Friday, March 27, 2009

I Call This One "Dub's Nightmare"

Metalgarth and Van Helsing


1. "Blast our luck! Another All You Can Eat cafeteria goes out of business just as we show up!"

2. "We are exactly the correct weight... for an aircraft carrier."

3. The Fight Club looked forward to supplying their soap business for years to come.

4. "So, Captain Kirk, you say you and the pointy eared fella want to take my daughters into the future to communicate with an alien probe?" (ORA? IDK.)

5. If America used Pounds instead of Dollars as currency, this is what Obama's deficits would look like.

Best of Jack Reacher
The final refutation of Paul Erlich's predictions of famine in America.

Best of Jack Reacher
"Would you like to super-size your order...oh, right."

Best of Army of Mom
Family photos from the Michelin Man's Facebook profile.

Best of Artfldgr
they are tired for being mistaken for volkswagons jockying for position on sunday walks.

Best of Matt the K
BEHOLD: The World's Strongest Front Porch.

Best of dadoctah
"Big People, Little World"

Best of Pendark
The rest of the Family ties clan reunites for a very special reunion episode on the Hallmark channel.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Okay, we've met the Huckabees. Now it's time to meet their challengers, next on 'Family Feud'!"

Best of Jay Guevara
All four in unison: "You gonna eat that?"

Best of steve o
The Fellmens were the only four survivors of a 192 day odyssey when their 747 went down in the remote mountains of Chile with 248 passengers and crew on board.

Best of Kaptain Krude
Biff Thompson skidded to a halt. The Omnivorous Maximus he had been hunting had run into three of the she-beasts in a dead-end cove, and together they had turned to face the approaching danger. Biff realized that he had been crashing through the underbrush in his enthusiasm to catch his intended prey, and now he realized that the scales of advantage had shifted, and not to his favor. Nervously, he took mental stock of his ammo, and realized that he was either going to be in for the longest afternoon of his life, or the shortest.

Best of jeff
They're on the Dole....and the Del Monte, the Stouffers, the Pillsbury's, the Chef Boyardee...

64 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

The final refutation of Paul Erlich's predictions of famine in America.

Jack Reacher said...

"Would you like to super-size your order...oh, right."

Oiao said...

There are more chins in this photo than the Hong Kong phone book.

Army of Mom said...

When they sit around the house, they really sit AROUND the house.

Army of Mom said...

Family photos from the Michelin Man's Facebook profile.

Dactyl said...

"So, Captain Kirk, you say you and the pointy eared fella want to take my daughters into the future to communicate with an alien probe?" (ORA? IDK.)

Yes, it's true, these things will be extinct in the future.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Silly rabbit, Trix are for... Hey, where'd that rabbit go, anyway?"

wv: adombies - What the people who watch the Super Bowl only for the commercials are.

Matt the K said...

Richard Simmons wept.

Matt the K said...

Gene Simmons would still tag that, though.

Matt the K said...

...Maybe the ABBA reunion was not such a good idea after all...

Artfldgr said...

the more distant elements of Barneys family never really cared to be known

Artfldgr said...

they are tired for being mistaken for volkswagons jockying for position on sunday walks.

Matt the K said...

You know, Dub was thinking about doin' the chick on the right, but the bleach blonde hair was a deal-breaker.

Artfldgr said...

Lydia oh Lydia say have you met lydia...

Artfldgr said...

It wasnt just the one child that had problems with Wonkas candies...

Matt the K said...

BEHOLD: The World's Strongest Front Porch.

Matt the K said...

All your tater tot are belong to us.

Artfldgr said...

how do they wipe their arses?

Artfldgr said...

Sarah the brunette was always jealous of amy the blond as amy had a hip she could rest her hand on.

Submariner said...

OJA:

Daddy musta found the right wrinkle at least twice...





ATDHE (And the DUB'S head exxploded...)

mpur said...

Another Fattenrude family reunion photo.

On the upside, they're far too thin to be on food stamps.

dadoctah said...

"Big People, Little World"

dadoctah said...

Line them all up and it spells "OOOO".

wv: horsolec. Cholesterol for dyslexics.

dadoctah said...

And Wisconsin thinks *they're* America's Dairyland!

molson said...

Body by Big Mac times four.

Pendark said...

The rest of the Family ties clan reunites for a very special reunion episode on the Hallmark channel.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Okay, we've met the Huckabees. Now it's time to meet their challengers, next on 'Family Feud'!"

metalgarth said...

