Saturday, January 17, 2009

Trail of Tears

Brender
1. "Thank you for flying... um... US Airways."

2. "This was a great beach until Al Gore showed up."

3. "Welcome to Rura Pente. Work well, and you will be treated well. Work badly... and you will die."

4. "Come on prisoners of Work Camp number 413, I'm not seeing much hope and change coming from you..."

5. "Hey, Satan, did the UAW just make a wage concession or something?"

Best of Submariner
Apparently, the Stars won the Cup somewhere...

Best of Silhouette
One out of 11 Americans watches the Weather Channel every morning.

Best of Silhouette
Okay, who ate a York Peppermint pattie?

Best of John
If that guy in the bathrobe sings "Hi ho, hi ho" one more time, I'm outta here.

Best of mega
Even after the doomed group started eating their dead, still, no one would part with their sacred copies of "An Inconvenient Truth" for kindling.

Best of mega
If all the citizens of Southhampton would just agree to do their recycling the right way, we wouldn't have to see scenes of cruel punishment such as this.

Best of prince of leaves
Tourists were evacuated Tuesday afternoon after a Columbian cocaine-smuggling submarine capsized and its cargo washed up on several major resort beaches.

Best of Passionate Conservative
The 4th Supply Corps gets it wrong again.

Best of Passionate Conservative
Global warming ruined the Folsom Street Fair for everyone except Mr. Freeze.

Best of Matt the Kostume
After trying to cross the Swiss Alps in February, the Von Trapps just decide to become Nazis.

Best of Matt the K
Everywhere the Polar Bear Club went it seemed some crazt old coot had fouled their swimming hole.

Best of molson
Sure. Wear shoes to walk across the frozen tundra. Candy asses!

Best of Rodney Dill
Donner Party Favors

Best of steve o
The Canadian producers had a little hiccup in altering the standard format for "Survivor: Nova Scotia."

LOL Best of Tim
drunk on Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, Arthur Dent only begins to sober up halfway thru the deathmarch.

46 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Rosie O'Donnell Fan Club...
The entire Rosie O'Donnell Fan Club.

Achilles said...

If this is hell, one of my caps just made the best of list.

Submariner said...

Apparently, the Stars won the Cup somewhere...

prince of leaves said...

Tierra del Fuegans enjoy another balmy day at the beach.

Silhouette said...

One out of 11 Americans watches the Weather Channel every morning.

Silhouette said...

Okay, who ate a York Peppermint pattie?

John said...

San Fransisco Civic Light Opera presents "Gaylord of the Rings."

John said...

If that guy in the bathrobe sings "Hi ho, hi ho" one more time, I'm outta here.

Buzzhead said...

Yet another group of brain-washed sheeple that refuse to give up on the global warming myth.

Buzzhead said...

The Kos kids prepare for inauguration day.

Buzzhead said...

Third person in line, is that the inflatable rubber cowboy?

dadoctah said...

I hated doing jury duty, even before Homeland Security started screening people at the door.

wv: probes. Wasn't there supposed to be a filter that kept it from picking actual words?

mega said...

The government bailout of the apparel industry left the Treasury Department in charge of picking clothing for Obama's winter road-building crews.

mega said...

Outback Adventures dealt with the harsh economic reality by eliminating pre-trip planning kits.

mega said...

Even after the doomed group started eating their dead, still, no one would part with their sacred copies of "An Inconvenient Truth" for kindling.

mega said...

When the snarling dogs came over the hill, the unpaid extras in Defiance quite en masse, feeling that the whole vibe was just not worth it.

mega said...

It sure woulda been helpful if Europe had taken it seriously when Putin turned off the natgas and said "Enjoy the winter."

mega said...

If all the citizens of Southhampton would just agree to do their recycling the right way, we wouldn't have to see scenes of cruel punishment such as this.

mega said...

"And here, we will build a new road over the next 18 months. Those of you who voted Democrat, please head over to the shed for coats and tools."

dub said...

A Thursday we will go, a Thursday we will go, hi-ho-cheerio a Thursday we will go.

Army of Dad said...

PETA's polar bear club offers themselves to the great predators to help them survive global warming.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Bankers, legislators, corporate executives and naked short sellers involved in the rape of the Treasury were eventually caught, stripped of possessions and force-marched into the wilderness, never to be heard from again. (although Ted Stevens was spotted chopping his way through a frozen stream) "Graft Vacuum" vacanies on Capitol Hill will be filled on a first bankrupted, first vetted basis.

-OR-

SURVIVOR: BANFF, The Walk of Shame
The day after a drunken orgy, the tribe learns that the oversexed blonde in the afro was a guy in drag.

Word Verify: havengi - That's why it's called a walk of shame.

prince of leaves said...

Tourists were evacuated Tuesday afternoon after a Columbian cocaine-smuggling submarine capsized and its cargo washed up on several major resort beaches.

flyovercountry said...

Al Gore finally admitted that global warming was simply a last ditch effort by him to remain relevant when the 2025 Idiotarod venue was moved to Florida, and the dog teams replaced with white people in swim suits.

Passionate Conservative said...

Well, you're the dumbass that wanted to get rid of "Don't ask don't tell." Now we're all stationed in Alaska with that moose-hunting governor!

Passionate Conservative said...

The 4th Supply Corps gets it wrong again.

Passionate Conservative said...

Global warming ruined the Folsom Street Fair for everyone except Mr. Freeze.

Matt the Kostume said...

After trying to cross the Swiss Alps in February, the Von Trapps just decide to become Nazis.

Matt the K said...

Everywhere the Polar Bear Club went it seemed some crazt old coot had fouled their swimming hole.

Submariner said...

Where the Fukowi? Here the Fukowi. And with this simple discovery, a piece of Native American folklore was finally answered...

Matt the K said...

Hoping to find a kindred spirit, the Vail Exhibitionist Clubs treks out to see the dangling skier they saw on the net.

molson said...

Sure. Wear shoes to walk across the frozen tundra. Candy asses!

molson said...

So yetis weren't a myth after all.

molson said...

Man these Al Gore sponsored ecotours sure do suck.

Rodney Dill said...

Donner Party Favors

Barco Sin Vela II said...

Karl Rove and his family are frog-marched out of D.C. before the inauguration.

Van Helsing said...

Moonbat pilgrims trudge toward DC for the Ascension of The One.

Chrees said...

ORA: "What kind of f&cked up tour is this?"

sonicfrog said...

Overhears from one of the French Riviera vacationers: "Oh Fuck, no one told us Al Gore would be here this week-end."

jeff said...

Wimps. They're wearing flip-flops and slippers.

steve o said...

I'll bet the guy in the Santa Robe feels silly.

steve o said...

"How the heck should I know how it happened?

I called Tiara to ask what she was wearing today, and then Jessica called and asked me. Then I told Charlene -- she was with her new boyfriend when I called. You know, Ralph, who everyone thinks is gay but he says he isn't...

And then Bridget called Tiara..."

steve o said...

Well, a bet is a bet. And Burris is seated, after all.

steve o said...

The Canadian producers had a little hiccup in altering the standard format for "Survivor: Nova Scotia."

Buzzhead said...

The candidates for next Thursday prepare for their photo shoot.


wv = subli (subby lies?)

Tim said...

drunk on Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, Arthur Dent only begins to sober up halfway thru the deathmarch.