1. "I'll just leave this 'nose nugget' on the monitor."
2. Virtualfingerpull-dot-com attracts a global audience.
3. "No, see, under the bikini strap... the first faint signs of a belly roll." The outsourcing of Thursday babe selection was not without teething pains.
4. "Look at this infidel using his faith and deeds to hide what a sick intercourse he truly is."
5. ORA: Point of Odor is once again appalled by a comment on Discarded Lies.
Best of flyovercountry
Ordering her Burkas from Fadwa's Secret on line was so much more fun than being stoned in the shopping mall.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Even lesbian burkha chicks enjoy a good game of spot-the-cameltoe.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
I'm sorry, Mrs. Death, it doesn't work that way... You actually have to touch the person.
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Is easy to write fatwah... Little paperclip tell me what say!"
Best of Son Of The Godfather
ORA:"The salmon mousse!"
Best of Jack Reacher
"Robert Spencer, I am crushing your head! Crush, crush!"
Best of Jack Reacher
"Is it repressive in here, or is it just me?"
Best of Jack Reacher
One of TSA's new unionized security supervisors selects Mildred Johnson, 84, of Moorehead, Minnesota, for additional screening.
Best of Jack Reacher
"Quiet! Geraldo is drawing a map in the sand. Somebody take this down."
Best of Chrees
I like this one: Widowed male (last wife was stoned), 34, lives at home with mother. Looking for woman with sense of humor, can cook, and knows how to mold C4. Experience with blasting caps a plus.
Best of Seoulman (R)
The ghost of Jihad Future was an unexpected addition to CBS's "A Multi-Cultural Holiday Carol"
94 comments:
Do those man hands belong to a crossdresser, or a contestant for Iran's Biggest Loser reality show?
-OR-
Goat Bladder Diet - FAIL
The average size of a sheik's harem hasn't grown, but it has expanded a few thousand kilos.
Her last words before being stoned to death: "You need to see this. It's my favorite video on IranTube. It's called Everybody Hates Ahmadinijad"
Q: How can you tell that the magic lamp you hold has an evil djinn inside?
A: If your wish for a hot Thursday babe is granted with that hippo.
By Allah! Look at that Thursday Bobe-whore! Stone this computer!
Babe-whore. It must have been the raw sexuality of this picture that threw off my typing.
Fatima discovers gay p0rn, and Sharia was never again the same for her.
Ordering her Burkas from Fadwa's Secret on line was so much more fun than risking being stoned in the shopping mall.
Oh look, I'm so excited. When I Googled myself, I found my name on the list of adulterers. Isn't that neat...wait a minute, maybe that isn't such a good thing...
The internet is amazing, here is that recipe for camel testicles that I have been looking for. Boy, that Martha Stewart knows everything.
"I just love UluhuluhluhluhTube."
"LOL... That SOTG has all the best caps!"
Is there really a market for "plus-sized" ninjas?
VW: poonsing
Even lesbian burkha chicks enjoy a good game of spot-the-cameltoe.
"Here!... Here is where I can order new burkha!... Please, what is "Rent-A-Tent"?"
"Mayor McCheese make Fatima hungry!"
Ilya proudly shows her name displayed in the listing of the cabinet of the president elect.
A burkha lady and a Code Pinko in the background... Add in the freaky nun-thing from three pictures ago, and you have Obama's San Francisco headquarters.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Death, it doesn't work that way... You actually have to touch the person.
"Tell no one! I must help this Nigerian lawyer smuggle funds through my bank account."
"I do ALL my shopping online at K-Martyr."
"The Dukes are trying to corner the market!"
"No, this not spreadsheet. Spreadsheet awful act Fatima must do for husband every second Tuesday of month."
Welcome to Cap This! Thursday - Iran Edition.
"Is easy to write fatwah... Little paperclip tell me what say!"
"What mean 'Army of Mom has this outfit'?"
OK Metalgarth, tell me this is you, and I'll stop.
The most popular networking site...Burkhabook
"E-Harmony find match!... Who 'Bill Maher'?"
"HA! They thought it was the Mormons, blacks, and Mexicans who defeated Prop 8!"
"...and here, Billy say 'Not Me!'... Ha! Family Circus crack me up!"
Welcome to the editor's desk at the New York Times.
ATDHE:
"Ilya want new burkha, but when Google 'big black bag', it take me to Oprah site."
"No need to screech, Angmar. Look, the info is all here on Dex: 'Bilbo Baggins, Bag End, Westfarthing, The Shire'..." Finding the One Ring was a lot easier for GenY nazgul.
"Preach on, brother Moulitsas!"
The new Iran:
Primitive enough to wrap their women in potato sacks, yet advanced enough to have a starfleet data-panel on the wall.
ORA:
"The salmon mousse!"
Mrs.Darth Vader fights boredom by browsing the deathstar's MySpace pages.
"See, I sneeze and nothing gets on the screen!"
"Me? I belong to harem of this one... The one they call 'Subby'."
"Oh snap! I hope one of my 72 virgins is this Brad Pitt fellow!"
"Hurry! Give me credit card! QVC says only eleven minutes left to order!"
"Fatima, what is Natural Male Enhancement? There sure is a lot of it for sale."
I.M. TO FATIMA: WUT IS BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER?
FATIMA RESPONDS: I DUNNO... WUT?