Poppin' Fresh? Nope we haven't *burp* seen him around here

metalgarth said...

"Body by Hormel"

metalgarth said...

Every so often someone takes heavy metal song lyrics too seriously and ruins their life. For this guy it was "BIG BOTTOM... BIG BOTTOM... TALK ABOUT MUDFLAPS MY GIRLS GOT 'EM"

Mr Hankey said...

Why Match.com doesn't confirm if the pictures are real...

Jay Guevara said...

"Does this make me look..."

"Yes. Oh hell yes!"

Jay Guevara said...

Scientists today reported the first crossing of humans with manatees.

Jay Guevara said...

I'd calculate their BMI, but I'm afraid my calculator would blow up.

Jay Guevara said...

"They say Obama needs to gain gravitas. It's easy; just eat lots of Ho-Hos and Doritos."

Jay Guevara said...

All four in unison: "You gonna eat that?"

Matt the K said...

I'm not saying this family's fat, but they buy their clothes at the awning & banner shop.

steve o said...

Their wheels? A lowrider Prius that gets 12 mpg.


wv: eators
I'm not even kidding.

steve o said...

The Fellmens were the only four survivors of a 192 day odyssey when their 747 went down in the remote mountains of Chile with 248 passengers and crew on board.

steve o said...

So my buddy Jack tells me that he's dating three honeys at once.

I tell him "They're like buses!"

He says, "I know what you mean...you wait forever, and then they all come at once!"

I said, "No...THEY are like BUSES!"

(a Jimmy Carr joke)

Rodney Dill said...

With universal health care dictating censures on the fat and obese -- Figgers become the new second class citizens.

Atomic Lib Smasher said...

These are the types of people that go to a resturant look at the menu and say "OK".

Kaptain Krude said...

Biff Thompson skidded to a halt. The Omnivorous Maximus he had been hunting had run into three of the she-beasts in a dead-end cove, and together they had turned to face the approaching danger. Biff realized that he had been crashing through the underbrush in his enthusiasm to catch his intended prey, and now he realized that the scales of advantage had shifted, and not to his favor. Nervously, he took mental stock of his ammo, and realized that he was either going to be in for the longest afternoon of his life, or the shortest.

duke of red said...

"Googenheim, party of four please."

"Yes, and we're hongry."

duke of red said...

Matt the K said: All your tater tot are belong to us.

I almost pissed myself, dude. Great caption!

Submariner said...

If this was a dub family reunion, it would explain a lot...

Army of Dad said...

All the girls in da house holla 'HO', say 'HO-HO', let me hear ya yell 'TWINKIE'!

Rap is a very versatile medium, or in this case XXXL.

Army of Dad said...

CHeck out all the XXXL action next on Spike!

Army of Dad said...

The real reason why Cinderella was punished what that she was such a skinny bitch.

Army of Dad said...

The farmers daughters. A very ppor farmer who didn't have any crops left to sell.

Army of Dad said...

The Roll family claims that being fat just runs in the family.

Army of Dad said...

No one knows if they are pregnant again or not.

Mr. Hankey said...

Silda Spitzer presents new secretary applicants for Eliot to consider.

Mr. Hankey said...

If the unions ran Playboy...

Army of Dad said...

Dear Rod Stewart, I hear that you are a lover of large breasts. Both of my daughters are your biggest fans and would really like to meet you at your next concert. Please see attached family photo.

Army of Dad said...

Standard Cap #1: Subby, SOTG your prom dates are here.

Submariner said...

You wouldn't think it's so funny if you had a combined family BMI of 21.5 until some frakkin' witch doctor got out of the boat...

jeff said...

Britannia Rules The Sleaze.

They're on the Dole....and the Del Monte, the Stouffers, the Pillsbury's, the Chef Boyardee...

(girls) "We get our good looks from our mother."

Riots broke out in England after the news was released that this family would be on Big Brother - and would indulge in the hot tub.

Artfldgr said...

Cows arent the only animals that can make methane...

Artfldgr said...

upon eating the last cannoli the concentration of mass became so high, that the connoly family became stuck together.

Jay Guevara said...

Paradise: "Here ya go, Mohammed. Ya got another 68 comin', but we'll give you a voucher. You go boy!"

Rodney Dill said...

Benny Craig's Diet Plan

Julie the Jarhead said...

If you see any of these people on an elevator -- don't get on!

Mr. Hankey said...

Scenes before the riot began in line at the "America's Top Model" tryouts.