1. "Your mother and I will miss you, son."
2. "Wow! An internship with the Mayor of Portland Oregon! How did you ever swing that, Abdul?"
3. Obama's next executive order allowed Gitmo detainees conjugal visits.
4. The Axe effect hits Afghanistan.
5. Tony Shaloub's role-playing fetishes are bizarre and elaborate.
Best of Carpe Plogiston
Where in the world is Stanley Tucci?
Nah, the Matt Lauer sandwich is more believable.
Best of GregMan
Achmed thought his father and uncle finally accepted his gay lifestyle. Unfortunately, they were only kissing him goodbye before stoning him to death.
Best of Silhouette
...walk into a bar.
Best of Barco Sin Vela II
Turkey, Syria and Saudi Arabia come out for Gaza.
Afterwards, they sang Broadway Show Tunes and played Charades.
Best of dadoctah
Everyone approved enthusiastically when Steve Carrell joined the Salvation Army.
Best of Army of Mom
Boris hums "torn between two lovers" to himself.
Best of Atomic Lib Smasher
"Not my ideal threesome, but I'll take it!" thought the 40 Year Old Virgin.
Best of Mr Hankey
Captain Sullenberger is sent off on his next mission.
Best of Uchuck the Tuchuck
The makers of Enzyte had not really thought through the "Smirking Mo" ad campaign for the Middle East....
Best of Matt the Kostume
Aaaaaahhhhhh, the perks of being President of Syria.