Saturday, February 21, 2009

Your Saturday Zen

Divine Miss M

1. "I can't believe that retard at the Wendy's Drive Thru asked if we wanted it Supersized."

2. This is just begging for a Road Warrior reference to 'The Humungus.'

3. By 2016, the economy had completely collapsed, no cars were being built or sold, But thanks to bailouts, UAW workers were still making over half-a-million dollars a year.

4. "Let's just go to the Dollar Store. I don't feel like getting dressed up for the Wal-Mart's."

5. "Thank Marx Obama is bailing out our mortgage. I don't know how we'd pay for groceries otherwise."

Best of Army of Dad
ORA: Pow pow power wheels, power wheels make you go!

Best of Atomic Lib Smasher
Big Momma in the back - "Just keep off the roads with a 10 Ton weight limit, Cleatus"

Best of mega
GM's new eco-friendly lineup met with Congressional Democrats' approval, and was predicted by the media to be the thing that would save Detroit and get this economy moving again.

Best of Double the U
Don't believe that crap when they tell you medicare will pay for one scooter a piece.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
The rollover risk assessment staff at Consumer Reports saw this photo and gleefully shared a common thought... NEW ARTICLE!!!!!

Best of jj
Man's t-shirt: "If you can read this, the bitch done fell off".

Best of Matt the K
"If you can read this, my bitch fell off, and she has the food stamps."

Best of Matt the K
Why the Rest of the World Hates Us, Part 17.

Best of Matt the K
"If you can read this, my Aunt Sistermom fell off"


Best of Rodney Dill
"Scootch over a bit hon... Grandma needs to breathe."

Best of GregMan
Proof positive that it is possible to haz too many cheeseburgerz.

Best of Julie the Jarhead
"Imposters!" sniffed the famous Hilltop Steakhouse (Saugus, MA) steer from his rooftop perch.

43 comments:

Army of Dad said...

Oh, if only that were a moped...

Army of Dad said...

ORA: Pow pow power wheels, power wheels make you go!

Army of Dad said...

Is it any wonder that they appear to be going to a cheap steakhouse, coffee shop and liqour store?

Army of Dad said...

Bubba, don't forget get to stop at the Dollar General and gets me some Diet Coke.

Army of Dad said...

Why yes officer we are headed to that thar trailer park...

metalgarth said...

10 miles per gallon (of ice cream that is)

Atomic Lib Smasher said...

Big Momma in the back - "Just keep off the roads with a 10 Ton weight limit, Cleatus"

mega said...

GM's new eco-friendly lineup met with Congressional Democrats' approval, and was predicted by the media to be the thing that would save Detroit and get this economy moving again.

dub said...

I am glad to see that in time of economic hardships that AOM and AOD have decided to carpool.

Double the U said...

Don't believe that crap when they tell you medicare will pay for one scooter a piece.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Two fatsos drive into a bar. Bartender asks what they'll have. "Gimme a whiskey sour," says the fat broad, "but give him a Dr. Pepper... he's the designated driver."

-OR-

Truth in Advertising
"At WeRipoffMedicare, you could waddle in and roll out on a brand new scooter paid for by your insurance and the taxpayers! Thanks to Pelosi's Stimulus, even UNINSURED piggies won't have to ride piggyback!"

-OR-

After the NHTSA Impact Analyst saw this photo, he couldn't stop dreaming about using them as test dummies.

-OR-

The rollover risk assessment staff at Consumer Reports saw this photo and gleefully shared a common thought... NEW ARTICLE!!!!!

jj said...

Man's t-shirt: "If you can read this, the bitch done fell off".

Matt the K said...

Aw crud, jj beat me to it.... but here goes anyway.

"If you can read this, my mom fell off"

Matt the K said...

"If you can read this, my bitch fell off, and she has the food stamps."

Matt the K said...

"Dammit, Delbert, right!! I said RIGHT!!! Now you done made me drop my smokes!"

...Little did Trina know that backseat wheelchair driving is grounds for justifiable homicide in Arkansas.

Matt the K said...

Why the Rest of the World Hates Us, Part 17.

Matt the K said...

McDonnel-Douglas landing gear testers.

Matt the K said...

Man's T-shirt: "If you can read this, my Aunt Sistermom fell off"

Matt the K said...

Introducing the new Hoveround™ Diesel.

Matt the K said...

Shortly after, Bubba was pulled over. For driving a wheelchair on a public street??? No...for failing to affix a WIDE LOAD sign to his sister.

Matt the K said...

Dammit, Delbert, step on it or we'll be late to our Weight Watchers class!!!

Passionate Conservative said...

Street racing, post-Al Gore.

Passionate Conservative said...

Nancy:"Turn in to the 7-11, hon, I have to get more Red-Man"

Chuck: "I thought you switched to Cope!"

Army of Mom said...

That thing got a hemi?

Jack Reacher said...

"That cow on the roof remind you of anything, Mildred?"
"Huh?"
"Never mind."

Jack Reacher said...

In a Washington metaphor, the fat-asses are people who bought overpriced houses with 2% down, the scooter is the "stimulus" package, and the wheels? The rest of us are the wheels.

dadoctah said...

Segway: first prototype.

Chrees said...

95% of Americans getting tax breaks--the One was obviously calculating that based on weight.

kg said...

When their scooter died, Earl & Connie could only hope that someone would come along and call a tow.

dub said...

Coffee in the rear, liquor in the front....if you dare.

Rodney Dill said...

"Scootch over a bit hon... Grandma needs to breathe."

Seoulman (R) said...

London environmentalits applauded the new double-decker wheelchair but condemned the usage of uage who use wheelchairs only because they are too lazy to walk.

Seoulman (R) said...

The video "When a Man Transports a Woman" swept the Country Music Video Awards

Seoulman (R) said...

She ain't heavy, she's my lover

Seoulman (R) said...

Here they come
Riding down the street
Getting the funniest looks
Whenever they eat
Hey hey they're the Fatties

Seoulman (R) said...

folks, they can go 0-60 in under two minutes that's miles per hour and pounds, see it next on Ripley's Believe It or Not

GregMan said...

Proof positive that it is possible to haz too many cheeseburgerz.

GregMan said...

NASCAR just ain't what it used to be now that the Obamessiah's environmental regulations have kicked in.

Julie the Jarhead said...

"Imposters!" sniffed the famous Hilltop Steakhouse (Saugus, MA) steer from his rooftop perch.

Mr. Hankey said...

The Cow-Mart has it's own delivery service.

Mr. Hankey said...

One of the many derivatives of NASCAR - NAStyChAiR

Mr. Hankey said...

Bubba and Bubbette never lose at chicken.

Mr. Hankey said...

Now we know what Alice meant by the bumper sticker on her minivan - "I'd Rather Be Riding My Hog"