1. "How can this possibly be a portrait of Michelle. It looks like a screaming vagina."
2. "Barry, it's just a bad painting, you don't have to proclaim it 'the worst art since the Great Depression.'"
3. "Lenny painted it for me. Do you think he made my winkie a little overlarge?"
4. "Wow, a framed print of the original poster for Predator." "No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."
5. "That's weird. Has blood always been shooting from Lincoln's eyeballs in this portrait?"
Wicked Best of Silhouette
Obama's tour of the White House continues: "Fireplace - not a door. Door. Door. Thermostat - Not a door. Two paintings - Not doors."
Best of dadoctah
I may not know much about art, but I know what they tell me I'm supposed to like.
Best of Army of Dad
BO's tour of MIB goes well until he see the Most Wanted posters and see Michelle's va-jay-jay.
Best of dub
"Nice...a framed lithigraph from Gorillas In The Mist".
"No Mr President, that is your family picture".
ATDHE
Best of Mr Hankey
You kind of have to cross your eyes to see it pop out at you....
Best of molson
Yeah. That one's got to be worth at least $15 billion. Have Geithner cut another check.
Best of prince of leaves
Bringing change to the White House decor, Obama throws out the entire presidential portraiture collection and replaces it with cheesy "tribal" art that better matches his "Egg of Power".
Best of Matt The K
"You were Lucky, Abe, they SHOT you...now pray with me, Jew-boy..."
Barry inexplicably channels the ghost of funny Akroyd.
Best of Jay Guevara
"To hell with this sh!t. Where's the good art, the ones showing sturdy peasant youths on tractors?"
Best of Jack Reacher
"And so the Old Navy store devouring that woman is a symbol of...what? Help me out here, man."
Best of Seoulman (R)
This is nice, but after signing that bail out package bill, I am more in the mood to see some Maplethorpe
Best of divine miss m
"Everythin' in dis museum be tryin' to make us feel better about our corrupt, imperialistic, phallocratic heritage."
Best of Double the U
... and this is a picture of the Germans landing on Pearl Harbor.
45 comments:
I may not know much about art, but I know what they tell me I'm supposed to like.
Goofus folds his arms and tries to supress a giggle, Gallant tries to figure out why the Japs like Hentai in the first place.
Mouth breather and a painting of a meat eater...
BO's tour of MIB goes well until he see the Most Wanted posters and see Michelle's va-jay-jay.
"Nice...a framed lithigraph from Gorillas In The Mist".
"No Mr President, that is your family picture".
ATDHE
Hmmm....could use more Cowbell.
So.....THAT'S where da white women at.
You kind of have to cross your eyes to see it pop out at you....
Replace this with, uh, one of those, uh, velvet paintings of uh, dogs playing, uh, poker...
Barack:"...no, no, no. I disagree. It's the story of man's inhumanity to man. It has to be a commentary on the last eight years of Bush."
Nameless honky: "If so, why is it called Barack's America?"
Barack:"Obviously, it's a nazi concentration camp..."
Nameless honky: "No sir, it's a painting of your in-law's home..."
..."Don't tell me I can't buy this painting! Remember, I won!"
Obama, "I see the artist in this painting was trying to portray the heartbreak and struggle that women face as they try to succeed in a man's world."
White guy, "Actually Mr. President, they are paintings some kids did of your wife."
White guy thought bubble:
I'm not going to tell dufus that these are actually not famous paintings, but artwork from my wife's kindergarten class.
Obama's tour of the White House continues.
"Fireplace - not a door. Door. Door. Thermostat - Not a door. Two paintings - Not doors."
Yeah. That one's got to be worth at least $15 billion. Have Geithner cut another check.
"Mama used ta parboil them suckas."
Bringing change to the White House decor, Obama throws out the entire presidential portraiture collection and replaces it with cheesy "tribal" art that better matches his "Egg of Power".
"Impressive technique - you can't even see the velvet until you're right up close!"
"You have chosen well, Bob. These will make fine additions to our upcoming Degenerate Art exhibition."
Notice how the tits seem to follow you around the room...?
"Damn, them NEA artists be fly!"
"You were Lucky, Abe, they SHOT you...now pray with me, Jew-boy..."
Barry inexplicably channels the ghost of funny Akroyd.
"To hell with this sh!t. Where's the good art, the ones showing sturdy peasant youths on tractors?"
ORA: "So if we get them some food stamps, these artists will no longer be starving. Will they still paint?"
"And so the Old Navy store devouring that woman is a symbol of...what? Help me out here, man."
you know what would make this painting even better, dogs playing poker I love that one.
The title of this is "Hope and Change"? Have the painter's head delivered to me on a silver platter by noon.
I took art appreciation in college and let me tell you - this ain't art and I don't appreciate it.
this is nice, but after signing that bail out package bill, I am more in the mood to see some Maplethorpe
In the spirit of supporting the Fairness Doctrine, the museum decided to bring in some crap to display and some paintings too
“…So in the interest of the Fairness Doctrine, Fox News will be required to broadcast stills of this faggy painting in equal amounts of time that Shawn Hannity is on the air?”
“Nothing quite says ‘The Picture of Dorian Gay’ like this painting. I'll take it.”
“Under my health care plan, I would have attached Van Gogh’s ear to Sarah Palin’s ass.”
Silhouette said...
Obama's tour of the White House continues.
"Fireplace - not a door. Door. Door. Thermostat - Not a door. Two paintings - Not doors."
*clap clap clap* VERY good!
Obama thought bubble: "I'm gonna fire somebody if I have to tour one more gynecology clinic."
"So this was the view Jimmy Carter had?"
ORA
"Yes, Sweetie, but is it art?"
"Everythin' in dis museum be tryin' to make us feel better about our corrupt, imperialistic, phallocratic heritage."
... and this is a picture of the Germans landing on Perl Harbor.
"I love dinosaur paintings. Is this a T-rex?"
"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."
"This painting of a wild boar is so likelike you can almost smell it."
"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."
"I don't care if the NEA funded Piss Christ and Madonna in Dung. This is too revolting even for them!"
"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."
Beginning to see a pattern here?
ORA: "By God, Elliott, it was a photograph from life!"
"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."
...but could it run on page 6 of the Post, Elliot?
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