1. "Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid."
2. "This is the Final Boarding Call for Sullivan Airlines Flight 69 to Fire Island."
3. "I have sexed this plane and determined it to be male. I mean, c'mon look at those testicles."
4. "How can you have a peanut allergy? We busted you in a raid at peanut processing plant."
5. Ironically, boarding was delayed while a cargo of fudge was packed onto the plane.
Wicked Best of The Man
Tell Senator Frank that we don't have any younger, smaller planes for him.
Best of Matt the K
In a controversial move, the FBI uses Gitmo detainees to test various "D.B. Cooper" skydiving theories.
Best of dub
Look kid, you'll be fine. Its only a 45 minute flight to Buffalo. What's the worst that could happen??
Best of Jay Guevara
Prisoner: "Your pilots know how to land too, right?"
Best of Mr. Right
"Look, Sayid, I'm sure all those visions of smoke monsters, polar bears and this mysterious group of people you call 'The Others' were just nightmares. Now get on board and just try to relax, okay? Everything will be perfectly fine, trust me."
Best of Jack Reacher
Crews position the litter box for the Hello Kitty corporate jet.
Best of Army of Dad
We will always have the showers...now go before I have to cry in front of the other guards!
Best of Mr. Hankey
A re-creation of the 'Nadya Suleman' labor & delivery room.
Best of dadoctah
Wait! I think I spotted William Shatner on the wing!
Best of prince of leaves
"For the last time, Hamid, it's *not* a *cookbook*. Now hurry up, the Kanamit ambassador is waiting."
Best of mega
"C'mon folks, all ten of you need to get on board this jet so we can fly to Tahiti for the global warming conference!"
Best of jj
Whatever you do, just don't speak to Garland 'The Marietta Mangler' Greene.
Best of Submariner
Gettin' on? Not so bad; but I'm gonna feel like a turd coming off...