Wednesday, December 24, 2008

And it shook when applied harsh discipline, like a bowl full of lube


1. "wHOre! wHOre! wHOre!"

2. "Mommy?Why is Santa Claus spanking that whore with a Parker pen?"

3. Unfortunately for Santa, spanking was an ineffective defense against zombies, and he soon joined the legions of the undead.

4. "Hermie, get your faggoty elf ass over here and help me wrap Governor Spitzer's "stocking stuffer."

5. Since Santa was a long-time crony, Bush granted an immediate pardon on his domestic violence charges.

Best of Double the U
Just want I wanted for Christmas, a Courtney love Doll.

Best of ochagirl
Santa couldn't understand why spanking didn't shorten his naughty list; they just waited by the chimneys dressed in impractical nighties.

Best of GregMan
Man, Guy Ritchie has really let himself go. Madonna still looks OK, though.

Best of mega
Raine screamed out in pain as the jackass in the Santa suit missed her ass and hit her outer thigh for the fifth straight time. There has GOT to be an easier way to make $50.

Best of steve o
Santa's Red-butt Pain-dear

22 comments:

Double the U said...

Just want I wanted for Christmas, a Courtney love Doll.

GregMan said...

Don't spank the love doll too hard, Santa, or all the air will leak out.

ochagirl said...

Santa couldn't understand why spanking didn't shorten his naughty list; they just waited by the chimneys dressed in impractical nighties.

GregMan said...

Man, Guy Ritchie has really let himself go. Madonna still looks OK, though.

GregMan said...

Although the ACLU normally despised Christmas and everything associated with it, they were OK with this picture.

GregMan said...

Santa got pretty testy after the first few houses where nobody left him cookies and milk.

GregMan said...

Merry Christmas all you monors! May Santa leave you the inflatable rubber cowboy you put on your Christmas list! Or at least a Gladiator DVD.

- from The GregMan

Jack Reacher said...

Lauren wasn't satisfied just being told she'd been naughty.

Jack Reacher said...

Oh, yes, remember the 90s, when Clinton would play Santa at the White House?

flyovercountry said...

What mommy kissing Santa can lead to.

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Julie the Jarhead said...

This is the kind of Santa I can really believe in.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

wv: chead -- the past participle of "cheat"

Achilles said...

"That will teach you for flouncing!"

dadoctah said...

Wishing everyone an Abu Ghraib Christmas!

wv: "bonal". No way is this random.

prince of leaves said...

Twelve crops a-smacking,
Eleven whips a-cracking,
Ten floosies flouncing,
Nine breasts a-jouncing,
Eight gimps a-groaning,
Seven skanks a-moaning,
Six Santas smiling,
Five rubber cowboys!
Four gimp hoods,
Three safe words,
Two Saran Wrap rolls,
And a spanking on Santa's knee!

[wv: masta - jeez, this just gets wierder all the time]

Submariner said...

No cookies nor egg nog? Santa's got the munchies from the Marley house, girlie!

Submariner said...

Mrs. Claus always knew just what would make Santa happiest...

Submariner said...

Santa! I thought you put your finger beside your nose to go up the chimney?

steve o said...

Sometimes, when Santa would run out of coal it would take a little time at the bad girls houses.

steve o said...

Bad girls who don't believe in Santa Claus get something special.

Army of Mom said...

Now you know how the designers come up with the designs for blow up dolls.

mega said...

Raine screamed out in pain as the jackass in the Santa suit missed her ass and hit her outer thigh for the fifth straight time. There has GOT to be an easier way to make $50.

steve o said...

Santa's Red-butt Pain-dear