1. "Check it out. One of these little f**kers was wearing a bow tie."
2. FEATHER BOA. UR DOING IT WRONG.
3. In this scene from The Sarah Palin Story, A Lifetime Original Movie, Todd Palin (played by Chad Allen), prepares to offer young Sarah a bouquet of freshly killed seabirds.
4. "Here put this on, it's cold outside," Chad's mom was both over-protective and completely off-her-nut.
5. "Rumors that seabird pheromones are the secret ingredient in our product are absolutely without basis in fact," The CEO of Tag Body Spray, Inc. insisted earlier today.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Like I always say," Chad told friends, "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's fantastic with orange sauce and merlot."
Best of Double the U
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Best of mega
Many wished for the old days when Prince William would just dress up like a Nazi and go have a couple of beers, like everyone else.
Best of Whacko
"Red rope or white rope? Which to cut. Oh hell, I'll just cut them both."
Last episode of McGuyver
Best of Submariner
"Humperdink, Humperdink, Humperdink! Inconceivable that he should be able to climb that rope!"
Best of prince of leaves
While practicing his climbing skills on a remote cliff in Scotland, Chad is attacked by the lesser-known Killer Penguins of Caerbannog.
Best of Seoulman (R)
America's puffins are coming home to roost
Best of Seoulman (R)
The first draft of "The rime of the ancient mariner" was definitely written in a drug-crazed state
Best of Kaptain Krude
The young actor picked to play the Penguin had some doubts. "Are you sure this is how Heath Ledger would have gone about this?"
Best of Army of Dad
Puffin constrictors defend their nests with unusual zeal.
Best of molson
The vampiric puffins kind of had the right idea, but without big pointy teeth, they just couldn't get the job done.
Best of dub
FLOCK OF SEAGULLS...TOUR IS CANCELLED.
Best of MattKostume
Day 275 in Iceland: Survivorman finally loses it.
Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Puffin-noodling is the national sport of Fiordlandia. Townsfolk dip ne'er-do-wells in sardine oil, toss 'em over the cliff and see how many puffins bite. Puffin hickies reportedly last for nearly a year.
57 comments:
"Like I always say," Chad told friends, "If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's fantastic with orange sauce and merlot."
Chad totally misunderstood when he heard that the Obama administration would bring "featherbedding" to new heights.
Binkley left Cutter John stranded on the rocks, and took off with the hot chicks.
ORA: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Many wished for the old days when Prince William would just dress up like a Nazi and go have a couple of beers, like everyone else.
"Red rope or white rope? Which to cut. Oh hell, I'll just cut them both."
Last episode of McGuyver
"Escape by the Birdman of Alcatraz" was more historically accurate than anything by Oliver Stone.
D-Day stories you never heard, next on the History Channel.
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! Okay, that'll do, too."
"Humperdink, Humperdink, Humperdink! Inconceivable that he should be able to climb that rope!"
Look Mr. Miyagi - the next time, YOU'RE haulin' your little "wax on, wax off" @ss down the rope to the pigmy conifer...
"Oh sure, laugh at me all you want, but it beats the hell out of eating our other Icelandic delicacies like putrefied Greenland shark or roasted horse-dick."
While practicing his climbing skills on a remote cliff in Scotland, Chad is attacked by the lesser-known Killer Penguins of Caerbannog.
The term "tarred and feathered" comes from an old Knights Templar custom called Byard Feathered - demonstrated here using rotting bird corpses and Clive Sprot, a Medieval Revivalists member who was caught shtupping a WW1 Reenactments babe.
WordVerify: conliks - well that's just sick
Young Harry's hazing was never publicized by the British press; but when Greenpeace found out about it, they were royally p*ssed.
Darwin Award
When PETA terrorists ran out of labs and mink farms to wreck, the idiots turn on "cruel mother nature" directly - "freeing" puffins from cramped cliffside nests. Released into open pastures miles from the ocean... they starved to death.
