1. "Suit up, Number One. We're off to twentieth century Canada to prevent the assassination of Wayne Gretzky."
2. "Guinan knitted these herself, Number One. And I don't want to hurt her feelings."
3. In Alternative Parallel Universe 97-Theta, Star Fleet Headquarters is not in San Francisco, but in Duluth, Minnesota.
4. "Come on, Captain, we don't even pay the heating bill. Turn up the freakin' thermostat."
5. "Oh, sure, we run around the universe in bright red pajamas... but it's the hats that are silly!"
Super Mach 5 Best of Army of Mom
Who keeps singing that damn song about Jayne?
Best of Rodney Dill
Yah der hey
Best of Double the U
Capitan, the enemy has turned on their gaydar...and I must say you have never looked so muscular or handsome to me before.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
"Captain, the warning on the package specifically says not to fly through an ionizing nebula until the Rogaine thoroughly dries!"
Best of metalgarth
Why can't we be a cool parallel universe where everybody has a sinister looking goatee.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Tell the Rumulans they can have my toque when they pry it from my bald, dead head."
Best of MattKostume
Well, these 'helmets' looked a lot cooler in the Starfleet Catalogue...
Best of dub
Riker and Picard prove their racist tendencies by making Obama stay in the blurry background.
Best of Mr. MoK
"How's it sit?" Picard asked Riker. "Pretty cunning, doncha think?"
Best of Army of Mom
After wearing this hat, Worf thinks it truly is a good day to die.
Best of lawhawk
Number 1, that's the last damned time I let Data near the holodeck and disengage the hash protocols.
Best of prince of leaves
ORA: "The tinfoil has stopped the music for now, Number One, but the question remains: who would want us to hear 'All Along the Watchtower' in our heads, and why?"
Best of Seoulman (R)
Do you think the Peruvian Pan Flute player disguises will work?
Best of mklasing
Because of years of obvious racism aboard the Enterprise, Rev. Jackson gave them 2 options, either pay him $10 million Federation dollars or wear Rainbow Coalition hats on every mission.
Best of attmay
"With all due respect, Captain, just because you're embarrassed by your baldness doesn't make it fair to make the rest of us look like jackasses."
Best of Submariner
Picard thought bubble; "Maybe it WAS five lights...
69 comments:
"Like take off, eh..."
"You hoser."
Yah der hey
Capitan, the enemy has turned on their gaydar...and I must say you have never looked so muscular or handsome to me before.
Deviant Rainbow Coalition Tribbles take over the Enterprise in a politically correct update of a classic comedy.
or
For cripes sake, Number One, when you asked if I wanted something hot from the replicator, I said "make it so," NOT "make it sew!"
"Where we headed Cap'n"
"Up Nort."
"Ah hah! This proves you and Worf were using my Gay Hasidic formula, again. Must admit, though, these payots make me look real pretty."
"Aw, Captain, the warning on the package specifically says not to fly through an ionizing nebula until the Rogaine thoroughly dries!"
Why can't we be a cool parallel universe where everybody has a sinister looking goatee.
The Rastafari vessel missed us with their conversion beam, I'm sure of it.
That's the last time I'll have a second PanG alactic Gargle Blaster.
If Lt. Sulu was made Captain...
The crew of the Enterprise reluctantly honored the customs of their hosts while visiting Planet Gay Canada.
wv:
burpe: The act of belching the alphabet in French
Jonathan Freak & Jean Luc Re-Tard
Starlog Date April 20th, 2534: The Captain orders the crew to don strange headgear after smoking some gnarly B.C. Bud.
The Starship crew discovers this alien telepathic headgear could translate their thoughts into Canadian.
Never in their lives had the crew of the Enterprise prayed more for a personal cloaking device.
Both the Captain and Number 1 were thinking the same thing..."I know Whorf is holding, dude!"
Picard thinks: "I am a Shakespearian actor, dammit! What the f**K!"
"Tell the Rumulans they can have my toque when they pry it from my bald, dead head."
"TSA is gonna make us remomve these for screening, Captain."
Well, these 'helmets' looked a lot cooler in the Starfleet Catalogue...
What happens in Galaxie Zymtar-13, stays in Galaxy Zymtar 13.
Whorf's thought bubble; "I guess this let's the Gamma-quadrant lorcat out of the mylar sack on why Counselor Troi was transferred..."
I said "Earl Grey" d@mmit, not "Moosehead, eh?"
Riker thought bubble; "Oh, Gaia; beer farts!"
