Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Two Grannies Enter, One Granny Leaves!

Metalgarth
photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com - December 1, 2008

1. Oddly enough, Andrew Sullivan has this outfit.

2. And so, Tina Turner enters the deeply disturbing Sunset Boulevard phase of her career.

3. A wardrobe malfunction would instantly turn most of the audience ghey, if most of them weren't ghey already, I mean.

4. ORA: Harry Mudd was once again late with the shipment of the Venus Drug, but the show had to go on.

5. Y'know, at this point, love would pretty much have to have everything to do with it.

Super Best of prince of leaves
See, this is what I hate about the holidays. Grandma gets a little eggnog in her, and next thing you know she's staggering through the porch screens while trying to sing karaoke.

Best of Jack Reacher
Wow, the QVC hostesses are going all out this Christmas.

Best of flyovercountry
Who knew that after 8 years of the Obama administration, Tina Turner would live long enough to actually become Aunty Entity?

Best of Jack Reacher
"This one goes out to the brothers with swastika tattoos. It's called 'The Best Part Of You Ran Down Your Daddy's Leg.'"

Best of flyovercountry
Two men enter, one man leaves.
Posted on a sign outside of Tina's bedroom.

Best of metalgarth
In the afterlife, Mel Gibson found out that only YHWH was Lord and that he had an ironic sense of justice

Best of Seoulman (R)
It was an exciting night for Tonya who won 5th place in the Dolly Parton look-alike contest AND 3rd in the Tina Turner contest.

Best of Matt the Kostume
Tina Turner Beyond Thunderthighs

Best of GregMan
Obligatory CapThis Caption #3,775: "You kids get off my lawn!"

Best of Submariner
When it proved impossible to stop the R-549 from rolling, SkyNet quickly moved on to create the T-800.

Best of prince of leaves
Ah, crap, I thought they weren't going to make a sequel to "Battlefield Earth"?

Best of prince of levaes
While prolonged exposure to the solvents in her wig glue had given Tina the face of a ninety-year-old, dancing around on stage in 350lbs of chain mail four nights a week in Vegas had given her the strength and cardiovascular system of a full-grown grizzly bear.

40 comments:

Jack Reacher said...

ORA: Whatever happened to Baby Jane? Seriously, you don't want to know.

Jack Reacher said...

Wow, the QVC hostesses are going all out this Christmas.

flyovercountry said...

Who knew that after 8 years of the Obama administration, Tina Turner would live long enough to actually become Aunty Entity?

Carpe Phlogiston said...

"And in this corner..."
In the remake of the politically correct ghetto thriller, The Wiz, Dorothy undergoes a sex change operation and wins a 2-year contract with the World Wrestling Federation.

Jack Reacher said...

"This one goes out to the brothers with swastika tattoos. It's called 'The Best Part Of You Ran Down Your Daddy's Leg.'"

flyovercountry said...

Two men enter, one man leaves.

Posted on a sign outside of Tina's bedroom.

flyovercountry said...

I'm starting a pool, who will try and hold on the longest, Tina, or Cher?

metalgarth said...

Semi ORA,

Mary, be not proud!

metalgarth said...

Thursdays in parallel universe 64490D were a little different on the Caption This blog

metalgarth said...

In the afterlife, Mel Gibson found out that only YHWH was Lord and that he had an ironic sense of justice

Gene Simmons said...

Even I have some standards... wait a minute. No I don't. Whatcha doin' after the show tonight Tina?

sonicfrog said...

Man, these new HDTV digital antenna's are going to take a lot of getting used to.

lawhawk said...

We don't need another hero. You should have stayed in Thunderdome!

Seoulman (R) said...

We don't need another weirdo

Seoulman (R) said...

You can brush my hair, undress me anywhere

Oh you already did

Seoulman (R) said...

It was an exciting night for Tonya who won 5th place in the Dolly Parton look-alike contest AND 3rd in the Tina Turner contest.

flyovercountry said...

Gene Simmons said...

Even I have some standards... wait a minute. No I don't. Whatcha doin' after the show tonight Tina?


You will have to be patient, it will take at least 4 hours to get the makeup off, and you think she is scary now...

Matt the Kostume said...

Tina Turner Beyond Thunderthighs

Matt the Kostume said...

ORA: Proof that this Queen is on Acid.

GregMan said...

ORA:

"Mithril! This has-been pop singer is full of surprises!"

GregMan said...

Obligatory CapThis Caption #3,774:

What, Thursday already?

GregMan said...

Obligatory CapThis Caption #3,775:

"You kids get off my lawn!"

GregMan said...

Nothing good would come of the merger of Lifetime and The Geriatric Channel.

molson said...

The reason why liquor was invented.

Unscrupulous said...

Remember that movie "Thunderdome" something or other. Well, this is "Beyond" Thunderdome.

Carpe Phlogiston said...

Ooooh, isn't this the moment just before Capt. Kirk rips off the latex mask and discovers he's about to make whoopie with a Gorn?

Matt the Kostume said...

Aahhh... and this must be *Mrs.* Heatmiser, I presume?

steve o said...

The future of animatronic entertainment is now!

Submariner said...

When it proved impossible to stop the R-549 from rolling, SkyNet quickly moved on to create the T-800.

Submariner said...

Whoa, "American Gladiators" is really phoning it in this season...

Anonymous said...

If Ike saw me dressed liked this he'd whoop my ass.

prince of leaves said...

Ah, crap, I thought they weren't going to make a sequel to "Battlefield Earth"?

prince of levaes said...

While prolonged exposure to the solvents in her wig glue had given Tina the face of a ninety-year-old, dancing around on stage in 350lbs of chain mail four nights a week in Vegas had given her the strength and cardiovascular system of a full-grown grizzly bear.

prince of leaves said...

Nancy Sinatra called, she wants her hair back. And yes, the scalp along with it.

prince of leaves said...

Tina Turner plays Metalunan leader Exeter in the upcoming reimagining of "This Island Earth".

prince of leaves said...

See, this is what I hate about the holidays. Grandma gets a little eggnog in her, and next thing you know she's staggering through the porch screens while trying to sing karaoke.

divine miss m said...

Nancy Sinatra called, she wants her wig back.

sonicfrog said...

Phil Spector hope that the new get-up will draw more sympathy from the jury than his previous fashion fractures.

conservativeteen said...

"Nothing beer goggles can't fix!"*pop, crack*"The lens just fell out!"


WV:purentla agreement is nessesary to see this play

mega said...

By 2020, things hadn't worked out so well. Michelle was doing Vegas, while Obama shopped around his 83rd autobiography, "Dreams I Had Before The Mullahs Took Over".