Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Young Kennedies on the Couch


1. Before her career in music took off, Amy Winehouse made ends meet by baby-sitting.

2. Snore... grunt... "No Bubbles, I don't want any more Jesus Juice" ... Snore

3. "I don't care if we can't get a sitter, we are going to THIS HISTORIC INAUGURATION! The kids'll be fine on their own for a week or two."

4. The scary part is, the Wal-Mart photo center found nothing unusual about the request.

5. How to tell if the Blue Collar Comedy Tour has been molesting your children.

Best of metalgarth
Fast forward 20 years... Kathryn and Joe's friends wonder why they think "animal crackers and spaghetti-os" are a miracle hangover cure.

Best of The Man
Canadian home-schoolin'

Best of dadoctah
When Alice left to marry Sam the butcher, the Brady household just went all to hell.

Best of Snowdog
"I got her back to my place and I was totally gonna score and then we both passed out on the couch."
"Bummer, dude."

Best of molson
The Rehab Headstart Program was an overwhelming success.

Best of Matt the Kostume
Looks like Britney's got the kids again this weekend.

Best of dub
If that girl isnt careful she's going to have a double chin by the 3rd grade.

Best of Passionate Conservative
...as a matter of fact, I DO remember my first beer. Here's a polaroid of the event.

Best of Army of Dad
No, it's ok. They are way too young to drive and too short to reach the pedals in any event.

Best of prince of leaves
Me and the kids would still be partying if the ex hadn't turned those pictures over to the Friend of the Court.

Best of Rodney Dill
Redwings fans start young

Best of mklasing
After receiving mortgage assistance, a free tv converter and a $1000 from the government, this unemployed family of Democrats used the extra money to buy necessities.

Best of satted
And when I grow up I want to be a union work at GM....

Best of Submariner
Child care will be provided with your ticket to Monster-Truck XII!

50 comments:

Matt the K said...

Susie's chances of being accepted to Montessori School were totally blown when the admissions officer found this suggestive facebook pic.

Matt the K said...

SuperNanny wept.

Matt the K said...

Lurleen and Cletus became the laughing stock of the trailer park when it was learned they were punks who couldn't hold their liquor.

Matt the K said...

Rayleen and her WalMart lab coworker were finally outraged enough to make a report, cuz them kids was drinkin' CANADIAN beer and that just ain't right.

metalgarth said...

The end result of giving your offspring 'Spuds MacKenzie' dolls before they can handle it

metalgarth said...

Little Katie and Joey ages... er... BAC's .04 and .03 respectively

metalgarth said...

Fast forward 20 years... Kathryn and Joe's friends wonder why they think "animal crackers and spaghetti-os" are a miracle hangover cure.

The Man said...

Canadian home-schoolin'

Jack Reacher said...

When Timmy and Amanda wanted Hope, they drank. Then they needed Change.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Better than Nyquil
Young babysitter's homemade ad demonstrates how she handles unruly kids. - UR doing it wrong!

OR

Closet Crib Drinkers
Nightline exposes the real reason why urchins continuously vomit.
(as a confirmed non-spawner, I've always suspected this despite protestations from the ringing biological clocks sect)

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Future AA members and mandatory auto breathalyzer users...
->> condemned by MADD
->> defended by ambulance chasers
->> ignored by medical research
->> preyed upon by revenue-hungry bureaucrats

Carpe Phlogiston said...

This scene was responsible for the cancellation of Jeff Foxworthy's new reality show "Trailer Park Latchkey Kidz" -
Bridgette's eyes fluttered and she mumbled, "When the cat's away, the mice will... unnnggghhh BLEECCCCHHHH"

Rodney Dill said...

SSDD

dadoctah said...

When Alice left to marry Sam the butcher, the Brady household just went all to hell.

flyovercountry said...

After a rough day on the playground, there's nothing wrong with a couple of beers to unwind.

flyovercountry said...

What happens when you let your kids watch MTV.

WV chimp, the kid's father.

Whacko said...

While mom was at the Drunk Chick picnic, the kids decided to unwind a little.

Snowdog said...

"I got her back to my place and I was totally gonna score and then we both passed out on the couch."
"Bummer, dude."

molson said...

The Rehab Headstart Program was an overwhelming success.

Matt the Kostume said...

Typical snapshot from Paris Hilton's baby picture album.

Matt the Kostume said...

Looks like Britney's got the kids again this weekend.

molson said...

It takes a village of idiots.

Matt the Kostume said...

Duffboy says OHhhhh YEAAHHHH!!!

attmay said...

I don't know what's worse, that kids are getting drunk, or their bad taste in beer.

dub said...

If that girl isnt careful she's going to have a double chin by the 3rd grade.

mega said...

Liberals were outraged when the picture became public. How COULD these parents use a pacifier without a proper, prominently displayed warning label?

Passionate Conservative said...

...as a matter of fact, I DO remember my first beer. Here's a polaroid of the event.

Army of Dad said...

No, it's ok. They are way too young to drive and too short to reach the pedals in any event.

Army of Dad said...

When they grow up they will switch to a real beer.

Army of Dad said...

'ow to Speak Australian

Babysitter.

prince of leaves said...

Me and the kids would still be partying if the ex hadn't turned those pictures over to the Friend of the Court.

Silhouette said...

"'Cause it's whose clues? Blue's Clues!"

Rodney Dill said...

The surprise was that Inigo even remembered his father after he grew up.

Rodney Dill said...

Redwings fans start young

Submariner said...

Rodney Dill said...
Redwings fans start young


Oh no you di'n't!

Submariner said...

Two young Penguins' fans ease their pain following the 08 Stanley Cup final game.

Rodney Dill said...

Oh no you di'n't!
...yes I did, and I'm a Redwings fan too.

Rodney Dill said...

Telebubblies

steve o said...

Bubba always made sure the kids got a full night's sleep.

jeff said...

Adolf Hitler Campbell and his sister, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell show why New Jersey CPS really took them from their parents.

Submariner said...

Wha-a-a-at?
One of 'em had a toothache, I think...

mklasing said...

After receiving mortgage assistance, a free tv converter and a $1000 from the government, this unemployed family of Democrats used the extra money to buy necessities.

satted said...

Ah the memories...

satted said...

Hey, lets go get tatoo'ed....

satted said...

Hey, isn't that mom out on the picnic table?

satted said...

And when I grow up I want to be a union work at GM....

Chrees said...

When Benadryl isn't enough...

Submariner said...

Child care will be provided with your ticket to Monster-Truck XII!

satted said...

Mom, Dad you look so young in that photo....

satted said...

NASCAR had gott'en so boring...