1. The newly elected mayor of Green Bay Wisconsin holds his first press conference.
2. "Another question about meat, buns, and special sauce? My marriage to George Takei is a beautiful thing, but you guys treat it as some kind of joke."
3. Obama's economic adviser explains why bailouts are now 'Supersized.'
4. A man almost big enough to fill one of Rosie O'Donnell's orifices.
5. An orientation leader welcomes a group of former Lehman Brothers brokers to their new jobs.
Best of Double the U
I have more faith in this candidate than all the other combined.
Best of metalgarth
In parallel universe #4598 everyone's favorite novelty website is "I CAN HAZ KITTEH?"
Best of Tim
Quake and tremble!! for Gozer comes today!!!!
Best of Chrees
The "chocolate city" finds a more competent mayor.
Best of Submariner
Nervously "heh, heh... uh, nobody's seen Michael Moore, have they?"
Best of Jack Reacher
The Minnesota Secretary of State explains how 98% of "newly found" votes seem to be recorded for Al Franken.
Best of Submariner
Demonstrating proper community organizing; "Bottom bun, then patty, then cheese, then..."
Best of Whacko
"All right, ladies, spread your buns 'cause here comes the hot meat!"
Best of Rodney Dill
"Keep those freakin' kittehs away from me!"
Best of MattKostume
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real f*ckin' funny... "Where's the beef?"...like I haven't heard that one before...DESTROY him!!!
Best of MattKostume
Ray Nagin's last words: "And if I am truly the sleazy, corrupt, racist opportunist, that THEY say I am, may God almighty turn me into cheezburger!"
Best of attmay
"To answer your question: No, just because we have yet to capture the Hamburglar does not make my administration soft on crime. We will find him and bring him to justice for the horrific hamburglaries he has committed, not to mention the unspeakable murder of Uncle O'Grimacy."
Best of molson
I would like to introduce the Bailout Burger which is just a fancy name for a 700 billion dollar shit sandwich.
Best of Seoulman (R)
In a dramatic display of emotion, Mayor McCheese announced he was converting to Judaism and as he could no longer mix milk and meat was going to undergo a chesectomy.
Best of Rodney Dill
Mayor McCheese: "....and now I'd like to announce the new McDonald's political action food.... Community Organizer McSleaze.
40 comments:
I have more faith in this candidate than all the other combined.
And that is why we must topple the so called "Burger King" through armed revolution and install a government of the burgers, for the burgers, by the burgers
In parallel universe #4598 everyone's favorite novelty website is "I CAN HAZ KITTEH?"
Quake and tremble!! for Gozer comes today!!!!
I did NOT have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!!
President Clinton
after 2025 McDonalds ran all of North america
V the K said...
A man almost big enough to fill one of Rosie O'Donnell's orifices.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - so much for an appetite.
The "chocolate city" finds a more competent mayor.
Nervously "heh, heh... uh, nobody's seen Michael Moore, have they?"
The Minnesota Secretary of State explains how 98% of "newly found" votes seem to be recorded for Al Franken.
"Hope and change? That and three bucks will get you a cheeseburger."
Demonstrating proper community organizing; "Bottom bun, then patty, then cheese, then..."
How to Make a Cheeseburger Smile:
This is the set from "Police Academy 1."
"...and I'd like to thank president-elect Osamabama for asking me to be his new Secretary of Defense..."
Ask not what your burger can do for you, because, just like our newly elected president, it's not much.
My fellow Americans, can we be fried?
"YES WE CAN!"
Can we be broiled?
"YES WE CAN!"
Can we be grilled?
"YES WE CAN!"
Can we be conned by the biggest false advertising scheme in the history of the world?
"YES WE WERE!"
Last time I saw buns that big, and that much cheese, was 2 Thursdays ago!
Shelly, the young Sheraton intern, was hiding under the lecturn eagerly working on getting some of the special sauce.
In a stunning announcement today, the newly named Secretary of the Treasury called on congress to pass the emergency bail-out bill for OPEC due to massive price reductions for gasoline.
"All right, ladies, spread your buns 'cause here comes the hot meat!"
Pundit at the Shrub's final press conference
"Mr. Bush, as a lame duck with the lowest popularity of anyone in the history of the world, do you have any salient parting comments??"
.
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. silence
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. gibberish
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. stupid grin
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. nukulur
WordVerify- flytam - what tammy might say if she was a hot Thursday stewardess
"Keep those freakin' kittehs away from me!"
Yes I would like fries widdat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Real f*ckin' funny... "Where's the beef?"...like I haven't heard that one before...DESTROY him!!!
As your NEW mayor, we gonna make this place a burger city, baby!
After his latest manic tirade, the townsfolk thought the new mayor was a few fries short of a happy meal.
First, I'd like to thank the Offal & BSE Council for sponsoring this, the 23rd Pro-Obesity & Gluttony Expo. I hope everyone washed their hands after picking up a gift bag of e.coli in the lobby. wink wink
WordVerify: enalmar - dat hard !#(%$ yellow stuff you gets whitened at da ghetto dental office, see what I'm saying?
Thought I'd start off tonight's How to Pick Up Mad Cows seminar with my impression of our good friend Gavin Newsom going down on a... "microphone". nom nom nom
Happy TofurkeyFestivus to All and to All a Goodnight!
Some of the cheeziest things come out of our mayor's mouth.
Ray Nagin's last words: "And if I am truly the sleazy, corrupt, racist opportunist, that THEY say I am, may God almighty turn me into cheezburger!"
wv: pelites = pilates for toddlers
"To answer your question: No, just because we have yet to capture the Hamburglar does not make my administration soft on crime. We will find him and bring him to justice for the horrific hamburglaries he has committed, not to mention the unspeakable murder of Uncle O'Grimacy."
I would like to introduce the Bailout Burger which is just a fancy name for a 700 billion dollar shit sandwich.
Thank you for giving up your Thanksgiving to listen to a man dressed as a hamburger. May your families one day forgive you.
Mayor McCheese gave his resignation speech, while speaking of needing time for his family, listeners suspected it to do with the his partying with the Fry Guys and drinking "Shamrock Shakes" while on the job.
In a dramatic display of emotion, Mayor McCheese announced he was converting to Judaism and as he could no longer mix milk and meat was going to undergo a chesectomy.
You have a problem with a plastic empty-headed mascot? Heck, you just elected one for president.
Mayor McCheese annonced his promotion as the director of the Dept of Health's nutrition division.... In a related story, the Democratic party was given a significant contribution from the McDonald's Foundation
The Mayor sez - I'm happy to announce that microphone polishing is an art form! If it becomes a sport, my team's fight song's gonna begin with - "hold the pickle, hold the lettuce" - and I can't wait for the tag team final elimination round!
"Mah sesame seed buns haz been picked clean."
Mayor McCheese: "....and now I'd like to announce the new McDonald's political action food.... Community Organizer McSleaze.
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