"Tastes Like Chicken!"
-or-
The Colonel's top secret ingredient what makes KFC so finger-licking good.
WordVerify: gradefi - what some girls do after school with teachers to get that passing grade
Faroe Islands militiaman in camouflage on assault manuevers. "One of the few, one of the proud, one of the totally humiliated."
Sidebar: Faroenians fingerpoint at the Japs' and Norwegians' whale slaughters and assert that two wrongs do make them right.
What's black and white and looks like a jackass?
A Zebra?
Nope guess again
America's puffins are coming home to roost
the first draft of "The rime of the ancient mariner" was definitely written in a drug-crazed state
Tarzansson, Lord of the Fjords was a box office flop
If it looks like a puffin, walks like a puffin and acts like a puffin, it probably has some explaining to do
I just saw this preview of "Star Wars: A New, New, New Hope!". Dammit George Lucas, what have you done?
♫ Who's the man in the suit?
Who is the cat with the beak?
Do you really want to feel him?
Power of attorney
Habeas Corpus
Marvey attorney
Harvey Birdman
Attorney at Law ♫
Green rope? Red rope????? Man, the Matrix has gone all meshugena. Has James Hansen from GISSTEMP been tweaking the code again???
(perhaps only a few will get that reference)
The Batman franchise knew a good thing when it saw it. The young actor picked to play the Penguin had some doubts. "Are you sure this is how Heath Ledger would have gone about this?"
What, too soon?
The new Green Peace recruit was chosen for the interview because he was young, athletic and handsome. Unfoprtunately, it was only discovered that he was also dyslexic when the 60 Minutes crew arrived to find him "stuffin puffs..."
So, uhhhhhh, Mom; do you have THIS outfit?
SOTG arrives at "Miss Future Restraining Order's" home with a gift for her dad which SOTG hopes will allow her to be this year's prom date...
And I ran, ran so far away...
The frontman from Flock of Seagulls grabs the wrong bids.
Well at least he isn't wearing fake boobies.
(yes that is a bad pun, couldn't help it.)
Puffin constrictors defend their nests with unusual zeal.
I CAN HAZ A HAND?
ROTFLMAO..literally. Good stuff great blog.
The vampiric puffins kind of had the right idea, but without big pointy teeth, they just couldn't get the job done.
Peter thought to himself. This ain't so bad. It was either this or towel boy at the gay bathhouse. He didn't even mind his new nickname... Peter Puffin.
Puffin wranglers risk it all for greasy bird meat.
ROK CLIMBING... UR DOING IT GHEY
Upon arriving in the *real* Narnia, Jack discovered the hard way that the whole alt.reality thing only works when there are stairs.
GM's bluff about selling off the elevators unless they got the $25 billion ... turned out not to be a bluff. Employees did the best they could under the circumstances.
Beware the cannibal natives of Honky Island.
FLOCK OF SEAGULLS...TOUR IS CANCELLED.
The *real* way the Rangers surprised the Germans at Point du Hoc.
Young Liberace tries his hand at rock climbing.
Having lost his osprey helmet, Peter loses the element of surprise.
Day 275 in Iceland: Survivorman finally loses it.
Evidently, one of the Wrong Brothers.
A young Elton John goes to fetch his tiara.
To Olaf, the "Bird Necklace of Shame" was not a rebuke, but a badge of honor.
Puffin-noodling is the national sport of Fiordlandia. Townsfolk dip ne'er-do-wells in sardine oil, toss 'em over the cliff and see how many puffins bite. Puffin hickies reportedly last for nearly a year.
Having drawn the short straw, Olaf is chosen to swab the whale's ass in his village's time-honored way.
Powered with the strength of 40 puffins, young Sven climbed the mighty peak and saved the day, however found he could only eat sardines till his dying day
Ow!! OWWW!!!! Stupid birdseed necklace. OW!
My wife says she has a fantasy involving a lot of peckers. This should do the trick.
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