Friday, February 20, 2009

Sir, I Believe You've Had Enough For One Evening

Brenda Walker
1. "Stepping up the dog toss circle is the Russian favorite, Boris Yakov. He'll need to throw at least 97 meters to stay in medal contention."

2. Andrew Sullivan "outgrew" gerbils sometime in 1994.

3. "No, they didn't like this one either. Skin it and and make something warriorific for Michelle to wear."

4. "How many of these do you think we can stuff into a Volkswagen? Let's find out!"

5. The Adventures of Ed Nisenberg, Dog Chiropractor! Coming this Fall on Fox.


Super Best of Matt the K
The detail level of Harvey's balloon animals was simply astonishing.

Wicked Best of dub
Hey, sometimes you just gotta choke a bitch.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Ernie Kruptnik, patent holder for Swiffer Dusters, barely hides his disdain after a US Customs official hands him the Chinese knock-off.

Best of Seoulman (R)
The Russian Mafia and Fluffy came to an understanding about smelling cocaine at the Dog Show

Best of satted
And it so simple, apply pressure on the tax-payers neck right here and the complaints stop. Works best on Democrats, but recently has been very effective on Republicans.

Best of Jack Reacher
"I caught him snooping around. You want he should have an accident, Boss?"

Best of sixdegreesofblondness
"If this is a consular ship, WHERE is the ambassador?"

Best of Mr. Hankey
Walt Disney Presents: "The Shaggy Leader of the House" - It's the lovable story of a congresswoman from San Francisco put under a magical spell that transforms her into a shaggy dog - but after many adventures everyone quickly realizes that she had been a major bitch from the very beginning. You'll laugh and cry.

Best of dadoctah
I found the problem. This was in your swimming pool filter.


Best of Army of Mom
Yeah, you like that you little bitch?

50 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ernie Kruptnik, patent holder for Swiffer Dusters, barely hides his disdain after a US Customs official hands him the Chinese knock-off.

sonicfrog said...

Does Enumclaw's "Hot Babe Thursday" fall on Friday????

Carpe Phlogiston said...

When Social Services saw this picture, Feldman's excuse for the curious bruises on his kids' throats completely fell apart.

-or-

Famed dog trainer Cletus Noupheffer demonstrates the wrong way to defend against pit bull attacks while dogwalking... it exposes your groin. Always dangle your pet from it's tail at a 90-degree angle.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

The entire dog world was stunned when Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show judge Zwink Smythe gave the championship blue ribbon to a GUND plush toy.
Damned activist judges, always pushing the envelope!

Seoulman (R) said...

We will continue as soon as the Korean judge puts down the napkin and fork

Seoulman (R) said...

Without a choke collar, Ivan had to improvise

Seoulman (R) said...

The Russian Mafia and Fluffy came to an understanding about smelling cocaine at the Dog Show

Seoulman (R) said...

Dear Doghouse,

I always thought the letters I read were all made up until one day I went to the Dog Show and met this incredible bitch....

Seoulman (R) said...

You know they are much easier to groom if you find them dead already.

Rodney Dill said...

For years Poland has celebrated February 3rd as Grounddog day. If you throw the dog and he comes back its six more weeks of winter, but you get to make Kielbasa.

satted said...

Photo taken from the new IRS "How to collect taxes under the One's administration” manual.

satted said...

Don't worry sweetie, the boys will be here in a minute with your play mate.....

satted said...

And it so simple, apply pressure on the tax-payers neck right here and the complaints stop. Works best on Democrats, but recently has been very effective on Republicans.

Mr. Hankey said...

Exhibit "A" in Hillary Clinton's expose "The Real White Bitch"

dub said...

Hey, sometimes you just gotta choke a bitch.

dub said...

Finally we know where da white bitches are at.

kg said...

Here's a white housedog for the First Family. Oh - you meant a dog for the White House.

Jack Reacher said...

"I caught him snooping around. You want he should have an accident, Boss?"

Jack Reacher said...

"Look at that jerk over there, so smug with his dachsund. Size isn't everything, you know."

Jack Reacher said...

"The name of this bitch is Rhianna, and she falls down a lot."

Too soon?

Army of Dad said...

Where is Al Shaprton to howl is outrage over this obvious racist photo!

Army of Dad said...

So in dog show circles is it called choking your corgi?

Army of Dad said...

Any handler would do that if his dog just ate the diamond earring that fell off the judge...well maybe not the Rottwieller handler.

Army of Dad said...

If this is the new Obama family pet, then it is sure to cause the same ruckus as LBJ and beagles.

Army of Dad said...

Who does number two work for!? Speak!

Army of Dad said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Army of Dad said...

Announcer: This fluffy breed has been recognized for 60 years. Two major required traits are a strong tail and a large windpipe.

sixdegreesofblondness said...

"If this is a consular ship, WHERE is the ambassador?"

Mr. Hankey said...

When worms are found, the dog is quickly tossed.

Chrees said...

A common reaction after the Dog Whisperer tells you what your dog really thinks about you...

Mr. Hankey said...

Walt Disney Presents: "The Shaggy Leader of the House" - It's the lovable story of a congresswoman from San Francisco put under a magical spell that transforms her into a shaggy dog - but after many adventures everyone quickly realizes that she had been a major bitch from the very beginning. You'll laugh and cry.

Chrees said...

ORA: I went to one of those obedience places once... it was all going well until they spilled hot candle wax on my private parts.

Silhouette said...

Fetch, ur doin it wrong.

Nose said...

Senator Schumer presents another candidate for Hillary's seat.

dadoctah said...

"And tonight's 'Iron Chef' secret ingredient is....!"

wv: tompler. That must be the breed.

prince of leaves said...

"Dammit, Oprah! I've told you time and time again to look before you sit down!"

prince of leaves said...

Autopsies later revealed that the dogs were not killed by a canine form of Legionnaires', but died from terror after seeing the Bulgarian judge's hideous orange tie.

prince of leaves said...

Judge's thought bubble: "Typical blonde - scratch her belly and she pees all over the place."

prince of leaves said...

Hit hard by the recession, "The Dog Whisperer" and "The Ghost Whisperer" cut back on service and merge to form "The Dead Dog Mumbler".

dadoctah said...

I found the problem. This was in your swimming pool filter.

Matt the K said...

The detail level of Harvey's balloon animals was simply astonishing.

mega said...

"Dinner is ready." Tom hated serving the beloved family pet, but as a white, Christian, heterosexual male, he was one of the 10 people in America who didn't qualify for a stimulus handout, and times were tough.

Atomic Lib Smasher said...

A-Rod's dog was banned from the Westminster dog show after it tested positive for performance enhancing substances.

dadoctah said...

By any chance did two guys carrying a python come through here recently?

Army of Mom said...

Yeah, you like that you little bitch?

WV: mensa - I'm not thinking she's a member.

Army of Mom said...

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Army of Mom said...

NO, this ain't no hotel for dogs!

Army of Mom said...

I'll get you my pretty... and your little dog too!

Submariner said...

GRABBIN A PIECE OF TAIL; UR DUIN IT RONG.

Jay Guevara said...

Dog: "Hey, HEY, do you mind?"

wv: Let "goleg"