Monday, February 09, 2009

Two Goofuses in Search of a Gallant

SondraK <--- Had dinner with her. It was teh cool.
1. "Dammit, um... Igor... that, um... brain is, um... abnormal."

2. After seeing Joe Biden do the 'Monkey Dance' for 20 minutes, Susan Collins agreed to vote for the trillion dollar pork bill.

3. "Now, when I, um, snap my, um fingers, um, you will awake totally, um, refreshed... with no, um, knowledge of being my, um, vice president."

4. Biden wishes that Chairman 0 would wrap it up quick so he could release the damn pigeons from his pants.

5. Obama reassured the White House press corps that his security team would not rest until the missing gerbil had been located.

Best of GregMan
Screams of horror came from the White House briefing room when Zombie Joe Biden entered the room.

Best of Jack Reacher
"So, Joe, how did your weekend at the Kennedy estate go?"

Best of Submariner
Biden thought bubble; "You haven't LIVED until you've gambled on a fart only to discover EXACTLY where you'll be when your laxative kicks in..."

Best of molson
His diaper now full, Joe tries to make a gracious exit while the Messiah explains the need for a big bailout. If he only knew Joe thought to himself.

Best of The Man
The press corps was quite amused with Biden's imitation of Obama trying to use a White House window as a door.

Best of Mr Hankey
"...is a bi-partisan office - in no way do we lean to the....'DAMN IT JOE!!!

Best of Army of Dad
No he is harmless. Dr. Sung showed me where his off switch is, but you can only use one finger to reach this one.

Best of Atomic Lib Smasher
Joe Biden soon learned a weekend at Barney Frank's house made it very uncomfortable to sit down while Obama mused "That's exactly what my stimulus will do when I put it into the economy".

Best of Mr. Right
"If you enjoyed the Vice President's dance stylings, please toss some coins in the hat on the floor over there. Don't be stingy now, we have an economy to 'stimulate'!"

Best of Tim
Few things haunt a man longer than undead zombies from Scranton, PA

Best of Army of Mom
The first Road to Recession movie from Hope and Change Pictures finds barnstorming con artists Chuck Reardon (Barry Obama) and Hubert "Fearless" Frazier (Joe Biden) killing liberty after their act goes haywire.

64 comments:

GregMan said...

Screams of horror came from the White House briefing room when Zombie Joe Biden entered the room.

GregMan said...

President Hopeychangey announces the new Secretary Of Silly Walks.

GregMan said...

"Um, I won, and, um, you will, uh, do as I, um, say, or, uhhh, my monkey here, um, will attack you."

GregMan said...

Biden shows off his tap-dancing skills as the Obamessiah does his John Wayne impersonation. The press goes wild.

Chrees said...

When shock & awe gets downgraded to shuck & jive

Jack Reacher said...

"The, um, Vice President will serve as the, um, teapot, and I, of course, will, um, be the, ah, spout."

Jack Reacher said...

"So, Joe, how did your weekend at the Kennedy estate go?"

Jack Reacher said...

"We've been heavily engaged internationally, and just this weekend my vice president received input from the Russians and Iranians. Joe, how did the input go?"

Jack Reacher said...

Biden: "Avenge me!"
Obama: "The reporter from MSNBC may now pull my finger."

Jack Reacher said...

While Obama calls on a member of the press by pointing, Biden imitates the reporter he wishes to speak with. Here, Biden indicates he will take a question from Maureen Dowd.

Crit_Zero said...

It's ummm, kind of odd, really.
If you... uh...pull my finger...
Joe, umm... well, he...uh, Joe farts.

Submariner said...

Biden thought bubble; "You haven't LIVED until you've gambled on a fart only to discover EXACTLY where you'll be when your laxative kicks in..."

Submariner said...

Joe; I did NOT get a "harumph" from that reporter...

Submariner said...

On the command to "Draw!" the one showed why he was now the President and Joe was just an "also ran" flunky.

dub said...

Can anyone other than Joe guess where my finger has been?

dub said...

Hey, where da white VP's at?

Oh, there he is.

molson said...

His diaper now full, Joe tries to make a gracious exit while the Messiah explains the need for a big bailout. If he only knew Joe thought to himself.

The Man said...

The press corps was quite amused with Biden's imitation of Obama trying to use a White House window as a door.

The Man said...

The press corps was quite amused with Biden's imitation of Obama banging his head on Marine One.

The Man said...

The visiting Japanese Prime Minister was not amused by Biden's imitation of Godzilla sacking Tokyo.

The Man said...

The Notre Dame football team was not amused by Biden's imitation of their beloved hunchback.

The Man said...

Zombie Biden required frequent trips outside of Obama's administration for his daily dose of brainssss.

Jay Guevara said...

"Let's see you do a little time step, boy."

"Yes, Mr. President."

vw: cessuban (close!)

Jay Guevara said...

"Uh, uh, check with the Secret Service guy, Biden, but I think it's right down that hall on the left."

vw: twaddis (close again!)

Submariner said...

In BET's remake of "The Little Colonel," the part of Col. Lloyd is played by a brother and Walker is a honky dufus who taps and says "Yassuh" a lot.


ATDHE-A

Submariner said...

