Monday, February 16, 2009

One Art, Please

Brender

1. "How can this possibly be a portrait of Michelle. It looks like a screaming vagina."

2. "Barry, it's just a bad painting, you don't have to proclaim it 'the worst art since the Great Depression.'"

3. "Lenny painted it for me. Do you think he made my winkie a little overlarge?"

4. "Wow, a framed print of the original poster for Predator." "No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."

5. "That's weird. Has blood always been shooting from Lincoln's eyeballs in this portrait?"

Wicked Best of Silhouette
Obama's tour of the White House continues: "Fireplace - not a door. Door. Door. Thermostat - Not a door. Two paintings - Not doors."

Best of dadoctah
I may not know much about art, but I know what they tell me I'm supposed to like.

Best of Army of Dad
BO's tour of MIB goes well until he see the Most Wanted posters and see Michelle's va-jay-jay.

Best of dub
"Nice...a framed lithigraph from Gorillas In The Mist".

"No Mr President, that is your family picture".

ATDHE

Best of Mr Hankey
You kind of have to cross your eyes to see it pop out at you....

Best of molson
Yeah. That one's got to be worth at least $15 billion. Have Geithner cut another check.

Best of prince of leaves
Bringing change to the White House decor, Obama throws out the entire presidential portraiture collection and replaces it with cheesy "tribal" art that better matches his "Egg of Power".

Best of Matt The K
"You were Lucky, Abe, they SHOT you...now pray with me, Jew-boy..."
Barry inexplicably channels the ghost of funny Akroyd.

Best of Jay Guevara
"To hell with this sh!t. Where's the good art, the ones showing sturdy peasant youths on tractors?"

Best of Jack Reacher
"And so the Old Navy store devouring that woman is a symbol of...what? Help me out here, man."

Best of Seoulman (R)
This is nice, but after signing that bail out package bill, I am more in the mood to see some Maplethorpe

Best of divine miss m
"Everythin' in dis museum be tryin' to make us feel better about our corrupt, imperialistic, phallocratic heritage."

Best of Double the U
... and this is a picture of the Germans landing on Pearl Harbor.

45 comments:

dadoctah said...

I may not know much about art, but I know what they tell me I'm supposed to like.

Army of Dad said...

Goofus folds his arms and tries to supress a giggle, Gallant tries to figure out why the Japs like Hentai in the first place.

Army of Dad said...

Mouth breather and a painting of a meat eater...

Army of Dad said...

BO's tour of MIB goes well until he see the Most Wanted posters and see Michelle's va-jay-jay.

dub said...

"Nice...a framed lithigraph from Gorillas In The Mist".

"No Mr President, that is your family picture".


ATDHE

dub said...

Hmmm....could use more Cowbell.

dub said...

So.....THAT'S where da white women at.

Mr Hankey said...

You kind of have to cross your eyes to see it pop out at you....

Submariner said...

Replace this with, uh, one of those, uh, velvet paintings of uh, dogs playing, uh, poker...

Passionate Conservative said...

Barack:"...no, no, no. I disagree. It's the story of man's inhumanity to man. It has to be a commentary on the last eight years of Bush."

Nameless honky: "If so, why is it called Barack's America?"

Passionate Conservative said...

Barack:"Obviously, it's a nazi concentration camp..."

Nameless honky: "No sir, it's a painting of your in-law's home..."

Passionate Conservative said...

..."Don't tell me I can't buy this painting! Remember, I won!"

flyovercountry said...

Obama, "I see the artist in this painting was trying to portray the heartbreak and struggle that women face as they try to succeed in a man's world."

White guy, "Actually Mr. President, they are paintings some kids did of your wife."

flyovercountry said...

White guy thought bubble:
I'm not going to tell dufus that these are actually not famous paintings, but artwork from my wife's kindergarten class.

Silhouette said...

Obama's tour of the White House continues.

"Fireplace - not a door. Door. Door. Thermostat - Not a door. Two paintings - Not doors."

molson said...

Yeah. That one's got to be worth at least $15 billion. Have Geithner cut another check.

Rodney Dill said...

"Mama used ta parboil them suckas."

prince of leaves said...

Bringing change to the White House decor, Obama throws out the entire presidential portraiture collection and replaces it with cheesy "tribal" art that better matches his "Egg of Power".

prince of leaves said...

"Impressive technique - you can't even see the velvet until you're right up close!"

prince of leaves said...

"You have chosen well, Bob. These will make fine additions to our upcoming Degenerate Art exhibition."

dadoctah said...

Notice how the tits seem to follow you around the room...?

Jay Guevara said...

"Damn, them NEA artists be fly!"

Matt The K said...

"You were Lucky, Abe, they SHOT you...now pray with me, Jew-boy..."
Barry inexplicably channels the ghost of funny Akroyd.

Jay Guevara said...

"To hell with this sh!t. Where's the good art, the ones showing sturdy peasant youths on tractors?"

Jack Reacher said...

ORA: "So if we get them some food stamps, these artists will no longer be starving. Will they still paint?"

Jack Reacher said...

"And so the Old Navy store devouring that woman is a symbol of...what? Help me out here, man."

Seoulman (R) said...

you know what would make this painting even better, dogs playing poker I love that one.

Seoulman (R) said...

The title of this is "Hope and Change"? Have the painter's head delivered to me on a silver platter by noon.

Seoulman (R) said...

I took art appreciation in college and let me tell you - this ain't art and I don't appreciate it.

Seoulman (R) said...

this is nice, but after signing that bail out package bill, I am more in the mood to see some Maplethorpe

Seoulman (R) said...

In the spirit of supporting the Fairness Doctrine, the museum decided to bring in some crap to display and some paintings too

curly said...

“…So in the interest of the Fairness Doctrine, Fox News will be required to broadcast stills of this faggy painting in equal amounts of time that Shawn Hannity is on the air?”

curly said...

“Nothing quite says ‘The Picture of Dorian Gay’ like this painting. I'll take it.”

curly said...

“Under my health care plan, I would have attached Van Gogh’s ear to Sarah Palin’s ass.”

Kaptain Krude said...

Silhouette said...

Obama's tour of the White House continues.

"Fireplace - not a door. Door. Door. Thermostat - Not a door. Two paintings - Not doors."


*clap clap clap* VERY good!

Jay Guevara said...

Obama thought bubble: "I'm gonna fire somebody if I have to tour one more gynecology clinic."

Rodney Dill said...

"So this was the view Jimmy Carter had?"

divine miss m said...

ORA

"Yes, Sweetie, but is it art?"

divine miss m said...

"Everythin' in dis museum be tryin' to make us feel better about our corrupt, imperialistic, phallocratic heritage."

Double the U said...

... and this is a picture of the Germans landing on Perl Harbor.

GregMan said...

"I love dinosaur paintings. Is this a T-rex?"

"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."

GregMan said...

"This painting of a wild boar is so likelike you can almost smell it."

"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."

GregMan said...

"I don't care if the NEA funded Piss Christ and Madonna in Dung. This is too revolting even for them!"

"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."

Beginning to see a pattern here?

GregMan said...

ORA: "By God, Elliott, it was a photograph from life!"

"No, Mr. President, that's a portrait of the first lady."

Submariner said...

...but could it run on page 6 of the Post, Elliot?