I.M. TO FATIMA: YOU'LL FIND OUT AFTER FOLLOWING YOUR MARTYR INSTRUCTIONS. ROFLMAO!
"Robert Spencer, I am crushing your head! Crush, crush!"
"Who is Fannie Mae, and why is she only 79 cents? She sounds like a whore!"
"It happened again! Every time I move this white thingie on the desk, that arrow on the screen slides around!"
Never send that "maze trick" where the scary face pops up at the end to Muslim women unless you enjoy the smell of fecalized dates and humus stinking up the office.
"Microsoft Vista Support, may I help you?"
Twice a year all their customers arrive to walk counter-clockwise around the network operations center.
"Is it repressive in here, or is it just me?"
"Whoa, check out this pop-up ad for Abercrombie & Fitch... Even we wouldn't put up with that sh*t."
Roseanne Barrkha
"See? Right here! Bush's National Guard commander wrote this memo about him not showing up for drills. Dan Rather wouldn't lie."
And the phone-banking to get Rosie O'Donnell back on TV with her own show is successful!
"My aunt send me joke! It say, a shaheed walks into a bar, and blows up. Bwahahahahahahahaha! Oh, my side hurts..."
Let us not belittle them, for the HuffPo staff are hard-working folk.
One of TSA's new unionized security supervisors selects Mildred Johnson, 84, of Moorehead, Minnesota, for additional screening.
"Why is this Dexter character checking out my rap sheet?"
Amal's visit to the CNBC web site went well, until she noticed the futures trades in pork bellies.
Welcome to the Obama donations website!
Please enter a sequence of 16 numbers: ________________
Thank You! Your donation has been accepted and charged to a credit card!
"Found another one! Gosh, being a Franken vote counter is easy."
"I never noticed this; The URL for Hamas is one number off from the one for Hezbollah. Weird." And Fatima was never heard from again.
"It's true--chicken does whatever I tell it to do!"
"Quiet! Geraldo is drawing a map in the sand. Somebody take this down."
"Why does white dog talk? Why does baby have head shaped like football? What means Giggity?"
"God Damn American Tech Support!"
"See! Its right here! According to imdb, 'Muslim High School Goats in Trouble' won the Ahkbar for Best Cautionary Tale that year. Pay up, bitch."
"Now watch, this is where someone tells Army of Mom she likes her outfits."
I used to have this outfit years ago, but I used it to cover a 1987 Mazda RX-7 in the driveway.
"Working at ACORN can be difficult at times. For instance, I actually have to find out if this "Mickey Mouse" is an actual person. I was able to find him with PeopleSearch, but not so with many others."
Fatima is the master of Sitar Hero.
"Who is this infidel they write of, "Andrew Sullivan"? Laugh with me, Fatima, for he shall surely burn in hell!"
CBS Poll:
Vote Obama.
Clear cookies.
Repeat.
Fatima was given 30 lashes for touching the naked burkha-less face of her monitor.
wv: undroboa: a trained snake you put in your pants to impress
Well, she sure ain't the slim reaper.
An unfortunate pr0n pop-up, and Fatima learns what she's supposed to be hiding beneath the robe... ('cept for dub).
After the terrible shoplifting incident, Fatima points to the new left hand she ordered from Amazon.
Fatima lost her left hand after is was discovered her keyboard was last used by a non-relative male. Lucky for her, she always kept her right hand on the mouse.
wv: sofingos. Don't have a definition, just like how it sounds!
Oh the wonders of the internet! Fatima can now use Mapquest to find the nearest female circumcisionist.
Political Correctness... Mission Accomplished
Fatimah giggles hysterically and points a chunky finger at the news that Jewish community leaders received an invite to the White House Hanukkah party... in a card displaying Christmas lights and a Christmas tree.
Lame Duck, the other white meat.
Happy TofurkeyFestivus!
"Twenty five dollars to check a bag? WTF? Good thing I strap my luggage around my waist."
"Oh, look! It says if I order Hercules Hook now, I get a second order free! I just need to pay...what's this say...shipping. Huh."
"Here is the site with the football. Now I activate the cyber-jihad device, and wait..."
"A Jew! A Jew! He made a joke in Yiddish! Kill him!"
I like this one:
Widowed male (last wife was stoned), 34, lives at home with mother. Looking for woman with sense of humor, can cook, and knows how to mold C4. Experience with blasting caps a plus.
Michael Jackson goes native
In her amazing disguise, no one in airport security guessed she was a Moslem
The ghost of Jihad Future was an unexpected addition to CBS's "A Multi-Cultural Holiday Carol"
I'd like to order the sheep babe #607 and have it sent to my husband, he gets so lonely when I travel.
Feeling dirty after visiting Las Vegas, Fatima ordered the self-stoner from the Sky Life website.
Israel? what is this Israel place> Must be some Western trick. Everyone knows that was pushed into the sea years ago. Al Jezera said so.
Credit Suisse TV Commercial:
"Her husband will never find out about her secret christmas savings account, because {insert funny sounding name here} knows... privacy is next to godliness! Sim Sala Bim!"
"Have you no decency, sir? Have you decency, V the Koward?" The deathly quiet that descended on the little Internet cafe spoke eloquently as to what her fellow patrons thought of Ms. Huffington.
"See these Obama donations under the names Chuck U. Farley, I.P. Freeley, and Hugh Jass? All me! With a prepaid credit card! What a country!"
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