Biden thought bubble; "I wonder if Barry'll notice what I stepped in?"

Submariner said...

In spite of 4 weeks personal instruction at the "Tim Robbins' Acting School," Joe's impersonation of the former resident of the White House still stumps even the White House Press Corps...


vw - fibled - cross between "fib" and "libeled" and therefore standard from most leftards...

Mr Hankey said...

"...is a bi-partisan office - in no way do we lean to the....'DAMN IT JOE!!!

Mr Hankey said...

"I said...'The new sheriff is a ...."

Army of Dad said...

Uh, excuse me, um I think that, uh, someone didn't, I mean forgot to uh, wind up Joe.

Army of Dad said...

No he is harmless. Dr. Sung showed me where his off switch is, but you can only use one finger to reach this one.

Army of Dad said...

Igor, attack that a-hole from Fox News!

Whacko said...

Barry and Doofus do their best imitation of the Blues Brothers

StLCard said...

I'se comin' Marse Barry! I'se comin'!

Barco Sin Vela II said...

If Mel Brooks directed this scene:

Prez Obama singing; "Dressed up like a million dollar trooper
Trying hard to look like gary cooper, Super Duper"

Biden: ..."Puttin on the Ritz!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The vetting process obviously didn't include a check for tax problems OR dementia.

-OR-

Whispered into the Secret Service agents' earpieces: Whoever has the skate key, quick, go wind up Grandpa before anyone notices he's not just passing gas.

-OR-

Whispered into the Secret Service agents' earpieces: Quick, go prop up Biden. That's about the only thing NOT in the stimulus package!

Anonymous said...

Damn, those wet farts are killers.

Atomic Lib Smasher said...

Joe Biden soon learned a weekend at Barney Frank's house made it very uncomfortable to sit down while Obama mused "That's exactly what my stimulus will do to economy".

prince of leaves said...

"Hey, Barry, help me out here...Helen Thomas is sucking on my damned toes again and won't let up!"

prince of leaves said...

After the persistent flicker in his teleprompter caused the Messiah to seize up and tip over backwards, the AP covers for him by cropping and clone-tooling the background in its photo to make it look like Joe Biden is falling over on his face.

Mr. Right said...

The day we knew the end of America had finally come: "If you enjoyed the Vice President's dance stylings, please toss some coins in the hat on the floor over there. Don't be stingy now, we have an economy to 'stimulate'!"

Atomic Lib Smasher said...

The day we knew the end of America had finally come: "If you enjoyed the Vice President's dance stylings, please toss some coins in the hat on the floor over there. Don't be stingy now, we have an economy to 'stimulate'!"

Not a caption, but I just had to say... this one really made me laugh my ass off... as sadly true as it may come to after the Rape The Economy Act of 2009 passes.

Thanks Mr. Right.

dadoctah said...

Tuvok and Neelix: still not making eye contact.

Tim said...

Chaining Biden to the wall reduced Obama's Administrations gaffes by over 28%

Tim said...

few things haunt a man longer than undead zombies from Scranton, PA

Army of Mom said...

BRAINZ: WE'Z GOT NUN

Army of Mom said...

Next on Love Boat: Isaac and Gopher see the White House.

Army of Mom said...

Pssst, Joe. Are those pigeons in your pants legs or are you doing Mr. Bojangles again?

Army of Mom said...

The first Road to Recession movie from Hope and Change Pictures finds barnstorming con artists Chuck Reardon (Barry Obama) and Hubert "Fearless" Frazier (Joe Biden) killing liberty after their act goes haywire.

Army of Mom said...

CEILING CAT FEELZ SIK

Army of Mom said...

Joe Biden feels the Obama tingle in his leg.

Or is that the beginnings of a blood clot.

flyovercountry said...

Now I ah, have told you people, ah, that I have rhythm, ah, and white people don't. Now, ah to prove that, here is, ah the vice president dancing.

Submariner said...

Shakin' a branch over here, boss;
shakin' a leg over here...

Matt the Kostume said...

&#9834 I knew a man Joebiden and he'd dance for you, in worn out shoes... &#9834

Matt the Kostume said...

Okay, metalgarth, apparently that code was NOT the code for musical notes....

For those of you playing at home, think Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.... Oy

Army of Mom said...

Aww, Matt riffing on the AoM Mr. Bojangles reference. Good one ...

Army of Mom said...

No no no! Joe yelled at BO.

You do jazz hands when I do the soft shoe.

Army of Mom said...

Poor Joe. He thought Gregory Hines was president and wanted to impress him.

Army of Mom said...

Ignore the Scarecrow back there and pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

Submariner said...

While Joe acted the fool, The One pointed out that the room's carpet matched the drapes, though he secretly wondered why anyone cared...

Submariner said...

The One points to the window that he wants Michelle's inauguration dress hung back up in.

steve o said...

Joe Biden gets ready to do some popping, and maybe a little down-rock to help sell the Stimulus plan.

steve o said...

Joe Biden does his "Hey, I'm Barak Obama getting on Air Force One!" impression.

Not surprisingly...

dub said...

(insert musical note here)
Ebony...and Ivory...

Farking the Country up in...harmony...

Side by side you're my hero.... negro... why can't we??

(insert musical note here)


ATDHE