Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Inflatable Scrotum Guy Relaxes in His Rec Room

Army of Mom


1. Three months after Christmas, Santa still had one big package left to deliver.

2. "And as you can see, this home features a partially finished basement that would be perfect for a rec room or sexual torture chamber."

3. *It* had lasted more than four hours, but gramps was too embarrassed to go to the hospital.

4. "Oh, Hey! Futurama's on."

5. The family had always suspected that grandpa's extensive collection of Nazi memorabilia had little to do with serving on the Eiger Front.

Best of dub
Introducing, Army Of Grandpa.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Hey Barney, come on up! You're not done! There's an emergency roll call vote on really screwing up the economy!"

Best of Maogwai
Weird "Uncle" Bruce has a little "Captain" in him and wants to share...

Best of dadoctah
Now that Norm Abrams' replacement is here, we can do something about covering up these chipboard panels.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Dr. Bernie always tries to lighten the mood when a new patient is diagnosed with elephantiasis.

Best of Silhouette
"Gramps, when I said Duct Tape was the solution to your broken clothes washer, I meant..."

Best of Jay Guevara
"Does this outfit make my butt look big?"
"Don't worry about it."

Best of Army of Dad
Tired of battling graboids, Bert Gummer turns to a new hobby.

Best of mklasing
Barney Frank's first idea for a Stimulus Package: FAIL

Best of Dactyl
Gary forgot to include pockets in his cosplay outfit and dangit, his wallet, keys, iphone, chewing gum, and spare hat had to go somewhere.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
UPDATE: Needless to say, rubber boots were the ungainly work-around to a persistent problem he had with leakage.

Best of Rodney Dill
It rubs the lotion on its skin,
or it gets goatse.cx again

Best of dwhawk
Jane Fonda and Chi Chi LaRue present "Return to Golden Pond"

Best of Matt the K
Welcome to the basement of Homo Depot. Let's Fist Something Together™

Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
Actually, Mr. Leprechaun, you can keep your lucky charms....

Best of sonicfrog
Watchmen II doesn't look to be nearly as compelling as the first one.

58 comments:

dub said...

Introducing, Army Of Grandpa.

Jay Guevara said...

"Hey Barney, come on up! You're not done! There's an emergency roll call vote on really screwing up the economy!"

Matt the K said...

It likes to put the lotion AND it likes to get the hose.

Matt the K said...

"Faith and bugger-aura" said the more-than-wee leprechaun.

Matt the K said...

WHY??? Part 3.

Maogwai said...

Weird "Uncle" Bruce has a little "Captain" in him and wants to share...

Submariner said...

And the winner of this year's San Franciso Division 'What Can YOU Do With Duct Tape' contest is..."

dadoctah said...

Where will you be when *your*...? Oh, the hell with it.

dadoctah said...

Now that Norm Abrams' replacement is here, we can do something about covering up these chipboard panels.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Todd's the sick intercourse who play Daddy, the senile WWI vet in the Americanized version of British sitcom Keeping Up Appearances. Accoding to TMZ, he successfully nailed Hyacinth, Rose, Daisy, Elizabeth AND the vicar's wife before FOX cancelled the show.

WordVerify: ficit - what you do when you brakit

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Dr. Bernie always tries to lighten the mood when a new patient is diagnosed with elephantiasis.

metalgarth said...

"Brokeback Patton"

Silhouette said...

"Gramps, when I said Duct Tape was the solution to your broken clothes washer, I meant..."

Army of Dad said...

Jolly Green Giant was dub's stage name until he was brought up on charges of false advertising.

Army of Dad said...

In this lost episode of The Dukes of Hazzard Uncle Jesse shows Cletus just what he has on under his overalls.

Army of Dad said...

Performance art paid for with a grant from NEA.

Army of Dad said...

The Ang Lee remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers had a new costume for the pod people.

Army of Dad said...

Porn stars get old, but never seem to go away.

Army of Dad said...

Cinderfella gets ready to scrub the toilets.

Army of Dad said...

In Pulp Fiction 3 the gimp's father returns to save his son.

Army of Dad said...

Oh those crazy Canadians.

Pendark said...

Visiting uncle dick was never quite the same after aunt may died.

Jay Guevara said...

"Where da white perverts at?"

Jay Guevara said...

"Does this outfit make my butt look big?"

"Don't worry about it."

Jay Guevara said...

Members of the Democratic Caucus enjoy a good double entendre.

Army of Dad said...

Tired of battling graboids, Bert Gummer turns to a new hobby.

mklasing said...

Tonight on a very special "Blossom"...

mklasing said...

Unfortunately, Mr. Heston died before finishing "Planet of the Apes 4: Now it's Personal".

dadoctah said...

Every year he sends his application in to join the Justice League. Every year, when they get to the part where he describes his super powers, they send it back.

mklasing said...

Barney Frank's first idea for a Stimulus Package: FAIL

Dactyl said...

Coming in 2010: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, directed by Ang Lee.
(AOD kinda beat me to this one.)

Dactyl said...

Gary forgot to include pockets in his cosplay outfit and dangit, his wallet, keys, iphone, chewing gum, and spare hat had to go somewhere.

Dactyl said...

Uh, Dave, I think you misunderstood about the gerbil.

Dactyl said...

Where will you be when, er, actually I don't think that was a laxative.

Chrees said...

"Has it been over 4 hours yet?"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

From our "If at 1st you don't succeed, TRY TRY AGAIN Dept"
Thomas Crapper did not invent the flush toilet. He invented the ballcock that sped adoption of indoor plumbing. He's seen here posing with a rudimentary ballcock invention, an early porta-potty intended for men who love to drink but hate frequent walks to the bathroom.
It never caught on.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

UPDATE: Needless to say, rubber boots were the ungainly work-around to a persistent problem he had with leakage.

Rodney Dill said...

It rubs the lotion on its skin,
or it gets goatse.cx again

Rodney Dill said...

Isn't my white cloak and hood done drying yet?

Rodney Dill said...

Somewhere in Livonia...

dwhawk said...

Jane Fonda and Chi Chi LaRue present "Return to Golden Pond"

Jack Reacher said...

Civil War Memorials that didn't make the cut, Part I.

Rodney Dill said...

"I was the cockteaser at RoosterRama."

Rodney Dill said...

"Etta! Have you seen my teeth?"

Julie the Jarhead said...

Rare still from a deleted scene from "The Sound of Music."

Mr. Hankey said...

Zardoz makes his exit before the townspeople can ask "who was that hatted man?"

Mr. Hankey said...

"So is that an outside faucet cover - or are yuo just happy to see the show?"

Matt the K said...

Lets try this again...

'It likes to put the lotion on its skin AND it likes to get the hose.'


wv: impotard

Perfect description for this freek...

Matt the K said...

"No, on second thought, DON'T wake the Gimp for this one."

Matt the K said...

You should hire that Crazy Bill's Extermination service.
He walks into the basement and just SCARES the bugs into leaving.

Matt the K said...

Welcome to the basement of Homo Depot. Let's Fist Something Together™

Matt the K said...

The Green Arrow got kinda freaky in his later years...

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Actually, Mr. Leprechaun, you can keep your lucky charms....

Mr. Hankey said...

When Barney Frank heard that guards had been posted outside all AIG executive's houses - he decided he needed one too.

Submariner said...

Green Lantern; Bizarro World

sonicfrog said...

Watchmen II doesn't look to be nearly as compelling as the first one.

Submariner said...

What passes for haute couture in the Castro district...

Submariner said...

"Hey dub; c'mon upstairs. It's time for dinner..."