Riker and Picard prove their racist tendencies by making Obama stay in the blurry background.
"How's it sit?" Picard asked Riker. "Pretty cunning, doncha think?"
Hey Duuuude! I think that Klingon is checking out your ass. If I wasn't so baked, I'd go kick his ass.
Heh @ Mr. MoK.
Even more ORA:
"What'd y'all order a dead guy for?"
Captain's Thawtbubble
Stardate 397.821/49~subpara92d
Hmmm... it seems we've been beamed directly to the bridge from the holodeck Lilith Fair. Data will pay dearly for this little April Fool's prank.
WordVerify: joymne - Joy n' Me plus way moo tany martoonies.
Who keeps singing that damn song about Jayne?
Damn costume director getting Firefly and ST:TNG mixed up. Again.
A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything.
After wearing this hat, Worf thinks it truly is a good day to die.
Star Trek: The Gay Generation
"Guinan knitted these herself, Number One. And I don't want to hurt her feelings."
I'm not so sure but that this isn't the actual dialog! They were AFRAID of that beeatch! And she did like to jerk these guys around.
New TNG intro voiceover performed by Big Gay Al: oooh, look at Riker, Picard and Worf boldly going where no woman has gone before ... in my pants!
The writers' strike led to the discovery of lots of new talent. Unfortunately, not on this set.
Lost outtake from "Dumb and Dumber in Space"
Voiceover: "...in bed."
The entire bridge ponders the meaning of the received transmission; "Mars needs women."
Oddly enough. I have this outfit. But, mine has a plunging neckline and miniskirt and is called a Sexy Trekkie.
SOTG; "I dunno, Subby; what do YOU think AoM intended when she gave us these outfits?"
Number 1, that's the last damned time I let Data near the holodeck and disengage the hash protocols.
Riker Thought Bubble:
And I turned down the part in Law and Order, damn it.
I know number one, they clash with our uniforms, but Star Fleet Command said that wearing these was the only way to defeat the Borg.
Pikard Thought Bubble:
Man, I wish that writer strike was over.
WV plesin, just like Thursdays.
"The Borg aren't falling for it, Captain."
"Indeed, Will. Time for Plan B: deploy the inflatable rubber cowboys!"
"If there's one thing that disturbs me more than the Borg, Number One, it's the fallout from not wearing her latest hand-knit Christmas gifts on a visit to my Nanna. She can be quite...imposing."
ORA: "The tinfoil has stopped the music for now, Number One, but the question remains: who would want us to hear 'All Along the Watchtower' in our heads, and why?"
Do you think the Peruvian Pan Flute player disguises will work?
Jean Took Picard grew increasingly frustrated on his five year journey in search of his dignity.
When Heidi impersonating transies go to Trekie conventions, it is never pretty
Beam us to some place fabulous.
I agree, make it soooo fab
due to financial considerations because of the failing economy, shields and helmets were being outsourced to Peru
The Great White Quark
Damn, when did Travelocity start to sponsor the show.
Steady, Number One... with these Elberon4 magikal thinking caps, I'm confident we'll beat the Kobayashi Maru test without cheating. That egotistical ass Kirk is going down!
Word Verify: zakerma - german for a "Palin follower" (come on, the media's moved on, but it's not that arcane of a reference, yet)
Because of years of obvious racism aboard the Enterprise, Rev. Jackson gave them 2 options, either pay him $10 million Federation dollars or wear Rainbow Coalition hats on every mission.
Riker, the holodeck anti-virus program's had bugs since the Federation nationalized Microsoft, but this is outrageous. Get La Forge to purge and reformat the memory core immediately... and if you dare glance at Mr. Worf with your insipid mona lisa smile, he'll break you in half.
Set touques on stun.
Sometimes it annoyed the captain that the pranksters in the transporter room belonged to the UAW and couldn't ever be fired.
But just wait until their 450 year guarantee provision expired!
The away team prepares for a trip to Calgary. Oddly enough, the fashions haven't changed all that much.
Because the uniforms aren't gay enough.
In order to attract good helmsmen, Starfleet makes some uniform adjustments.
"With all due respect, Captain, just because you're embarrassed by your baldness doesn't make it fair to make the rest of us look like jackasses."
Picard thought bubble; "Something is just not quite right with this picture but I can't.quite.put.my.finger.on.what.it.is..."
Picard thought bubble; "Maybe it WAS five lights...
"Wharf, you're too uptight", you said. "Wharf, why don't you get a hobby", you said. Jerk.
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