Monday, January 19, 2009

JR Ewingski pops in on the thug of Caracas

AM 42! (Am Not!)

1. "Amigos, get that damn thing out of here! Ventriloquist dummies freak me out!"

2. "How can I be violating your personal space, comrade? Under socialism, your fly belongs to all of us."

3. "For the last time, I have not seen moose and squirrel!"

4. "Yes, I was a passenger on Flight 1649. I want you to know, me and all the other passengers owe our lives to ... Howard Stern! Baba booey! Baba booey!! Baba booey!!"

5. "When the revolution comes, all the useful idiots will be shot! Except you, Rachel Maddow. You're one hot mama!"

Instantly Promoted Best of Jack Reacher
Meet Hugo. Once Hugo learned about Enzyte Natural Male Enhancement products, he nationalized the company, seized its inventory, and went on a binge that eventually required hospitalization and an entry in Guinness.

Best of DoubleU
Chevez calls the adult Castro chat line... and likes it.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
I'm telling you, Juan, it's really Mr. Bean! Put a hold on that cocaine shipment and meet us at the airport. His Bean Laden impersonation is hilarious. Hey, if you don't love it, I'll have him shot.

LOL Best of sonicfrog
Realizing the call was Ahmed breaking up with Chavez, Mandy Potemkin decided to make his move.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Hello, Ms. Huffington, how are you? What, the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor? No, Ms. Huffington, I'm afraid you've been punk'd by those pranksters at Caption This. It was really the Belgians. *snicker* Quiet, you guys, she's falling for it. This is the 'useful' part of her description."

Best of molson
Dude. Get your hand out of my pocket and please stop dry humping my leg. I'm trying to order a pizza here.

Best of Army of Dad
We've switched Hugo's usual yes man with a homosexual. Let's see if he notices.

Best of steve o
No, I don't need a "huggie-poo!"

Best of GregMan
ORA: "Know what I mean? Wink wink, nudge nudge? Say no more!"

Best of dub
Where will you be when your Communist kicks in?

Best of flyovercountry
Hello, is this MI6? We have captured 003, and he is not the "ladies" man that we expected. Would you please come and get him?

28 comments:

DoubleU said...

Chevez calls the adult Castro chat line... and likes it.

Jack Reacher said...

Meet Hugo. Once Hugo learned about Enzyte Natural Male Enhancement products, he nationalized the company, seized its inventory, and went on a binge that eventually required hospitalization and an entry in Guinness.

Jack Reacher said...

"Shhh! I'm gonna ask Obama if his refrigerator is running."

Jack Reacher said...

"That's not sulfur you're smelling, Hugo!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

I'm telling you, Juan, it's really Mr. Bean! Put a hold on that cocaine shipment and meet us at the airport. His Bean Laden impersonation is hilarious. Hey, if you don't love it, I'll have him shot.

metalgarth said...

And if anyone photoshops this picture to make it look like I don't know how to use a phone, I'll go Che on his ass!

sonicfrog said...

Realizing the call was Ahmed breaking up with Chavez, Mandy Potemkin decided to make his move.

Kaptain Krude said...

"No, I do not know a Prince Albert. What? Why would he be in the can? I don't get it." Obama was a miserable failure at phone pranks.

Kaptain Krude said...

"Hello, Ms. Huffington, how are you? What, the Germans attacked Pearl Harbor? No, Ms. Huffington, I'm afraid you've been punk'd by those pranksters at Caption This. It was really the Belgians. *snicker* Quiet, you guys, she's falling for it. This is the 'useful' part of her description."

dadoctah said...

"Nice little country you've got here, Mister Chavez. Be a shame if something were to -- happen to it, if you follow my meaning...."

wv: inifying. Layman's term for the surgical procedure properly known as omphaloplasty.

molson said...

Dude. Get your hand out of my pocket and please stop dry humping my leg. I'm trying to order a pizza here.

molson said...

You guys OK with pepperoni? Hey! Catherine the Great. You want to take big step back before I use your spleen for a dial pad?

Matt the Kostume said...

Hugo was flabbergasted to find that the ghey escort service he called was so dang SPEEDY!

Matt the Kostume said...

wv: spernpod

That is all.

Army of Dad said...

You aren't so Hug-o are you?

Army of Dad said...

Tell you what, Hugo old pal. You cut off the oil and I will cut this off, savi?

Army of Dad said...

Sham wow!

Army of Dad said...

Hey there Juan Valdez. Get your lazy ass off the phone and get me my coffee or no green card for you, pendejo.

Jay Guevara said...

Guy on the left (appropriately enough): "Go ahead, Hugo, you know you want to."

Army of Dad said...

We've switched Hugo's usual yes man with a homosexual. Let's see if he notices.

steve o said...

"...and Javier...uhhh...bring me a sword."

steve o said...

No, I don't need a "huggie-poo!"

GregMan said...

ORA: "Know what I mean? Wink wink, nudge nudge? Say no more!"

GregMan said...

"Comrade Chavez, our agent has taken the oath of office as President of the United States of Amerikkka. Now the world socialist revolution can continue!"

dub said...

Where will you be when your Communist kicks in?

flyovercountry said...

Hello, is this MI6? We have captured 003, and he is not the "ladies" man that we expected. Would you please come and get him?

flyovercountry said...

Hello, is this Mayor Bloomberg's office. I have captured Dick Clark, and I will not release him until you promise that I can drop the ball on New Year's Eve.

Matt the K said...

Hallo? Jess. Jess presidente Castro. Jess I got jore 'present especiale'. Si, is right here. Is nice, bot I prefer the seƱoritas.