1. "I rescued him from a snowy field where he was being stalked by a naked white woman."
2. When visiting the home of Michael Vick, it's common courtesy to bring an appetizer.
3. "Huh Huh, Check it out. Abe Lincoln is totally staring at my a$$."
4. "Soon, Mr Lincoln, I shall join you among the halls of legends - but I shall stand atop a throne of human skulls and my name will be written in blood through all of history! Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
5. Meanwhile, the dog just thinks, "Why would you be standing on a throne, numbnuts?"
Best of thedoyle
There is a completely useless fluffy animal in this picture and he's holding a dog.
Best of duke of red
One of these presidents has a legacy of bloody revolution, racial hatred, and deeply dividing the country.
The other was shot by John Wilkes Booth.
Best of metalgarth
Obama just luvs them white bitches...
Best of metalgarth
Four score and seven years ago, there was no way a president of the United States would be seen dead with such a ghey dog.
Best of dub
Obama: "For my familys dog, I pick Cotton".
Lincoln: *giggle*
Best of jj
For practice, I'm gonna screw this pooch. Then the country...
Best of aj
Obama picks a bitch to be Secretary of State...just not the one we were all thinking of.
Best of dadoctah
I shall call him...Mini...Negative...er, Fur-covered...Me.
Best of Seoulman (R)
The eyes give the robot away. How could a real person hold a cute doggie, stand next to a statue of an American hero and still look that smug.
Best of molson
Sure it will bite your ankles, chew up your shoes, piss all over everything, and sh!t on your lawn. The dog's nice though.
Best of Jack Reacher
After the SWAT team burst in, Obama was heard to mutter "Bitch set me up."
Best of GregMan
Lincoln desparately wanted to flounce off but he was stuck to his marble chair.
Best of MattKostume
FACT: All 3 had white mothers.
59 comments:
I'm channeling Abe Lincoln. He's spinning in his grave and saying, "I never meant for THIS s**t to happen."
Thanks to the president, there is a completely useless fluffy animal in this picture. Oh and Obama picked a dog.
One of these presidents has a legacy of bloody revolution, racial hatred, and deeply dividing the country.
The other was shot by John Wilkes Booth.
3 hours after this photo was taken, a massive split appeared in the head of Lincoln's statue.
Obama thought bubble...I shall now release this dog to piss on the statue of Lincoln and everything he stood for about equailty and then I am gonna go sign the Fairness Doctrine Bill.
"Republicans are racists. I mean, they freed the slaves, sent National Guard troops to Arkansas to protect the first blacks entering formerly all-white colleges, pushed forth the civil rights changes of the 60s, and the Democrats have a Klansman in their midst, but uh........
The Republicans are just racists."
Obama just luvs them white bitches...
Fluffy thought to herself for a second... "why couldn't I have a normal owner who dresses up like Slash and puts a Superman cape on me instead"
Four score and seven years ago, there was no way a president of the United States would be seen dead with such a ghey dog.
Obama: "For my familys dog, I pick Cotton".
Lincoln: *giggle*
For practice, I'm gonna screw this pooch. Then the country...
Define irony...
A black god chooses a white dog.
"I call him Change. He leaves little piles of Hope on the White House lawn."
wv; marin. Oh, THAT'S where the votes came from!
"It's such a cute puppy, America, and I sure hope nothing bad happens to him. But really, it's up to you."
Obama picks a bitch to be Secretary of State...just not the one we were all thinking of.
I would like to introduce you to Mr. Puddles, he has 2 years experience as a seeing eye dog. That's 14 years experience in dog years. I didn't know of this math function before, but will immediately be applying it to replace our current numeric scale.
"Uh, uh, uh, this is the only pooch I'm not gonna screw."
Is it me, or does that dog look kind of embarrassed?
wv: nonse (!)
"Does this dog make my ass look black?"
Lincoln thought bubble: "You sure that dog's not too macho for ya?"
I saw that ventriloquist act on The Ed Sullivan Show! Flip Wilson impersonateed Howdy Doody while shoving his hand up a dog's butt. Hilarious!
