"

The Man said...

beware of the claw

dadoctah said...

Okay, I take it back. Andrew Jackson's *not* the ugliest possible guy to have on our currency.

mklasing said...

2012: As part of his new plan for the war on terror, Obama offers a lecuring position at Columbia University to Osama bin Laden.

Jack Reacher said...

"Hey good-lookin', I'll be back to pick you up later!"

Jay Guevara said...

Brad Pitt: "All I did was reach out and touch Henry Waxman, and poof! next thing I knew..."

Oiao said...

The look to aspire to to become prominant at the UN.

Army of Mom said...

BRAINZ!

Army of Mom said...

Ceiling cat just threw up a little in his mouth.

Army of Mom said...

He's either doing a Baylor University Sic 'em, Bears or he had a stroke. I'm going with stroke.

Army of Mom said...

Hokey pokey: UR DOIN IT RONG!

Army of Mom said...

dub demonstrates how he likes to feel the tiny breasts of Karen Carpenter-looking women.

prince of leaves said...

Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) talks to reporters after being freed from six months' captivity at the hands of his crazy wife Monica.

prince of leaves said...

Biologists in South Korea today stunned the world with their announcement of the first resurrection cloning of an extinct Neanderthal.

prince of leaves said...

Where will *you* be when your recessive hominid DNA kicks in?

prince of leaves said...

"And with just a twist of this knob here, the Large Hadron Collider will become fully opera--" |-|world ends|-|

Jay Guevara said...

Is there such a thing as too good-looking?

Jay Guevara said...

"I'm too good-looking for ...for...uh...lemme get back to you on that one."

Jay Guevara said...

NOW rolls out its poster boy for sexual harrassment.

steve O said...

Imprisoned in a mask for over 30 years, Dave Obama speaks to the public for the first time.

Jay Guevara said...

As this guy rose to give his speech, Darwinists began to have second thoughts.

Jay Guevara said...

"No, see? I can't quite oppose my thumb. Why do you ask?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Why does everybody keep shouting 'Get your filthy hands off me, you damn dirty ape' and run off, I wonder?"

Kaptain Krude said...

"Geico, Geico, Geico! I swear, if hear the word Geico one! more! time!, I will crush them with my mighty claw-hand!"

Seoulman (R) said...

The director of the Monkees remake wanted a more literal approach

Seoulman (R) said...

he's creepy and he's kooky
mysterious and spooky

Seoulman (R) said...

Rogaine extra-strength was recalled yesterday after doctors discovered mysterious side effects

Natasha said...

"MEOW! RAWRR!"

Halle Berry did not age well since Catwoman.

Seoulman (R) said...

Apparently, playground science was wrong. It isn't your palms that get hairy

Seoulman (R) said...

The star of Bollywood's version of Helter Skelter speaks on playing Charles Manson

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Skin experts weren't surprised that George Harrison's body suddenly and catastrophically deteriorated after one too many suntan salon visits.

-OR-

Little Known Hollywood Factoid
The Indian werewolf boy, now all grown up, demonstrates Mr. Spock's Vulcan Death Grip as part of a warm up act in Vegas.

-OR-

Henri Blogett pours his heart out to a crowd of fellow nerds about his dream of squeezing just one boobie.

Matt the K said...

"I got your Missing Link right here-- RAAARRR!!!"

Jay Guevara said...

Reach out, reach out and touch someone...else.

dadoctah said...

"I've been surfing icanhascheezburger.com for so long my mouse hand is all cramped up."

Matt the K said...

Ever since Filmation cancelled "Masters of the Universe", BeastMan has had to scrape a living on the lecture circuit.

Adjustah said...

Fans for Michael Jackson's "Final Tour" were sorely disappointed..."

WF: Matica. No. No. No. Ees YOUR Tica...

Rodney Dill said...

"...the claw is the master... I have been chosen... I go to a better place..."

Submariner said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Submariner said...

"...and I think it patently unfair that The One, peas be upon him, not share public bj's from underaged middle-schoolers with his loyal Islamic brothers as part of our stimulus package."

Submariner said...

"...and then the Arafish, he grab my package like this, and he twist hard..."
Confessions of a Bodyguard Pal coming soon to a Barnes & Nobles near you!

Submariner said...

Coco demonstrates his poo-flinging technique.