Wednesday, February 04, 2009

So, a Golden Eagle and a Mongol Walk onto a Train

Brender
1. Bird: "Check it out. An Edward Gorey figure just walked past the window."

2. Bird: "Is it true these curtains were made out of Marge Simpson's inaugural gown?"

3. ORA: Wall Street Layoffs hit both the Capitol One Mongols and the Osbick Bird.

4. Bird: "Don't try anything you yellow heathen. I'm watching you like a you-know-what."

5. Bird: "So, when do we get to the Tibetan funeral. I'm starving."

LMAO Best of Jack Reacher
Man's thought bubble: Why is it staring at me? Do I have something on my face? Do I know this bird? Think, dammit, think!

Wicked Best of dadoctah
Worst. Buddy-cop film. Ever.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Hey, you're on my half of the armrest."

Best of divine miss m
He and his eagle have the kind of magnetism that wordlessly beckons the guy wearing half a cantaloupe on his head to come sit next to them during long subway rides.

Best of Matt the K
"Oh, now that's just freakin' great. Now the Beastmaster knows I'm going to see his old lady."

Best of dub
eHarmony... UR DATABASES IS BUSTED

Best of Army of Dad
KAHN!

Best of Tim
'Ow to speak Mongolian: "HOV lane."

Only because I flew Northworst yesterday Best of Submariner
Northwest cuts back on meal serive to the Orient - everyone is encouraged to bring their own snacks...

41 comments:

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hey, you're on my half of the armrest."

racerboy said...

"Albatross!!!"

divine miss m said...

He and his eagle have the kind of magnetism that wordlessly beckons the guy wearing half a cantaloupe on his head to come sit next to them during long subway rides.

verif. word: dization

Matt the K said...

Chuluun was just thankful he didn't have to transport the hawk in his pants.

Matt the K said...

"Oh, now that's just freakin' great. Now the Beastmaster knows I'm going to see his old lady."

dub said...

Bird: Pluck me? Well PLUCK YOU TOO!



sv: brerapp....the sound the chinaman will make shortly after eating the bird.

dub said...

"Why yes, I have tasted myself...and yes, I do taste like chicken." *wink wink*

The hawk just sat in silent horror.

Jack Reacher said...

"What a coincidence! I'm also on my way to Washington to accept a cabinet-level position!"

Jack Reacher said...

"You know that little GEICO lizard? Let's just say there won't be any auto insurance discounts on this train."

jj said...

Bird to man: "Do you know Kasper Gutman?"

Jack Reacher said...

Man's thought bubble: Why is it staring at me? Do I have something on my face? Do I know this bird? Think, dammit, think!

Jack Reacher said...

Thought bubble for both bird and man: Is it Thursday already?

Rodney Dill said...

Give me the Falcon or I will keel you...

Rodney Dill said...

Have a pheasant plucking day!

dadoctah said...

Worst. Buddy-cop film. Ever.

dub said...

Something tells me the guy in the hat is going to be better looking, and thinner, than at least one of tomorrows "ladies".

dub said...

AOM...Nice hat!

dub said...

eHarmony... UR DATABASES IS BUSTED

ochagirl said...

"For the last time! I haven't been taking food from the government in exchange for back-stabbing you guys. It's a metabolic disorder! (Um, driver, you can just drop me off here.)"

f said...

Hawk to man,
You get the aisle seat again, I hope you're reincarnated as a mouse.

flyovercountry said...

Kamala loved to deposit rabbit scent on unsuspecting passengers and then turn his bird loose on his daily commute.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I didn't enjoy the Chinese remake of The Martease Fawcon at all.

Rodney Dill said...

I want the window seat... I'll flip you for it.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

After 20 years of costly speech therapy, Ylang Ylu was beginning to think the pet shop owner didn't really know how to teach his parrot how to talk.

-or-

When dog is a menu item and most other animals are butchered by quack herbalists... blind Lee Zang felt pretty darned lucky to get a Seeing Eye Eagle. He was! The next patient got an "imported" Seeing Eye Pigeon that smelled like musky crotch rot.

Uchuck the Tuchuck said...

Mongol (muttering): Genghis...Subetai...Ogedai...THEY never had to ride coach-class....

vw: mantings. What that eagle looks like he's about to rip off of Batu Khan there.

Army of Dad said...

Is that a mouse in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Army of Dad said...

I CAN HAZ MEAT?!

Army of Dad said...

I had to check my one inch Swiss Army knife and he gets to bring on the freaking eagle. What BS!

Army of Dad said...

KAHN!

Army of Dad said...

I see you bird, can you see me?

Army of Dad said...

Another Whopper virgin. Or maybe just a virgin.

metalgarth said...

They had to get out of toon town because neither Foghorn Leghorn or the loud mouthed dog were ever seen again after opening of the new 'Mongolian Grill'

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Only after enlarging and sharpening the photo did the Chinese secret police realize they'd stumbled upon a whole eagle smuggling ring.
(I count at least 3, possibly 5 of the birds. Definitely not the tram to ride if you're taking your pet hamster to the vet.)

WordVerify: methyth - what else would a gay crank dealer who's married to his work call his lab?

Tim said...

The Mongolian equivalent of a HOV lane.

Tim said...

After 10 years of marriage Hoong and his bird wife finally took a REAL honeymoon.

Tim said...

In this version of "Lady Hawke" she was never freed from her curse

Double the U said...

"'Don't make fun of the magician', I told you... but no, you had to mock him. 'I will turn your wife into an animal', he said. 'Go ahead' you had to tell him, 'she is already a bird brain', you laughed... well are you happy? are you happy Mr. mock the magician man?
It was the longest two weeks of their marriage.

Matt the Kostume said...

Terror at 4 and-a-Half Feet:

"Oh great, first there was a gremlin on the plane's wing, now there's a hawk right next to me!!!"

Submariner said...

Northwest cuts back on meal serive to the Orient - everyone is encouraged to bring their own snacks...

Adjustah said...

With pigeons under his hat, in his robe and mantyhosed to his legs, Hiro couldn't believe who they had sat him next too...

molson said...

The bird's thinking... "Do you get a free bowl of soup with that hat?"