Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Games people play



1. "Uh, no... I'd like to keep holding this bag in front of my crotch, um, for a while."

2. Billy wondered what her liver would taste like with a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti.

3. The release of Leisure Suit Larry for Nintendo wii pretty much sealed America's fate, Wrath-of-Godwise.

4. Billy worried he would never beat her high score; it was certainly not the last time a hot chick would give him performance anxiety.

5. "A teal tank top with black leather gloves? What the hell is she thinking?" young Andrew wondered.

Best of sonicfrog
Lana Croft just never quite had the zeal for adventure that her more famous sister did.

Best of dub
Timmy felt so clever for thinking of the "hole in the shopping bag" trick. No one would ever think twice about why he was rubbing his new sweater so much.

Best of molson
Timmy set out to prove he sure didn't need no stinking Wii to rub one out in public. All he needed was the proper motivation. Bingo!

Best of Rodney Dill
No matter how much she practiced, Lara couldn't beat Costanza at Frogger.

Best of jeff
Angelina Jolie - the early and confused years....

Best of Matt the Kostume
Tyler disdains the Nintendonites' new rules for womens' vestments.

Best of Snowdog
Timmy thought to himself: "I've already wet the bed, started fires and tortured animals. I think it's time to take this to the next level."

Best of Chrees
Pick lines that don't work #387: "I role play too...I like to pretend I'm Daniel Radcliffe in Equus.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Game Refurbish and Repair... at your Cervix."

Best of Army of Dad
"Hey Lara, check out this nunchuck!"

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Prayer balloon for the mall security cop approaching babe from behind-
"Lawd, forgive me for the strip search I am about to commit. May the judge believe my testimony that the gun on her firm tan thigh looked real. My wife won't buy it, but opportunities like this only come along once in a lifetime. Amen."

Best of mega
Weird....no matter how many buttons I push, all I see is the same black guy on every channel.

Best of Jay Guevara
"Boy that guy's got a funny build. All...lumpy and stuff."

Best of molson
Ohhhh. Don't mind me. I'm just playing with my sack here.

32 comments:

sonicfrog said...

Lana Croft just never quite had the zeal for adventure that her more famous sister did.

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sonicfrog said...

Oh, this IS Laura Croft??? Man, the economy IS worse than I thought!

VerWord: prowls

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Animatronics have come a long way, baby. Unfortunately, the feminazi subroutine in her neural net caused the MisAndry-8 prototype to strangle Billy with the garrote just because he was staring at her.

dub said...

Timmy felt so clever for thinking of the "hole in the shopping bag" trick. No one would ever think twice about why he was rubbing his new sweater so much.

dub said...

I dont want to know what kind of "games" he has going on in or behind that bag.

dub said...

Timmy secretly hoped she would grope his Wii next.

Rodney Dill said...

"...but by Wii vibrate knob has an eleven."

molson said...

Timmy set out to prove he sure didn't need no stinking Wii to rub one out in public. All he needed was the proper motivation. Bingo!

Rodney Dill said...

No matter how much she practiced, Lara couldn't beat Costanza at Frogger.

Achilles said...

A pic with a young boy in it and not a single Barney Frank caption? It really is a new era.

Rodney Dill said...

boy: "Uh... can you try my Wii Jumping Jacks game now?"
girl: "In your dreams..."
boy: "...every night."

(ora)

jeff said...

Angelina Jolie - the early and confused years....

dadoctah said...

Kevin frantically worked the remote control concealed in his shopping bag, but his Lara Croft fembot prototype just stood there staring blankly. Clearly, he thought, longer-life batteries are called for.

wv: scris. I've done that many times, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive.

Matt the Kostume said...

Tyler disdains the Nintendonites' new rules for womens' vestments.

Snowdog said...

Timmy thought to himself: "I've already wet the bed, started fires and tortured animals. I think it's time to take this to the next level."

Chrees said...

Pick lines that don't work #387: "I role play too...I like to pretend I'm Daniel Radcliffe in Equus.

Barco Sin Vela II said...

Timmy brought his sister with him to the inauguration, because of Barney Frank's creepy invitation.

flyovercountry said...

SWAT team Wii wasn't a huge hit at Lincoln Junior High, but the boys thought the uniforms were OK.

flyovercountry said...

Right before Billy drew his sawed off shotgun out of his shopping bag and started shooting students he thought, "If only she would have gone to the winter dance with me".

WV cheri What Billy really wanted.

mega said...

Getting through airport security was a breeze with Obama's new DHS policies.

Jack Reacher said...

Michelle was quite peeved when she learned all the boys secretly called her "The X-Box."

Rodney Dill said...

"Game Refurbish and Repair... at your Cervix."

Army of Dad said...

Little papa spank?

Army of Dad said...

At the next A/V club meeting Tommy told the guys how he raided Lara Croft's womb.

Army of Dad said...

"Hey Lara, check out this nunchuck!"

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Prayer balloon for the mall security cop approaching babe from behind-
"Lawd, forgive me for the strip search I am about to commit. May the judge believe my testimony that the gun on her firm tan thigh looked real. My wife won't buy it, but opportunities like this only come along once in a lifetime. Amen."

mega said...

Weird....no matter how many buttons I push, all I see is the same black guy on every channel.

Rob McGee said...

V the K, I assume you've already seen the Inauguration-crwoed photo of the crazy-preacher sign aimed at "Porno Freaks, Homos, Drunks, and Mormons"? (Basically warning the above-mentioned demographics, and others, that Jesus is coming to get 'em -- ooga-booga!) If not, it's at Age of Hooper.

Elsewhere, you can find a photo of the new gold draperies in the Oval Office -- the Maria von Trapp jokes write themselves.

Jay Guevara said...

Geek thought bubbles:

1) "Boy that guy's got a funny build. All...lumpy and stuff."

2) "I wonder what her high score is in Doom."

molson said...

Ohhhh. Don't mind me. I'm just playing with my sack here.

Mr. Hankey said...

Where's Waldo?