Monday, January 19, 2009

Sword of the RINO

Brender

1. "I recognize this sword! It's the same one Maria used to cut off my balls and turn me into a big-spending Democrat."

2. "When we show you the queen of spades, you will run the sword through the heart of the Republican party."

3. "This reminds me of what my penis looked like before the steroid abuse."

4. "I'm Crazy Ahnuld! These used car prices are too high! I will slash them... sorry, just practicing for a commercial I'm going to cut after my term ends."

5. "By the Power of... unh... By the... unh... power of... Help me lift this thing!"

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Tom Cruise as a German? Ha! Little nancy-boy! I should have had that role! I could have taken Hitler... to the extreme!"

Best of dadoctah
"I swear, Sonny Bono, that thou shall not have died in vain!"

Best of dadoctah
"With Janet Napolitano resigning to take a cabinet post, I am once again the butchest governor in America!"

Best of Jack Reacher
"I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my party. Prepare to die!"

Best of 6 degrees of blondness
Pelosi: "Arnold! What is best in life?"
Ahnold: "To betray conservatives...to see them driven into the political wilderness...to hear the lamentation of those who love the Constitution!"
Pelosi: "That is good."

Best of Double the U
Better put this down before government spending accidentally gets slashed.

Best of molson
My balls have shriveled to the size of a California raisin so... Your balls. Give zem to me. Now!

Best of Silhouette
"Yes, it is large, but I get really big letters."

Best of Silhouette
"Okay, bring me the baby and we'll settle this dispute."

Best of Army of Dad
Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles.Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins.

Best of Buzzhead
I like you, I will kill you last.

Best of prince of leaves
"Umm, Mr. Schwarzenegger? The California Constitution allows the Governor to perform marriages, not ritual circumcisions."

Best of flyovercountry
The governors Monday morning staff meetings became somewhat frightening when he started picking sacrifices to the tax gods.

34 comments:

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I am not afrayd of backlash becouze of the IOU's our tax division iz sending to da peoples who expect cash refunds. I haf ziz magik sword und I know how to uzzit.

WordVerify: lotion - what the jerkoffs in congress are running low on these days

dub said...

The Governator came prepared to the harsh budget meetings.... Sword...scowl...and Pookie, the loveable teddy bear. Hooray, we're saved!

Carpe Phlogiston said...

You shoulda seen the look of terror on his face when I pulled back the curtain, waved this and told Teddie I was ready to operate! I still don't understand why Maria didn't laff.

WordVerify: distom - disdick disharry

Rodney Dill said...

Where's Hillary... They don't call the a broad sword for nuthin'

Kaptain Krude said...

"Tom Cruise as a German? Ha! Little nancy-boy! I should have had that role! I could have taken Hitler... to the extreme!"

dadoctah said...

"I swear, Sonny Bono, that thou shall not have died in vain!"

dadoctah said...

"With Janet Napolitano resigning to take a cabinet post, I am once again the butchest governor in America!"

Jack Reacher said...

"I am Inigo Montoya. You killed my party. Prepare to die!"

Jack Reacher said...

"Vell I can't use this to veto a spending bill and tax increase. Guess I will haff to let it pass."

6 degrees of blondness said...

Pelosi: "Arnold! What is best in life?"

Ahnold: "To betray conservatives...to see them driven into the political wilderness...to hear the lamentation of those who love the Constitution!"

Pelosi: "That is good."

Matt the Kostume said...

Conan the Actuarian.

Double the U said...

Better put this down before government spending gets slashed.

molson said...

My balls have shriveled to the size of a California raisin so... Your balls. Give zem to me. Now!

Army of Dad said...

Conan the Octagenarian.

Army of Dad said...

Now I am king!

Army of Dad said...

Obama, come back. Is time to play pin the tail on the donkey!

Silhouette said...

ORA- "A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiams... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Swordplay!"

Silhouette said...

"Yes, it is large, but I get really big letters."

Silhouette said...

"Okay, bring me the baby and we'll settle this dispute."

Army of Dad said...

Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles.Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins.

Team!

Army of Dad said...

oh heck, you go looking for a quote and by the time you get back someone else had the same idea.

prince of leaves said...

And with a single sudden slash of the blade, the Governator decapitates Chuck Schumer and redeems himself with conservatives across the land.

Buzzhead said...

Why do you people keep calling Arnold? I am Conan!!

Buzzhead said...

I like you, I will kill you last.

Buzzhead said...

Go ahead with the meeting, I forgot to shave this morning.

Buzzhead said...

Do you know where I can find Sarah Connor?

prince of leaves said...

"Umm, Mr. Schwarzenegger? The California Constitution allows the Governor to perform marriages, not ritual circumcisions."

prince of leaves said...

In a show of bipartisanship, Barack Obama selects Arnold Schwarzenegger to present the Sword of State at his coronation.

Shambhala said...

6 Degrees of Blondness:

That was ... undescribably funny and sadly true.

Rodney Dill said...

Where's Hillary... They don't call this a broad sword for nuthin'

(corrected)

OneThing said...

Overcompensation? You F***! I'll show you overcompensation!

dub said...

Obligatory: Where will you be when your Conan kicks in?

flyovercountry said...

The governors Monday morning staff meetings became somewhat frightening when he started picking sacrifices to the tax gods.

flyovercountry said...

The governor shows his staff memorabilia from the Conan the Barbarian movies. What is not widely known is that right after this photo was taken, the Sacramento PD burst in and arrested the governor for possession of an offensive weapon. They took his threats to their pensions seriously.