1. Serving arugula while the Titanic lists heavily to port, an excellent metaphor for the Obama administration.
2. "Soylent tater tots are made out of capitalist counter-revolutionaries!"
3. "Streetman" Taylor couldn't help thinking of all the Thunderbird he could buy after he sold his picture of Bigfoot to the Enquirer.
4. For the first time in her life, M'chel O'Bama is proud of her tater tots.
5. Mr. Obama would have served lunch, too. But it turns out he just wasn't qualified.
Wicked Best of Adjustah
"This gagh is atrocious," though M'Chel, "but the Rokeg blood pie is palatable if you wash it down with enough raktajino!"
Best of Army of Dad
Michelle was used to wearing gloves what with all the sh!t that comes out of her husband's mouth...
Best of Mr. Hankey
As she prepares to spit her poisonous venom, Agent 009 quickly protects himself with a plasma force field control. SMERSH is defeated again.
Best of the doyle
You don't need those silly vouchers, here have a taco.
Best of metalgarth
I told you that girl who played Tootie on Facts of Life works at Old Country Buffet now. Here's a picture to prove it.
Best of Submariner
Yo, bi-yotch; skip the greens and give me a order of breast with a double side of WHOA!
Skip the thighs...
Best of prince of leaves
"Miriam's Thursday Menu: Doom Risotto, Gory Muffin, Oily Baked Whore, Wheat Rocks, Twit Salad."
Best of Army of Mom
Mrs. Willis knew marrying that white man would eventually be her downfall. Look where it got her now.
Best of Jack Reacher
A New York Times reporter waits to be spoon-fed.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Fascinating, Captain. The tricorder shows no sign of intelligent life."
Best of GregMan
Immediately afterwards, Tyrone's cell phone melted into a sizzling pile of goo.
53 comments:
I can only imagine what kind of hateful thoughts were rattling around that empty skull of hers.
"What do you mean 'Where da white meat at?'"
Well a microgreen salad, risoto with chicken in a ver blanc sauce is soul food.
"Yo ho, show me yo titties!"
The Hippy One steadfastly refused to work the on the fried chicken line.
wv: forest
Stupid is as liberal does
Michelle was used to wearing gloves what with all the sh!t that comes out of her husband's mouth...
Yo moms, I voted for yo boy in da election! I loves me some ACORNS!
Yo, why you make yo man gets back rubs from unicorns? You should bes doing dat fo him beyotch!
Arrest that boy, he called me a kumquat!
As she prepares to spit her poisonous venom, Agent 009 quickly protects himself with a plasma force field control. SMERSH is defeated again.
You don't need those silly vouchers, here have a taco.
The corn will be an additional $45,000,000 and that extra milk will cost you $120,000,000. How else do you expect us to fund the stimulus?
No soup for you!
I told you that girl who played Tootie on Facts of Life works at Old Country Buffet now. Here's a picture to prove it.
Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?
"The Look" preceeds the dislocation of the jaws, but usually only lasts for a couple milliseconds before she swallows her prey whole; hence, this being the only known photo, and the Pulitzer Prize going to the photographer.
Posthumously.
Yo, gurl, di'n't you used ta be a "train-puller" over on South side?
Yo, bi-yotch; skip the greens and give me a order of breast with a double side of WHOA!
Skip the thighs...
Yo lunch-lady...gimme sum fried chickun, some greens, and a side of hope-n-change. Oh yeah, and some crack.
ATDHE
That macaroni salad has a better chance of getting car insurance than anyone in the picture.
ATDHE
If you listen carefully, in the background you can hear people in the other room yelling "Hey, tell Michelle to get her hips outta here!".
Alternate Universe: if McCain had won, this would be a picture of Cindy dishing up her famous human-flesh bourguinon.
"Miriam's Thursday Menu: Doom Risotto, Gory Muffin, Oily Baked Whore, Wheat Rocks, Twit Salad."
"Miriam's Thursday Menu: Doom Risotto, Gory Muffin, Oily Baked Whore, Wheat Rocks, Twit Salad." Guess which of these things M'Chel is serving up?
"Welcome to Your Children's Future! Would you like fries with that?"
Good God, but that smile of hers gives me the creeps.
"Enjoy the nice hot meal. I can help you get a good job too...our Treasury Secretary slot will be opening up any day now."
"...and from the Hollywood Beat, auditions continued today for Ugly Betty..."
Mrs. Willis knew marrying that white man would eventually be her downfall. Look where it got her now.
Look, I ain't gots no job, but I gots me a touchscreen Blackberry. Smile, bitch. Thank your old man for me, too.
Wait till the homies back in the projects see this. I got a picture of the Obamessiah's old lady.
A New York Times reporter waits to be spoon-fed.
I don't care what they say, I looked directly at her and I didn't turn to stone.
She speaks parseltongue. I could only look at her through the lens of the camera. Otherwise, I turn to stone.
Excuse me, are those extensions?
Above the menu sign: We don't serve white meat here.
"Fascinating, Captain. The tricorder shows no sign of intelligent life."
wv: cowbyth--what I'd call her if I had a lisp.
Wanda volunteers at the soup kitchen.
Tyrone felt that MArtha Stewart looked differently that day...but couldn't quite put his finger on it.
Ironically, the cell phone that Antwon was trying to sell was stolen from the car in a motel parking lot where B-man left it when he went for his "staff" meeting
well i agree with natasha, the cell phone that Antwon was trying to sell was stolen from the car in a motel parking lot where B-man left it when he went for his "staff" meeting.
So why are you all making the fuss of this....
ORA:
Edgie and her friend Ruthless ran the Whistle Stop Cafe. Edgie was a character, all right. But how anybody could have thought she murdered that man is beyond me.
Great Cthulhu does his shift at the soup kitchen.
"Why sure, Tyrone, you can have all the taxpayers' money you wants! Plenty more where that come from!"
Immediately afterwards, Tyrone's cell phone melted into a sizzling pile of goo.
Careful, Lamont, that chimp's gonna rip your face off.
ATDHE
"This gagh is atrocious," though M'Chel, "but the Rokeg blood pie is palatable if you wash it down with enough raktajino!"
Michelle: "What you talkin' about? 'Course we gonna put it to these honky mofos! Pink Cadillacs all around! Word!"
Dang, ain't you Rudy from that Cosby Show? Man, you got ugly
After lunch, you want a little stimulus, we'll call it science extra credit.
Due to the economic crisis Michelle had to get a job besides wearing ugly clothes and posing for magazines.
Nothin' says lovin' like the First Lady at the oven.
Who let the dogs out?
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