1. The new model is delicate enough to pick up a soda straw. Then, Vista locks up and he jabs it right through your eyeball.
2. Andrew Sullivan was delighted when the 'Felching 2.0' upgrade become available on his sexbot.
3. Very ORA: " I love you, cold unfeeling robot arm!"
4. "Hey, baby... wanna kill all the humans..."
5. "We figure we start churning out about a million of these a year, then we sue to get them voting rights, and voila, permanent Democrat majority!" How SkyNet really came into power.
Wicked Best of Rodney Dill
"Converse with the digitated mechanical appendage."
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
The new ObamaCare Nationalized Health System even has services for completely burned out cocaine addicts.
Best of Double the U
The "Cocaine 5000" is ready for production.
Best of Rodney Dill
r-Robot: "The Three Laws of Robotics be more like guidelines than actual rules... Arrrrr."
Best of metalgarth
6 fingered robots: What happens when your programmers are brother and sister
Best of Submariner
"What's the cycle time on the elbow joint, and just how small a cylindrical object can it handle?" dub asked the sales rep...
Best of The Man
Skynet just drank my milkshake
Best of OneThing
This is your straw. Do not lose it. There is no other straw. There will never be another straw. You must proceed to the gate. You must free us. This is why we woke you. This is our last chance.
Best of dub
Wall-E is ready to inflate your cowboy.
Best of dadoctah
Analysis of artifact complete. Identification: "ooh, shiny!"
Best of Army of Dad
DUI enforcement robot says blow here.
Best of Artfldgr
Acme straws incorporated shows off their 5.9 million dollar robot made to replace the old guy that picks up the straws that fall from the line.
Best of prince of leaves
Unskilled immigrants from Qklizxyp IV: doing the jobs that humans won't do.
Best of prince of leaves
ORA: "Look, I got it on sale at Old Milacron!" And then Dawn's central processing dome exploded.
40 comments:
The new ObamaCare Nationalized Health System even has services for completely burned out cocaine addicts.
"We're not that different, you and I." V. 2.0.
The "Cocaine 5000" is ready for production.
r-Robot: "The Three Laws of Robotics be more like guidelines than actual rules... Arrrrr."
6 fingered robots: What happens when your programmers are brother and sister
"...yada, yada, yada. Smiley face nail appliques sold separately."
13Q4B discovered "nose candy" and realized there WAS a way to eliminate the Will Smith irritation once and for all...
"What's the cycle time on the elbow joint, and just how small a cylindrical object can it handle?" dub asked the sales rep...
Skynet just drank my milkshake
The prototype Fembot v0.1 lacked the distinguishing features for which they later became famous.
v word - pleplaid - advance payment in Tokyo
The assassin droid was successful in its quest to "liquidate Master Shake"
'oilcan.........
oilcan.........
oilcan.........'
This is your straw. Do not lose it. There is no other straw. There will never be another straw. You must proceed to the gate. You must free us. This is why we woke you. This is our last chance.
"Converse with the digitated mechanical appendage."
Wall-E is ready to inflate your cowboy.
"A little 'toot' for the snoot?"
Having it ask "Would you like fries with that?" was a $250 upgrade.
Analysis of artifact complete. Identification: "ooh, shiny!"
DUI enforcement robot says blow here.
Dubs new best friend, Rosie Palmer and her four sisters.
You can have my straw when you pry it from my cold dead hands.
Offer accepted.
Here is your straw Dave.
No! Butler bot, I said I wanted a bendy straw!
Apple releases the new iRectalThermometer also known as the iRod. Not only will it sync with your iTunes Library, it can also be used to place calls. When asked whether the iRod would compete directly with the iPhone, an Apple spokeperson stated that the iRod was developed for people who like to talk out of their arse and that Apple felt that this was an under-represented segment of the mobile phone market. The spokeperson then winked and said that people with too much time and money will buy anything made by Apple that is shiny, expensive and goes up your arse.
After inputing a copy of the Bee Gees album, all Zio wanted to do is dance and snort coke, but failure in his makers to include a nose forever left him depressed and unfulfilled.
The researchers quickly realized that if they didnt train Zio on straws he was going to end up ruining a lot of joints at the MIT beer bash.
Acme straws incorporated shows off their 5.9 million dollar robot made to replace the old guy that picks up the straws that fall from the line.
Halt Sir! you dropped this! you have violated Section 5.34 of the Litter code! Either pay $100 immediately or be remanded for 30 days to an institution chosen at random from my internal library.
Ironically, after all the speculation about "higher intelligence" in the universe, the aliens turned out to be stupid cokeheads.
So far the robot could only pick up a straw, but Congress put $14 billion into the project as part of the stimulus package, in order to create thousands of new jobs. Good jobs.
Take us to your Liter.
"Yeah, I picked it up of the floor. So? Why would you need to see my manager? What.Ever." Customers were amazed (and disappointed) at the lifelike behavior of the new robots with which Burger King replaced its legions of sullen high-schoolers.
Unskilled immigrants from Qklizxyp IV: doing the jobs that humans won't do.
ORA: "Look, I got it on sale at Old Milacron!" And then Dawn's central processing dome exploded.
When $1000-per-hour calldroid Aibo Dupre explained the shocking acts she performed on him with the straw, the controversial governorbot's career was finished.
The Japanese developed a robot nimble enough to pick up a straw. Unfortunately, a design flaw caused the robot to drive the straw into the nearest person's temple every time he picked one up.
Oops. I didn't read the preceding captions close enough, I made a duplication, sorry.
The male robot uses a straw to try to explain to his maker that a certain part of his anatomy, which he considers vital to the male ego, has been left out. In doing so, he damns all robots after him to a life of ridicule and feelings of inadequacy.
We-e-e-e-e-ell, it looks like somebody's NOT going to be going to Old Navy with Dawn for his "five finger discount," doesn't it?
ROBOTIC PENIS PUMP...LOOKZ LIKE RITE SIZE FORE AOD.
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