Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Friend Is Someone Who'll Blow Butt Glitter on Your Tushie

Brender

1. "If this powder doesn't work, I got some WD-40 that'll get your thong out of your ass crack."

2. "I really should stop watching this and look up the Russian word for 'Reset,'" thought the SecState, but then she figured, N-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h.

3. "Dammit Quaneesha, lay off the damn olestra potato chips!"

4. Like many members of the Bush Administration, Condaleezza Rice found it difficult to find work.

5. "OK, it's tucked in real tight. Let's start the drag show."

Best of Army of Dad
"A black man President? Yeah right, and glitter might blow out my butt!"

Best of curly
"...and sitting in for the ailing President Obama: a big black ass with sparkles on it."

Best of Army of Dad
Her name is Rio and she blows sparkles on an ass...

Best of dub
Where you will be when her laxative kicks in?

Best of dub
Michelle thought to herself, "this will make a great gift for those England dignitary people".

Best of Pendark
Michelle explains how to make yourself fart fresh air like the president.

Best of Kaptain Krude
I've heard of "kissing your ass goodbye", but this is some kind of twist that I'm not sure I like.

(Or maybe I do.)

Best of dub
WOOHOO!! First new job has been created!!

Best of Adjustah
Commander Riker slowly began to suspect that Geordi had drunkenly saved over his favorite holodeck program...

Best of prince of leaves
The cheerleaders of New Orleans Public School #12 prepare for the big halftime extravaganza.

Best of prince of leaves
A lady-in-waiting prepares Empress M'chel for her wifely duties.

Best of mega
"I know, My Queen. It is an outrage that you brought Mr. Obama a 1700 year old solid gold zebra symbolizing our country's beautiful wildlife, and he gave you a $3 thong. That is his way."

Best of GregMan
"Tell me again, Mr. President, how exactly is this going to make the sea levels go down?"

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well if Obama can blow smoke out of his ass so can we.

Army of Dad said...

Back dat @ss up.

Jack Reacher said...

Just another Wednesday on the 7th floor at the State Department.

Army of Dad said...

"A black man President? Yeah right, and glitter might blow out my butt!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Yeah, I see it. Girl, that ain't no mosquito bite."

Jack Reacher said...

"I want the tattoo to say 'Enter here for Old Navy specials.'"
ATDHE
wv: hersha. Close to what I was thinking, actually.

curly said...

"...and sitting in for the ailing President Obama: a big black ass with sparkles on it."

Army of Dad said...

Her name is Rio and she blows sparkles on an ass...

Some songs should be left alone.

Submariner said...

Dammit, Sh'NaNa, it ain't blow, so quit snortin' my butt-glitter!

Submariner said...

Illustrated cliches #31:

All that glitters is NOT gold.

Submariner said...

None of that "blowin' kisses" crap, Shirley. You lost the bet so lips to cheeks!

dub said...

Where you will be when her laxative kicks in?

dub said...

Michelle thought to herself, "this will make a great gift for those England dignitary people".

Pendark said...

Michelle explains how to make yourself fart fresh air like the president.

Kaptain Krude said...

SNORTIN BLOW OFF HOOKER'S AZZ... UR DOIN IT RONG!

Kaptain Krude said...

It's a black full moon! The Endtimes are here! Run for the hills!

Kaptain Krude said...

"Yes'm, Miss Huffington, I's jes' be puttin' de final touches on yo' statue. Is you sure Mr. Obama posed fo' you fo' dis?"*

*ATDHWSN - And Then Dawn's Head Went Super Nova.

Kaptain Krude said...

I've heard of "kissing your ass goodbye", but this is some kind of twist that I'm not sure I like.

(Or maybe I do.)

Kaptain Krude said...

dub was later found explosively, violently throwing up.

dub said...

WOOHOO!! First new job has been created!!

Army of Dad said...

Its no use girlfriend, all the glitter in the world won't be enough to distract dub from saying you are fat.

metalgarth said...

The slave girl scenes from the Blaxploitation version of Return of the Jedi were... SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER than the original

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Unrequited Jungle Love?
Until now, I thought the phrase -"Kiss your ass goodbye" - was only a metaphor.

-OR-


"Honey, I don't care what yo granny did when you skinned your knee... you couldn't pay me enough to axully kiss yo ugly butt to make it feel bettuh."


PS - This is the most revolting series of photos in the time I've been here... VtheK, you are indeed a sick intercourse! I want a refund.

dub said...

Just Say No To Crack

dub said...

Freebasing Crack...UR DOIN IT RONG

dub said...

Shouldnt she be holding a cup?

dub said...

It is sad that in this country, the land of the free, "those" people cant even afford toilet paper.

Adjustah said...

Commander Riker slowly began to suspect that Geordi had drunkenly saved over his favorite holodeck program...

Army of Dad said...

Adjustah, that made me really laugh out loud. Awesome.

prince of leaves said...

The cheerleaders of New Orleans Public School #12 prepare for the big halftime extravaganza.

prince of leaves said...

I thought you topped cottage cheese with nutmeg, not cupcake sparkles...?

prince of leaves said...

A lady-in-waiting prepares Empress M'chel for her wifely duties.

mega said...

"I know, My Queen. It is an outrage that you brought Mr. Obama a 1700 year old solid gold zebra symbolizing our country's beautiful wildlife, and he gave you a $3 thong. That is his way."

GregMan said...

Two former District Attorneys fired by the Bush Administration prepare for a job interview at the State Department.

GregMan said...

Evidently Old Navy had a sale on glitter.

ATDHE

GregMan said...

"Tell me again, Mr. President, how exactly is this going to make the sea levels go down?"

Tim said...

Due to the recession, Tinker bell and the other fairies find new uses for fairy dust.

Matt the K said...

And then Sir Mix-a-Lot's head exploded.

Oiao said...

Channeling Slim Pickins - "A spit in hand, ass slappin good time, yeeee haaaaaa!"

Natasha said...

It took Shaquisha a while to realize why there were no handles on this slot machine.

Natasha said...

Oh...I thought you said a "SLOT" machine...