Monday, March 23, 2009

Duh-h-h-h-h-h-h!

Jack Creature

1. Every morning, Dear Leader wakes up and salutes the Teleprompter.

2. Only Obumblef-ck could be dumb enough to screw up the hand motions of "I'm a Little Teapot."

3. The President was nearly blinded today when the first lady showed up in broad daylight wearing silver lame hip-huggers.

4. The president argues forcefully that his deficits only "come up to about, um, up to here."

5. "... and some of those Special Olympics retards have big old brow ridges... like this..."

Very Brady Best of Silhouette
Continuing his diplomatic genius, Obama performs while reciting The Song of Hiawatha for the delegation from India.

Bam! Pow! Best of dadoctah
The Batdance. Ur doin it rong.

Best of metalgarth
Once again, Homer stuck his head in the Shine-O Ball-O and blinded Carl when he came to work the next day

Best of Army of Dad
BO is still looking for his balls. Michelle is really good at hiding things.

Best of Atomic Lib Smasher
Look over there! A taxpayer! Let's get him!

Best of jj
Is where da white wimmen at?

Best of GregMan
"Where da teleprompter at?"

Best of hntr766
I'm just lookin' for a clue!

Best of mklasing
BO watches sadly as another bowling ball heads for the gutter.

Best of Mr. Right
As a practical joke, members of the President's staff kept slowly dialing down the contrast and brightness controls on his TelePrompTer™ during the State of the Union Address. It was all very funny... until he finally gave up and started ad-libbing, causing a 3000 point drop in the Dow, a war with Canada, and a record number of strokes and heart attacks among members of Congress, all within a matter of minutes.

Best of Seoulman (R)
President Obama took third in the Shirley Temple look-alike contest.

Best of Submariner
What the hell IS that thing?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Franklin Mint's new Obamalama coin carries a colored picture of Da Wiz and is inscribed with the catchy new DNC slogan, "Deficits As Far As the Eye Can See. Order yours today, only $1.95... plus $89 shipping/handling.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Yessir, Mr. Soros. Right away, Mr. Soros. How high, Mr. Soros?"

44 comments:

dub said...

At least he took the lens covers off first.

Jay Guevara said...

Obama encounters a mirror.

Jay Guevara said...

"Nah, we're not in hell, but you can see it from here."

metalgarth said...

Once again, Homer stuck his head in the Shine-O Ball-O and blinded Carl when he came to work the next day

Army of Dad said...

"Now, we um, salute the motherland!"

Army of Dad said...

BO is still looking for his balls. Michelle is really good at hiding things.

Army of Dad said...

Can't read teleprompter, must not speak...

Army of Dad said...

"Oh sh!t, it's my illegal alien auntie...quick you um Secret Service dudes stop her and make her um, go back into hiding."

Army of Dad said...

Well there goes my reelection chances.

Army of Dad said...

"I salute you, Mr. Putin!"

Army of Dad said...

"Wow, you really can see Russia from here!"

Army of Dad said...

BO plays peek-a-boo with the 'tards that he invited to the White House.

sonicfrog said...

Oh, Look! There's the change we've been waiting for...

sonicfrog said...

Oh, Look! There's the economic recovery we've been waiting for...

Atomic Lib Smasher said...

Look over there! A taxpayer! Let's get him!

jj said...

Is where da white wimmen at?

GregMan said...

"Where da teleprompter at?"

GregMan said...

"Yep, here comes the Apocalypse, right on schedule!"

GregMan said...

"OMG, it's Reagan's ghost! Why does he look so upset?"

GregMan said...

President Soetero is startled when Muh-chelle's laxative kicks in and demolishes the entire East Wing.

Army of Dad said...

"How are my NCAA picks doing?"

Army of Dad said...

"Why are those four dudes on horses riding this way?"

hntr766 said...

I'm just lookin' for a clue!

Silhouette said...

Continuing his diplomatic genius, Obama performs while reciting The Song of Hiawatha for the delegation from India.

mklasing said...

"The light from the economy going up in flames is almost blinding."

mklasing said...

BO looks on as freedom and prosperity finally disappear in the horizon.

dadoctah said...

Cognizant of the risk to his retinas, Barry makes a point of not staring directly into Ann Coulter.

Army of Mom said...

Aww, isn't that cute? He's doing the little hand moves to the church song about a lying, cheating tax-collector who found Jesus. I mean, except for the finding Jesus stuff. It fits.

Timothy Geithner was a wee little man,
And a wee little man was he.
He climbed up into a sycamore tree for the Obamamessiah He wanted to see.
As the "Savior" passed by,
Obamamessiah said "Timothy Geithner, you come down from there "
For I'm going to your house today.
For I'm going to your house today.
For I'm going to your house today.

p.s. The song is about Zaccheus in case the non-protestant little children out there didn't sing these songs growing up.

dadoctah said...

The Batdance. Ur doin it rong.

wv: rerripl. When one ripple just isn't enough.

Army of Mom said...

*voice from off-camera* Uh sir, that isn't how we do a salute.

mklasing said...

BO watches sadly as another bowling ball heads for the gutter.

Mr. Right said...

President 0bama searches fruitlessly for signs of intelligent life in his administration.

Submariner said...

"Um, uuuuuhhhhh, er, um, uhhhh."

Next day NYTwit headline: OBMAMA FORCEFUL ON RECOVERY PLAN

Submariner said...

Well, there goes the last successful income earner in Amerikkka; guess my plan worked...

Mr. Right said...

As a practical joke, members of the President's staff kept slowly dialing down the contrast and brightness controls on his TelePrompTer™ during the State of the Union Address. It was all very funny... until he finally gave up and started ad-libbing, causing a 3000 point drop in the Dow, a war with Canada, and a record number of strokes and heart attacks among members of Congress, all within a matter of minutes.


wv: "slimoche" Wasn't that 0bambi's nickname in high school?

Seoulman (R) said...

I have had it up to here with "Hope and Change", let's do some disaster and disgrace

Seoulman (R) said...

Now that all of the factories have stopped I can see for miles.

Seoulman (R) said...

Don't blame me, it's the only way I can look at Hillary Clinton without eye-bleach

Seoulman (R) said...

If you look closely you can see America dying before your very eyes.

Seoulman (R) said...

President Obama took third in the Shirley Temple look-alike contest.

Submariner said...

What the hell IS that?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Franklin Mint's new Obamalama coin carries a colored picture of Da Wiz and is inscribed with the catchy new DNC slogan, "Deficits As Far As the Eye Can See."
Order yours today, only $1.95... plus $89 shipping/handling.

WordVerify: avence - that what makes good neighbors

Jay Guevara said...

"Yes, Mr. Soros. Right away, Mr. Soros. How high, Mr. Soros?"

Jay Guevara said...

Thought bubble: "Damn, how'd they fit a word that big on that little screen?"