Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Holy Father and the Righteous Dude


1. "Dude! My mom totally has that same outfit!"

2. "You know, Holy Father, that your faith and good works can't hide what a sick intercourse you really are."

3. "Also, Pope-dude, you're wrong about the doctrine of Sola Scriptura..." Nancy Pelosi's grandchildren visit the Vatican.

4. "Aw, we came all the way to Italy, and you're not even wearing one of your funny hats."

5. "The Pope says, 'I've always wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.' And then Clinton says, 'Sorry, Pope, you're a day late!' That one always cracks me up."

Gorram Best of Army of Dad
So that is what Alan Tudyck is up to nowadays.

Best of Jack Reacher
"You know, Christopher Hitchens says you don't exist. No, wait; it was your boss he was talking about."

Best of mega
"My son, now I will tell you my picks for the Final Four."

Best of Submariner
Blonde in purple dress' thought bubble; "I DON'T believe the Pope fell for Larry's old 'pull my finger' bit..."

Best of Double the U
Son, meet me in the rectory in an hour... bring the camera.

Best of Nose
Dude! Do you, like, have a rubber I could have? This chick on my right TOTALLY wants me.

Best of Silhouette
"Dude, tell me more about the white smoke."

Best of Prince Harry
Your Pope costume is so not better than my Nazi costume.

Best of Seoulman (R)
I used to have the same concerns, but it is amazing what viagra can do for you. Check with your doctor. The side effects include...

Best of Matt the K
"You had me at 'Dominus vobiscum'..."

Best of dub
Ceiling Cat is molesting an alter boi.

Best of sonicfrog
The Pope's thought bubble: "A little old for my tastes, but you'll do..."
David's thought bubble: "A little old for my tastes, but you'll do..."

Best of dadoctah
"The Dalai Lama sends his love and kisses, and wants to know if you still have the ABBA CDs he let you borrow."

48 comments:

Oiao said...

"Hey, I did't know Robert Gibbs is your PR guy too. No wonder your polls are way down with the flock."

Jack Reacher said...

"Wow, that IS soft."
"Well, Dove is 1/4 moisturizing cream, after all."

Jack Reacher said...

"So, ah, those Commandments--they're, like, suggestions, right?"

Jack Reacher said...

"You know, Christopher Hitchens says you don't exist. No, wait; it was your boss he was talking about."

mega said...

When Robert Gibbs appeared side-by-side with the Pope, the whole Trilateral Commission - Freemason - DaVinci Code - Skull and Bones conspiracy thing got rolling again, BIG time.

mega said...

Sally thought that dressing her breasts in sexy white satin material would provide an interesting test of the abstinence pledge.

mega said...

"My son, now I will tell you my picks for the Final Four."

Submariner said...

Blonde in purple dress' thought bubble; "I DON'T believe the Pope fell for Larry's old 'pull my finger' bit..."

Submariner said...

Yes, your Holiness; if I open my hand and find $1,000, you get BOTH of them for 2 hours..."



Yes, I'm probably spending at least a couple of years in Purgatory for that one...

Submariner said...

OK, yer Holiness, that's 50 Euros on the Lions taking Crabtree at 27:1...

Double the U said...

Son, meet me in the rectory in an hour... bring the camera.

Nose said...

Dude! Do you, like, have a rubber I could have? This chick on my right TOTALLY wants me.

Silhouette said...

"Dude, tell me more about the white smoke."

Anonymous said...

Your Pope costume is so not better than my Nazi costume.

Prince Harry

dadoctah said...

"I'm kinda swamped right now, but check out my FaceBook page. My id is 'nfallbl'."

Kaptain Krude said...

"Wow, you shake hands like a girl! You look like your grip should be firmer, if you know what I mean."

"... Thank you, Your Holiness?"

Whacko said...

"Wow, your Popeness, I'm really having a blast here in Rome! These two chicks and I had a threesome last night and now I get to meet you! Would you, like bless me so I don't get the crabs?"

Tim said...

"With lips like those you could be a cardinal, Interested?"

Double the U said...

Ohhh, my child, you are the sick intercourse I have heard so much about.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

For the rest of his woeful life of plagues and pestilence, Wilbur would wonder what possessed him to crack wise and tell the pompous one that his beanie was on backwards just to impress the cute blonde.

Maybe the devil made him do it?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Your holiness, I voted for you in the American False Idols poll on FOX!"

Thawt Bubble over the Beanied One:
"If I had a nickel for every time a sycophant told me that...."

Atomic Lib Smasher said...

Tourists to the Vatican got a special treat to not only to meet God's right hand man, Pope Benedict, but also Satan's right hand man, Robert Gibbs.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Hi, I'm Sam, an acolyte from the US who was touched all over my rectory by the hands of the lord, or so my priest claims. I was wondering... does giving liturgical services really mean a BJ?

Silhouette said...

"I loved you in all those 'Road to' movies, Mr. Hope."

Submariner said...

Uh, no son; my Priests live in a Rectory, not a rectum...

Submariner said...

Uh, no son; I cannot hook you up with some "bitchin' nuns" for Fat Tuesday...

Submariner said...

While I'm flattered, Larry, it's only the RING you're supposed to kiss...

Submariner said...

Pope Benny was surprised when Larry gave him the super secret, "I've been a ba-a-a-ad alter-boy" handshake....

dub said...

Pope thought bubble: "I CAN HAZ BUTT SEKS?"

Seoulman (R) said...

Wow, my mother has the same coat. What do you know?

Seoulman (R) said...

Oh you are serious. I haven't seen a beanie since Animal House.

Seoulman (R) said...

Thank you for visiting Vatican World. Our next show is at 3 and I can tell you it will be very exciting. I even do some magic.

Seoulman (R) said...

If you don't let go of my hand I will excommunicate you. Now smile for the cameras like me or Bruce will take you down.

Seoulman (R) said...

I used to have the same concerns, but it is amazing what viagra can do for you. Check with your doctor. The side effects include...

dadoctah said...

"Nice yarmulke, dude!"

Tim said...

for like the 1200th time in a row the pope walks right past the hot chicks to punch fists with the hot dude.

Matt the K said...

Girl on left:

"See, I TOLD you we'd get backstage."

The girls thanked their buddy Trent for slipping the Pontiff some X.

Matt the K said...

Dude, can you hook me up with this "Gloria" chick you keep talkin' about??

Matt the K said...

"You had me at 'Dominus vobiscum'..."

dub said...

Ceiling Cat is molesting an alter boi.

Army of Dad said...

So that is what Alan Tudyck is up to nowadays.

Army of Dad said...

Gorram it is the Pope! Shiny.

Army of Dad said...

"The Pope touched me, and it wasn't like that!

sonicfrog said...

The Pope's thought bubble: "A little old for my tastes, but you'll do..."

David's thought bubble: "A little old for my tastes, but you'll do..."

dadoctah said...

"The Dalai Lama sends his love and kisses, and wants to know if you still have the ABBA CDs he let you borrow."

dub said...

Security guard thought bubble: "I didnt know his robe said "Juicy" across the butt...."

jeff said...

"So, did you really meet Adolf Hitler?"

dub said...

I CAN HAZ PICTURE OF YOU SH*TTING IN THE WOODS?