1. V the K blames his inability to be as funny as Iowahawk on traumatic childhood incidents like this.
2. "That foaming at the mouth? It means he just brushed his teeth, Billy."
3. "Notice how while you have experienced a head-rush, all your money has fallen from your pockets and been snatched up by greedy little scavengers. Now, do you understand Obamunism, Billy?"
4. "His guard is down, Billy. Grab him, and we'll eat meat tonight!" Oddly enough, the raccoon was thinking the same thing.
5. "Do you still wanna play with Barbie dolls, Billy? Or do I need to dangle teh ghey outta you some more?"
Best of Jack Reacher
Woman's thought bubble: If he's feeding them that, they're never gonna go for these rice cakes.
LOL Best of Matt the K
"And this is why having English majors as parents really sucks", lamented young Participle Smith.
Best of dub
Unlike other parts of the country, in the North they hang the white people over the coons.
sorry
Best of Rodney Dill
"NOOCCAR NOOCCAR!"
Best of Chrees
Hope and change... and zoos doubling as live birth abortion centers.
Best of jeff
Raccoon: "I've got him sir, you can let go of the legs now."
Best of DoubleU
Ok Billy, now try and pull his mask off.
Best of prince of leaves
"Ahh, another offering. You have done well, human...your raccoon overlords are well pleased."
Best of Colorado Patriot
"Okay, son. Now we'll continue yesterday's experiment by seeing if the dip in the septic pool will fend off the varmints."
Best of Jack Reacher
"Pull me back up, Dub. You were right--they're fatties."
Best of attmay
"Okay, but if we pull you up do you promise to be a good Democrat and worship The One like we told you?"
Best of ochagirl
I know that it's hard to quit visiting http://www.hangingkidsbytheirfeet.com, but TRY, V the K, just try.
Best of molson
The raccoons proved be relatively tame. The badger cage didn't go so well.
Best of Passionate Conservative
Bubba, stop feedin' the kids to the coons! You know it gives 'em gas!
32 comments:
Woman's thought bubble: If he's feeding them that, they're never gonna go for these rice cakes.
"And this is why having English majors as parents really sucks", lamented young Participle Smith.
Unlike other parts of the country, in the North they hang the white people over the coons.
sorry
In today's news, local boy Timmy Jones' head was mauled when Ricky Raccoon (left) turned around and mistook the boy's cap for sworn mortal enemy Rubber Ducky.
It's rather obvious that the phrase "crazy as a pet coon", does not refer to the coon in this photo.
"NOOCCAR NOOCCAR!"
Hope and change... and zoos doubling as live birth abortion centers.
Raccoon: "I've got him sir, you can let go of the legs now."
Ok Billy, now try and pull his mask off.
Noodling for racoons
"Ahh, another offering. You have done well, human...your raccoon overlords are well pleased."
As the Obama depression deepens in 2011, environmentalists discover that they can maintain biodiversity, reduce the overall human footprint on the increasingly troubled Earth, and dramatically reduce household expenses by feeding their children to zoo animals.
"...and if it please you, accept this sacrifice, melt this snow, and restore our normal weather patterns..." -- locals attempt to appease Gaia after a 'Global Warming' sermon from St. Algore.
"Okay, son. Now we'll continue yesterday's experiment by seeing if the dip in the septic pool will fend off the varmints."
Overworked German zoo officials asked patrons to volunteer with clean-up after racoons defaced their enclosure with obscene gang graffiti. One positive outcome... little Hermann would never again draw pictures on his parent's living room wall.
Pictures of the final showdown between Rocky and Daniel. Daniel was hot, as he drew first and shot
Rocky who collapsed in the corner.
Originally Rocky had come equipped with a gun to shoot off the legs of his rival who had apparently stolen the girl of his fancy named Magil - she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy.
Breathless Chris Matthews voiceover; "...and if little Ricky sees his entrails, it'll be 8 years of Hope and Change..."
"Pull me back up, Dub. You were right--they're fatties."
Children - The Other White Meat
Of course the raccoons are fat. Look at what they get fed.
"Okay, but if we pull you up do you promise to be a good Democrat and worship The One like we told you?"
"I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines!" --- EPIC FAIL!!!
I know that it's hard to quit visiting http://www.hangingkidsbytheirfeet.com, but TRY, V the K, just try.
There's something really, really, REALLY wrong with Wisconsin people.
I always wondered how they trained bear-baiters...
Da-ad; hanging me like this is bad enough. Would you just give the "Hakuna Matata" a REST!?!
I'm sorry Billy, but a bet's a bet, and you're the one who picked the Lions to go to the playoffs this year...
The raccoons proved be relatively tame. The badger cage didn't go so well.
These days if you want to win the Darwin Award, you gotta start young.
The treatment Billy got from his adopted parents made him realize that being raised by wolves in his earlier years hadn't been all that bad.
Bubba, stop feedin' the kids to the coons! You know it gives 'em gas!
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