-or-
Remake of The Wiz
Honest Abe - Oz
Obamalama - Dorothy
Fluffy - Toto
Biden - Scarecrow
The part of the yellow brick road will be played by Pennsylavania Ave., Barney Frank called dibs on a munchkin kid (double entendre, that) and Hilary's up for a cameo as wicked bitch of the North.
I have purchased this accessory canine to appease the great unwashed. I hope it likes arugula.
"Uh, Barack, yeah. Look, the dog adds a little bit of gravitas to you, but at this rate you're gonna need a whole kennel's worth.
Question: Is it true that Barney Frank wants his face put on the new $2 bill?
I shall call him...Mini...Negative...er, Fur-covered...Me.
Worst prom picture EVER!!
Rolf's parents took a trip to the Lincoln Memorial way back when.
Question: Is it true that Barney Frank wants his face put on the new $2 bill?
No, actually it is the brand new $3 bill.
Itherwise, Abe has no choice and a$$ is all there is.
"This is not the dog I know."
"A typical white dog."
"Look what I found under the bus, with Ayers, Rezko, and Wright."
having white fur after Labor Day is so tacky and racist.
This is our gift to the Korean president, he has decided to call him "lunch."
btw - in Korea we don't eat that type of dog, we only eat 1 breed specially raised for food. But to be honest, I can't help but look at this dog and think "Yum snack."
The glorious past, the dubious future.
The eyes give the robot away. How could a real person hold a cute doggie, stand next to a statue of an American hero and still look that smug.
Keep your eyes on me, they are getting sleepy. ignore the man in the background, he's not important. Concentrate on the dog, the dog...
We call her Hillary, she's white, small, tears paper to shreds, thinks she runs the house, and makes a mess of everything.
Sure it will bite your ankles, chew up your shoes, piss all over everything, and sh!t on your lawn. The dog's nice though.
Obama bitterly clings to a white female.
wv: lowar Where our expectations go every day.
After the SWAT team burst in, Obama was heard to mutter "Bitch set me up."
wv: bectrum. "Bectrum? Damn near killed 'em!"
Everything was fine until Fluffy saw Michelle for the first time, mistook her freaky head for a deep-sea anglerfish, and peed on Barack's suit while whimpering in helpless terror.
I LOVE this site... ! I can't really say why, but I do!
Lincoln desparately wanted to flounce off but he was stuck to his marble chair.
Doesn't Obamalama know that dogs are unclean? What the hell kind of madrassa did he go to in Indonesia, anyway?
I'm supposed to guess which one has the highest I.Q.??? Man, this is hard....
This Is Not The Puppy I Knew. But the kids like him, so we're not going to throw him under the bus just yet.
WV: folundr: v. As in, I tripped and folundr the Prophet's bus.
I think the Word Verifier has become self-aware.
Iranian President Ahmadinnerjacket brought a list of demands, a hostile attitude, some Iranian military leaders, and a copy of Mein Kampf to the negotiations. President Obamallama brought a puppy.
Lincoln thought bubble: Man, I hope it was the dog who just got elected President. Otherwise, man are we screwed.
Obamallama thought bubble: I wonder how hard it will be to put MY head on that statue, instead of that typical white person Lincoln?
Only now, after the election, is it known that the Obamessiah made a special election appeal to Enumclaw voters.
Emancipation Proclamation: UR DOING IT WRONG.
What's that Abe?.. Abe suggests that Hillary would be a perfect name for a white bitch.
FACT: All 3 had white mothers.
"Axelrod, don't waste your time. There's barely enough marble there to memorialize this puppy. Go to Mt Rushmore, tear it all down, and build a proper-size moment to my One-ness."
To be in the presence of true greatness.......overwhelmed with awe, Lincoln needed to sit down.
Michelle really ought to be more specific when she sends "the One" to the store to pick up dinner...
Proving his critics wrong about his "lack of experience," Barak brings a conciliatory gift to the Palin's for "their next Alaskan sled race."
The Anointed One and FiFi pose for their portrait on the new three dollar bill.
Obama names his little white slave-dog Honky. Payback's a bitch.
"...and your little dog, too!"
Look Fluffy, this is the Lincoln Memorial. It was built to honor one of the greatest presidents in the history of America. Of course, it will have to be torn down to build mine next year.
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