Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Happy to See Me?

Brender

1. Bob would come to regret asking the genie to transform his penis into "the biggest trouser python the world has ever seen."

2. "Dude, I am so sorry about your chihuahua."

3. "I am almost sure Mr. Sullivan wanted you to wear a feather boa, but, whatever, dude."

4. "Dude, this is going to be the best auto-erotic asphyxiation ever!"

5. "This should get Lemmiwinks out of there!"

Best of flyovercountry
Mike and Fred's great idea for a new pest extermination business had a couple of fatal flaws. First, the snake preferred small children to mice, and second, a lot of people are afraid of snakes.

Best of The Man
...because Barney Frank called, he wants Stimulus now!

Best of metalgarth
Ron Jeremy's illegitimate children aren't tough to find.

Best of satted
Introducing the new sales rep for Enzyte.

Best of Army of Mom
CEILING CAT WUZ APPETIZER

Best of Silhouette
In a modern retelling, Adam and Steve are tempted by the forbidden adjustable rate mortgage.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Have you seen the size of the rats in this neighborhood?"
The Realtor's mind raced as he tried to come up with a positive spin for this scene before his prospects got out of his car.

Best of dadoctah
Around here, even the Mormon missionaries are a little different.

Best of Matt the K
Slash rewarded his new Craigslist purchase by feeding him the delivery boys.

Best of Jay Guevara
"OK, here's the house with the manic chimp. We throw in the snake, bolt the door, and watch from the window to see who wins."

Best of mega
The only thing giant human-killing chimps have done in this guy's neighborhood is mysteriously disappear.

42 comments:

flyovercountry said...

Mike and Fred soon found out that a cute puppy worked much better for meeting girls than a large snake.

flyovercountry said...

Mike and Fred's great idea for a new pest extermination business had a couple of fatal flaws. First, the snake preferred small children to mice, and second, a lot of people are afraid of snakes.

The Man said...

...because Barney Frank called, he wants Stimulus now!

metalgarth said...

Ron Jeremy's illegitimate children aren't tough to find.


vw: pronstra (!!!)

metalgarth said...

Nothing to see here, just a couple of roadies for Alice Cooper (after he overdosed on human growth hormone)

satted said...

Introducing the new sales rep for Enzyte.

Army of Mom said...

Stop me if you heard this one before, two dweebs and a python head into Vegas ...

satted said...

Hey man, I gotta itch right on the end there.....

satted said...

Hey dude, lets ask Obama for a free home.....

satted said...

Taste like chicken.....

Army of Mom said...

Michelle Obama finds inspiration for her dresses in the most unusual places.

Army of Mom said...

After finding the snake in the grass, the boys decided to name it Obama.

Army of Mom said...

I've got your stimulus package right here!

Army of Mom said...

CEILING CAT WUZ APPETIZER

Army of Mom said...

Too many curves, dub won't like her.

divine miss m said...

No wonder William Shatner’s restraining order against him is still in effect.

dub said...

Dont worry dude, third times a charm....this one is sure to be long enoug to reach Mr Gere's gerbil.

steve o said...

Yeah, that's right! My little "Mr. Python" is so big, I hired the local bully to help me carry it!

dadoctah said...

Let's do the math: Doesn't bark. Doesn't chase cars. When it sheds it's all in one big easy-to-dispose-of piece. Doesn't try to hump your girlfriend's father's leg. Doesn't have puppies on the suit you wear to job interviews.

Only real downside is what a major endeavor it is taking him for walkies.

Silhouette said...

In a modern retelling, Adam and Steve are tempted by the forbidden adjustable rate mortgage.

DaveP. said...

ORA: Looks like Lemmy finally got his lizard squeezed.

Jack Reacher said...

Although snakes have a highly developed sense of smell, logistical issues kept them from outpacing dogs as tracking animals.

Jack Reacher said...

"So we just lug it around, waiting to see what drops out? Dude, I see why you named it Stimulus."

Submariner said...

Just wait'll the ginger kid climbs in his spaceship this afternoon; I GAR_OHN_TEE he'll "take off" this time!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"Have you seen the size of the rats in this neighborhood?"
The Realtor's mind raced as he tried to come up with a positive spin for this scene before his prospects got out of his car.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Frat boys on their way to prank a pair of blondes in a stairwell with a "hot new version" of the double-headed dildo.

Chrees said...

The only tail the guy on the left will get all year.

Chrees said...

ORA: "That's not Monty!!!"

dadoctah said...

Around here, even the Mormon missionaries are a little different.

Matt the K said...

Slash rewarded his new Craigslist purchase by feeding him the delivery boys.

steve o said...

Steve O gets a tattoo to make his "little Mr. Steve O" look like a python.


wv: fantsisi

sonicfrog said...

Hot Snake Tuesday! Thanks V!

sonicfrog said...

What happens when you don't go to the hospital when you have adverse affects from using Enzyte!

sonicfrog said...

Boy, talk about government waste. Yes, this Boa was also purchased with money from the Obama stimulus package.

Jay Guevara said...

"OK, here's the house with the manic chimp. We throw in the snake, bolt the door, and watch from the window to see who wins."

Seoulman (R) said...

Don't you get it Dude, I'm going as Bill Clinton.

Seoulman (R) said...

When life imitates a Simpsons episode, wacky things are going to happen

Seoulman (R) said...

Snakes on a Plane II lacked many of the special effects that made the first a blockbuster

Seoulman (R) said...

The live version of Beavis and Butthead not only lacked a plot but seconds after this photo was shot, a leading man.

Seoulman (R) said...

Sammy thought he smelled "pocket mouse" but was sadly mistaken

dadoctah said...

I just want to be there to watch when you try to convince Mom that "it followed me home".

mega said...

The only thing giant human-killing chimps have done in this guy's neighborhood is mysteriously disappear.