Monday, December 22, 2008
1. Coal in their stockings was just too good for the CEO's of bailed out banking institutions, but with their billions in taxpayer supplied bonuses, who cared if Santa thought they were naughty?
2. After the Democrat congress passed card-check, the elves workshop was taken over by the UAW. The new contract meant Santa had to pay them full-time wages even if they did nothing but play reindeer games. Soon, the North Pole was bankrupt and Santa was reduced to this.
3. "Whoa, is that George W. Bush's last shred of common sense? How long has that been in there?"
4. "Oh, look, the dignity of the U.S. Senate. Franken must have 'won' the recount."
5. "Wow! Look at all the testicles. This must be GOP campaign headquarters."
Wicked Best of Prince of leaves
What Santa left in the dumpster would be the subject of tragedy-whore Nancy Grace's breathless, sensational, and exploitative conjectures for the next six months.
Best of metalgarth
Sometimes Santa wondered if it was worth the time and effort to leave Oscar the Grouch a lump of coal in his stocking.
Best of Matt the Kostume
Santa delivers presents to Margot Kidder's house.
Best of GregMan
"Oh, look, the U.S. economy!"
Best of GregMan
"Oh, look, the stock price of the New York Times!"
Best of Kaptain Krude
ORA: Paul took off the white disco suit and put on the Santa suit to throw off Henry Rollins.
Best of molson
I know it doesn't look good, but at least this time Santa is wearing pants.
Best of mega
In a rare moment of clarity, Santa suddenly realized that all of the consumerist trash he'd been delivering to kids for two millenia was just that, and tossing it all in the dumpster lifted a huge weight off his shoulders.
Best of Jack Reacher
He was reduced to this, after an FBI wiretap caught Santa ranting "Hey, a spot on the Nice list is worth a lot; I'm not gonna just GIVE it away!"
Best of Rodney Dill
Oh... who ate the raisins outta grandma's puke...
Best of Submariner
Dub finally finally finds the perfect woman - not one ounce of body fat...